An Open Letter to Bitches Who Wanna Sell Stuff Online

Step one: buy a kayak for paddling through the lagoon of mule shit that’s going to flood your brain the minute you decide to actually take someone’s money.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Forwarded this email? [Subscribe here]() for more [An Open Letter to Bitches Who Wanna Sell Stuff Online]( Step one: buy a kayak for paddling through the lagoon of mule shit that’s going to flood your brain the minute you decide to actually take someone’s money. [Ash Ambirge]( Nov 9 ∙ Preview   [READ IN APP](   Step one: buy a kayak. This is not for kayaking, but for paddling through the lagoon of mule shit that’s going to flood your brain the minute you decide to actually take someone’s money. Haha, money! Why is asking for it so uncomfortable? I’ll tell you why: because our entire lives, we’ve been taught that money is: - Dirty - Impolite - Amoral - Greedy - Something you don’t talk about - Something that’s wrong to have too much of - Something that corrupts you - Something that only “rich” people have - Something that can’t buy happiness (RIGHT) - The root of all evil - And, of course, the reason why none of us are running around popping champagne bottles, hiding our tummies with our towels, trying like hell not to let anyone see that we totally forgot to shave as we sail around the Mediterranean upon our GRAND AND LUXURIOUS 900-FOOT YACHT WITH PEOPLE WE DON’T EVEN LIKE. We get it, we get it! Asking for money really can be uncomfortable. But, you know what else is uncomfortable? Getting caught siphoning propane from your neighbor’s tank in the middle of the night so you can heat your noodles. AWWWKKKWARRRRDDDDDDDDDDD. Alas, ye fellow noodle lover, in this 3-part series (see [Part I]( and [Part II]( we’ve been talking about creative ways to bring in fat stacks of year-end cashflow so you can be anxiety free for the holidays and skip off with a candy cane in your mouth. But, you know what “bringing in cashflow” requires? Actually asking for it. Ding, ding, ding. And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today: how to ask other people for money with your creative biz (and how to gorgeously get it). --------------------------------------------------------------- So, you know what to do [if you sell services](. You know about [the importance of having a digital product](. Now let’s talk about the golden rules for actually selling your stuff—without the whole thing being a big, ugly flop. (Flopping is only cool when you’re a twelve-year old boy at a pool party.) Rule #1: Wanting money does not make you greedy. It does not make you amoral. It does not make you some scammy Daddy Warbucks with a questionably-shaped head. Rather, you & your business are two entirely separate entities. You are the fiduciary OF this business. You have a fiduciary duty TO this business. You are the quarterback, the captain, the custodian. Therefore, it’s your job to make decisions that are in the best interest OF this business—not necessarily in the best interest of your fears (which would lead to all of us watching 1700 Yellowstone re-runs in our sweats on the couch, wishing we had Beth’s balls). Your decision-making should not be a reflection of own personal shortcomings, your own anxieties, and your own money phobias. Your decision-making should be based on what will keep the business healthy & happy & humming. These are two very different things. Therefore, when you think about running a sale & asking people to spend money with you, I want you to think about it as if you were completely detached. This is not about making you personally wealthy; this is about you being a responsible steward. And, responsible stewards understand that a business can’t operate—and do all the good it is capable of doing in the world—without fuel. Money is fuel. Because while you may not need an extra $25,000 in your pocket before the end of the year, your business might: costs like taxes, contractor payments, and monthly operating expenses are all a part of building something beautiful. Rule #2: That teeny, tiny little mention you put at the end of your newsletter is going to result in zero (0) sales. I know. I KNOW. In a perfect world, you’d just quickly mention it at the end of one of your newsletters—or maybe in an Instagram caption—and you could exhale and all the sales would come rushing in because you, dear noodle, worked up the nerve to say something. (”At least it’s better than nothing,” you tell yourself, patting yourself on the back.) But, I have very, very bad news: this doesn’t work. Like, flat-out, can say with all certainty and the benefit of 15 years of running a successful creative business online: you’re wasting your time. A quick little mention about something isn’t going to sell. And then you will be very sad. And then you will think that something is wrong with you, when in reality, nothing is wrong with you: it’s just not how you sell online. To which I say: PLEASE HOLD... Subscribe to The Middle Finger Project with Ash Ambirge to read the rest. 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