Fark NotNewsletter: Florida Man Doesn't Stop In Winter

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1705594807-26894-15983 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13121668](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your we= ek's been well. There was extr= a NFL football Monday afternoon thanks to weather issues in Buffalo. = I put on the game while I was working and I noticed that just one of the Li= ve NFL threads last week racked up over 1300 comments for just one game.&nb= sp; I was super impressed. Then I thought to check on the thread for = the current game. It was over 1400 comments in the first quarter, and= it finished over 3000. Wow guys great job. I even popped in to= say hi. I mention this because did you know you can [submit a Live thread](3D" We'll run them = for almost anything - I figure at least a few folks are watching anything a= t any time. We'd prefer they be submitted well in advance so we can q= ueue them up to launch at the correct time. Just pick the Live tag, note= when the event is starting, and we'll queue it up for you. = Thursday 4pm eastern it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with myself, Dill, Lucky, and Christi= ne is finally back. Florida Man is making the news this week - he sti= ll doesn't like clothes and also now he's throwing beer cans at speeding ca= rs and stealing bonsai trees while wearing his own underwear on his head.&n= bsp; These are all words that appeared in actual headlines we linked to thi= s week. Bonus followup to our I'm Not Saying It's Aliens mega-segment= last week: tiny Peruvian aliens are frauds, JFKs DNA may burn up on reentr= y, and a mysterious techno-signature is in the news again for all the wrong= reasons. ________________________ End D= rew transmission ________________________ Top Interactions Some of the bes= t interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes priority ove= r being placed in "top comments." - Farkers in [This Thread](3D" = couldn't help a few "Wheel of Fortune" jokes. - Send [dbirchall =](3D")and [McBrundleFly](3D"=)airliner parts! They're = scrounging online for 'em! Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest com= ments from the past week. If your post isn't here, assume that N= otNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D") and [Funniest](3D") for the past mon= th are found elsewhere.) Funny: - AnotherB= luesStringer[knows who you shouldn't ask to watch your kids.](3D"https:/=)- neofonz: "Someone took the "Spirit Airlines" thin= g a little too literally." - mofa[knows how yo= u get more bang for your buck with freezersoda.](3D") - bearded cl= amorer [spotted Hagrid's son.](3D".=) - SloppyFrenchKis= ser[ah yes, the personal erotica section of the library.](3D"=) Smart: - leeksfromchichis[wonders how = one accidentally buys cannabis.](3D") - Somacandra[r= ecommends an action inspired by the Little Rock Nine.](3D") - powhound[: "This is a teenager we are talking about. It's what the= y do."](3D"=) - BizarreMan[has a recommendation on = how to tell if you're dressed for work.](3D" [Politics](3D" P= olitics Funny: - Phil McKraken[: "That's gotta= be a porn name, right?"](3D") - stevecore[knows wha= t to do after kissing someone's butt for an extended period of time.](3D") - bostonguy [found a Ferris Bueller reference ap= plicable](3D" - Lokilaw2012[knows the other movie= TFG could've pulled his latest speech from.](3D" Politics Smart= : - Frederick[recommends you look for Jesus i= n large bunches of needy people.](3D" - Smelly Pirate Hooker= [warns of evil stupid people.](3D"=) - SurfaceTension= [wonders if there's different definitions of racism.](3D"=) - = ;Psychopusher[wonders if dumbass politicians will ever p= repare for unforeseen consequences. Or even consider that they exist.](=3D" Monkey's Pick I felt these posts wer= e exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. = Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Smart: - = MattytheMouse[decried the naming sense of sociological t= erms.](=3D" CSB Sunday Morning theme - "= [That time the power went out](3D")"= This week, Farkers were challenged to share their power outage experien= ces. [Funny](3D"=): - Carter Pewterschmidt[shorted o= ut the power to the whole school with just a screwdriver.](3D") - thealgorerhythm[joked about living in abject poverty.](3D=) = - punkrock2000[joked they'd had it worse.](3D" -&nb= sp;SloppyFrenchKisser[was forced to reconnect with their f= amily. The horror!](3D" Smart: - vudukungfu= ng>[played away the storm.](3D") - chewd[sheltered t= heir neighbors in the trailerpark.](3D") - Lsherm[sn= agged one of the last generators.](3D") - Azz[dealt = with consistently inconsistent blackouts for a very, very long time.](3D") Top Contest Entries= n> Some of the top-voted [c= ontest](3D"=) entries from last week. As always, everybody gets one - and they= 're sorted by how likely they are to still be open. [Photoshops](3D"): - meshnoob[committed lego ballpit.](3D" -&n= bsp;Dodo David[found a side gig for Count von Count.](=3D" Octafryeknows exactly what Mary's Little Lamb = did. - RedZoneTuba[put a self-portrait on the = Sistine Chapel Ceiling.](3D" - I_Am_Weasel[got down= to boogie.](3D") - Yammering_Splat_Vector[visited R= ick's Cafe.](3D") - Mr. Shabooboo[has time enough a= t last to read everything.](3D") - west.la.lawyer[ga= ve Rat Fink their car. Oh no.](3D") - EvaDewer[dug o= ut the OLD boombox.](3D") - Terrapin Bound[couldn't = resist the cameraperson.](3D") - fisker[knows how co= ld it gets on Tatooine at night.](3D") - EdgeRunner = dug up their old Pitfall cartridge. - [(Bonus)](3D" rye[knows what we used to pretend our muddy lawns were like.](3D"=)- no icon tact[played Bocce with the folks.](3D" = - retrophilmade a decoy. - Thrak= korzog[gave their cat the Rinnegan.](3D"=) - asstamas= sta[spotted a body-snatcher](3D"=) - sdinter= [... *gulp*](3D") - GoodDoctorB[burst the lawn bu= bble.](3D") - opalakea[watched the Three Stooges get= ahold of hard drugs.](3D" - samsquatch[My what big= jaws you have.](3D") - ansius[tossed the fish.](3D" [Capt= ions](3D".