Fark NotNewsletter: Boozer in the Hoosier

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1666200262-68559-39797 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 09530](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ This Friday at 5 p.m. we're having [the first Fark Party in awhile](3D") at the Red Yeti in Jefferson= ville, Indiana - right across the river from Louisville. If the weath= er's nice you can walk over the Big Four bridge, the northern ramp stops ab= out a block away from the pub. Someone asked about mask= /vaccine status for the party. For those who aren't aware, Indiana is a bac= kwards third world libertarian paradise that won't allow anyone to require = any safety precautions whatsoever. I've personally had all the vacci= nes: COVID, bivalent, flu, polio, HPV, rabies, scurvy, you name it, and you= should too. However I would not recommend anyone who is immuno-compr= omised to set foot in Indiana, a state so bad at maintaining basic infrastr= ucture that it is regularly sued over car damage incurred because it can't = be bothered to fix potholes on the Interstate. And yes I do live in K= entucky, but Indiana had a better rep at some point in the past, a= t least I think it did. And don't get me started on Ohio. Anyho= w, the bright blue but metaphorically red oasis that is Louisville shines d= own upon the river towns on the wrong side of the Ohio river, hopefully goo= d civic behavior rubs off on them but I wouldn't count on it. So if y= ou are able, join us Friday at 5 p.m. at the Red Yeti and we can trash talk= even more states - such as Missouri, home of radioactive elementary school= s for over 75 years but somehow we're just finding that out this week. = ; Tl;dr we're boned, might as well have a pint. Also, a note for th= ose of you who see ads. First off, I thank you for not using an ad bl= ocker, every little bit helps us keep the lights on. I would also lik= e to recommend, for those who are able, a [BareFark](3D" or [TotalFark](3D") subscription as both come with a no-ads experience. = True fact: Fark sees far more revenue per person from subscriptions than i= t does from ads. It would be the greatest ChristmasWeen gift to me ever if = everyone subscribed and we didn't have to deal with ads at all. Any= how, reading everything in the news cycle is part of my job, and lately the= re have been some schadenfreude articles about a certain party's candidates= and PACs getting soaked on last minute ad spend because they don't underst= and how digital advertising works. In analog advertising (TV/print/ra= dio), slots are blocked out in advance and more can't be created. The= se are all sold out as we approach election day. Digital ads work on = an auction however - it's always possible to buy digital ads provided you'r= e willing to outbid everyone else. And since campaign money is use it= or lose it, apparently they're willing. Normally we bl= ock political ads on Fark. Everyone finds them annoying, especially w= hen they chase unlikely voters. I personally don't like them at all.&= nbsp; However, for the next couple days I'm testing out a theory. Goo= gle Ad Manager allows you to run A/B testing experiments, so starting yeste= rday I told it to allow political ads on 1% of our inventory IF the buyer w= as paying a super-high premium. Like 2x or higher normal average spen= d. It's been running for about 24 hours now and the res= ults are "inconclusive," which probably means the demand isn't there. = But I'm going to keep it running to see how it goes, and if political camp= aigns start to lose their minds at the last minute, I may throw the floodga= tes open. So if you get a political ad that enrages you, rest assured= that we extracted a very steep price from that advertiser. Which is = still less than what we realize from BareFark and TotalFark, so please sign= up today! This week on the [Fark News Lives= tream](3D") with Christine, Dill, Lucky and me - this may be the last week be= fore pre-election politics completely takes over the news cycle. So f= ar, the Fark news cycle is breaking in two different directions - we're see= ing a ton of articles about 1) space and 2) Pennsylvania. I can't exp= lain why either of these are showing up so much this week, but I'm glad bec= ause we don't delve into politics much if at all on the livestream. N= ext week may take the option away from us, but we'll see! ______________= __________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and fu= nniest comments from the past week Funny: Marcu= s Aurelius had [a strange = side effect when the "toxins" in the COVID-19 vaccines were "activated" Oct= ober 10](=3D" physt [don= ated to Alex Jones because one perk was just too good to pass up](3D" Ragin' Asian recognized [the inspiration for the decor in a house for sale in Seattle](3D" Devolving_Spud guessed [w= ho might be on the cover of a book about the 1990s between the Clintons and= O.J. Simpson](3D" syrynxx had [an important question about "the world's hottest gummy bear" cyberspacedout