=): "[Caption this bather enjoying a spa day](3D"=)" = - Albert911emt [won't shave the beaver.](=3D" - Re= dZoneTuba [knows when the bath is really over.](3D"https://w=) "[Caption= this party chatter](3D")" - RedZoneTuba [sees the outfit = for what it is: a tennis outfit.](3D") - markie_farkie [we= nt straight to human testing. What about Walter the Farting Dog?](3D") - zjoik [well, at least they like you for your face?](3D"https:=) "[Caption these fishing buddies](3D")" - Devolving_Spud= [wishes their nuts weren't freezing.](3D") - Mojongo [wan= ts to be the one fishing.](3D") "[Caption these redheads enjoying a me= adow](3D" - Mr. Shabooboo [bragged about their yak hair.=](3D" - RedZoneTuba [proposed a tempting link.](3D" "[Caption this sus group](3D")" - stevenboof [spotted a G= enXer.](3D") - meshnoob [gave bad stock advice.](3D" "[Caption this sidewalk ceremony](3D")" - dionysusaur [se= es a low-hanging star.](3D") - KC Dutchman [wonders who mi= sspelled the name.](3D") [Farktography theme](3D" "[Abstrac= t Art](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to photograph something th= at counts as abstract art. From the Tate Art Museum: "Abstract art.= ..does not attempt to represent an accurate depiction of a visual reality b= ut...uses shapes, colours, and forms...to achieve its effect." For abstract= photography, that may mean isolating small portions of a subject to dra= w attention to certain elements out of context from the subject itself.= Specific photographic equipment or techniques may help create images that = play with color, texture, focus, shadow, or shape in a way that transfor= ms a subject into something surreal. For this week, show us your best a= bstract photography. - opalakea[blurred a squ= all with a camera technique.](3D") ("Intentional Camera Movement") - Lovesandwich= strong>[... Is that the Phoenix Force?](3D") - Warthog= >[Rabbit, duck, or peanut?](3D") - thisispete[found= concrete cladding that looks like wood.](3D") [Upcoming= Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're= effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out.= " [Submit one!](3D") [Monday, = April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small B= oat Harbor](3D") Fark= Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top headlin= es from last week. [Pope condemns situation that helped him get this p= articular job in the first place](3D"h=) [Boeing CEO says Alaska de= compression was their fault. Reminds anybody with questions his office has = an open door policy](3D") [Back in 2020, when most people were sorta stuck inside, a= new version of rock-paper-scissors dropped, and it sounds fantastic](=3D") [Smithers = rallies to support victims of burns. Excellent](3D") [I'm guess= ing the leg](3D") [Today is National Save = the Eagles Day, a day not appreciated by most people named Lebowski](3D"http=) = [Keep a stuffed upper lid and carry on](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you= by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on last week's Q= uiz, where we learned that fashion designers aren't always practical when i= t comes to comfort of the people wearing their designs. On the Quiz itself,= Denjiro came out on top with 945, followed by VooDoo_Blonde in second with 931 and No Catchy Nick= name in third with 926. johnnieconnie made fourth= with 921, and sugaryvitamin made it into the top fiv= e with 918. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about= Fark's favorite two-time Hugo Award Nominee Chuck Tingle. Only 32% of quiz= takers knew that when making public appearances, Mr. Tingle maintains his a= nonymity by wearing a pink bag over his head. Upon hearing of this, th= e Texas Library Association rescinded their invitation to him to speak at t= heir annual conference because they feared his pink bag, rather than his bo= oks, might make attendees uncomfortable. Mr. Tingle has since declined the = reissued invitation, perhaps after discovering he would have to travel to T= exas. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what = country was declared to have an "armed internal conflict" last week after a= rmed militants took over a state television station during a live broa= dcast. 79% of quiztakers knew that President Noboa of Ecuador made the decl= aration as soon as they interrupted his favorite program, "Mysteries of the= Galápagos," during Giant Tortoise Week, and promptly sent out the m= ilitary to restore order. The situation is compounded by the fact there are= 22 different armed gangs vying for power, which means they've run out of i= dentifying colors and gang members are having difficulty determining t= he difference between "teal" and "cerulean blue" in the heat of battle, lea= ding to excessive friendly fire incidents. The hardest questi= on on last week's Easy Quiz was about which beer company was offering "beer= mints" for $5/tin, in case you had any friends who you wanted to think tha= t you were even weirder than they already do. Only 60% of quiztakers c= aught the article about the curious candies from Miller Liter, which review= ers are saying taste of neither beer nor mint. Which is fitting, as it has = this in common with actual Miller Lite. The easiest question on las= t week's Easy Quiz was about which Korean company showed off the world's fi= rst fully transparent micro-LED screen at CES this year. 88% of quiztakers = recognized that Samsung was the Korean electronics giant, while Sharp is Ja= panese. This means we're one step closer to windows made from hi-def LEDs c= apable of completely blocking your view of the outdoors in order to bring y= ou up-to-the minute weather reports of what it's like outside. The future i= s now, people. If you missed out last week, now is a great time to = [catch up on the Fark = Weird News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations= once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday in th= e unlikely event we can unthaw our fingers by then. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1705594807-26894-15983--