wondered](3D")[what's wrong with an interactive playground that includes music= al instruments](3D" Russ1642 wanted [a little more information about Alex Jones](3D") Angry Drunk Bureaucrat noticed [a definite change since the evil vaccine has been activated](3D" = neongoats reacted word that [some people are offended by the thumbs-up emoji](3D" Mon= iker o' Shame described [wha= t a team of divers found in the Allegheny River](3D" Smart:= Bajtaur had a soluti= on for a reverend who refused to baptize a baby whose parents are "liv= ing in sin" GardenWeasel had an idea to [actually add some value to a painting by Adolf = Hitler](3D") Ker_Thwap made [a point that activists sometimes miss about some of their destr= uctive stunts](3D" LindenFark figured [a country club that went back on a promise of a prize = truck could face more trouble](3D") Monkeyfark Ridiculous = > thought [the dealership seemed a lit= tle fishy in the case of the phantom hole-in-one truck](3D"=) Rev.K= suggested [a change to a ch= art that breaks down how much alcohol American adults drink each week](3D"ht=)Redh8t shared a story about [a tournament that was organized by people who knew how to prope= rly offer a hole-in-one prize](3D" Neondistraction shar= ed [something you hopefully already kn= ow about your computer](3D"=) Mad Canadian [did some math on giving away a truck for a hole-in-one a= t a golf tournament](3D") CSB Sunday Morning theme: [The firs= t time you felt like a grownup](3D") Smart: Maybe yo= u should drive [finally had a mom= ent to say goodbye](3D"htt=) Funny: Winterlight = > [worried for a child's welfare](3D") Politics Funny: Jesus McSordid discussed&n= bsp;[how pleased Russians are with how the = attack on Ukraine is going](3D") Bootleg took a guess at= [how much a jury would decide Alex Jo= nes had to pay in his latest trial](3D") I Have A Bo Burnham GIF F= or That had [another way to = deal with hecklers after ducking thrown beers](3D"h=) Chariset = ong> agreed [Herschel Walker wasn't acting = dumb when he pulled out his prop badge and said "I am work with many police= officers"](3D"=) Summoner101 thought about [things that never get old](3D") Politics= Smart: markie_farkie pointed out the fact that&n= bsp;[there really was a plan for security o= n January 6, 2021](3D") bloobeary made a suggestion on how to handle Donald Trump's Jan. 6 co= mmittee testimony if it's done on live TV Ghastly = discussed [the problem with billionair= es](3D"=) koder thought [there should be one universal rule for cops' uniforms](3D" P= addy shared [how well Russia= is able to control information within the country](3D"h=) Top Contest Entries Some of= the top-voted contest entries from last week Photoshops:RedZoneTuba gave us [the important feature smart phones have been missing all this time](3D" showed [Weird Al's dark side](3D") west.la.lawyer = found [time travelers depicted in the = ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead](3D".=) Yammering_Splat_Vector= rong>'s [dinosaur ate our waterfall](3D"=)= > Yammering_Splat_Vector depicted [the humble life of the owl farmer](3D") chewd = strong> showed us [this dysfunctional= couple on vacation](3D"https=) RedZoneTuba introduced [a new political magazine](3D") arti= fishy knew [how to make a ro= llercoaster ride way more exciting](3D"ht=) Dodo David [tried to fix Budweiser](3D") brachiop= od [heard you like pizza, dog](3D"=)= Farktography theme: [= Youthful](3D") Lovesandwich photographed [a nervous perch](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A selection = of some of the top headlines from last week [In the midnight fire, it burned moai, moai, moai, moai. With a rebel yell= we lost moai, moai, moai](3D") [Russia strikes military railroad s= tations, military hospitals, military playgrounds, military theaters, milit= ary apartment blocks, military power stations, military shopping centers, a= nd military holocaust memorials in Ukraine](3D") [Bad: high= beams from oncoming traffic. Worse: I-beams from oncoming traffic](3D") = [Man falsely claimed he was a = billionaire, a Harvard MBA, and a special forces veteran to commit $35 mill= ion fraud. Authorities became suspicious when he didn't launch a Senate cam= paign](3D") [Woman who plunged= to her death from swanky rooftop bar in NYC remembered as "sweet and lovin= g," down to earth](3D"=) [= Panthers kill off the golden Rhule](=3D" [The foam pit at TwitchCon = was evidently sponsored by Action Park](3D") [Na= an Solo](3D" [Maybe you didn't hear about it, but Teller had triple bypass = surgery earlier this week. Expect there will be no statement later either= a>](3D"https://=)[Madoff fried Bacon](3D".=) [Five words that strike terror into the hearts of m= odern society: "Supreme Court back in session"](3D") [Pennsylvania to the US Extreme Court: "You have made your decis= ion. Now have your army enforce it"](3D") [Cats never studied law t= hus they don't adhere to the laws of gravity](3D") [Forget weed, wine, and Xanax: Science says therapy= is what you really need for your anxiety. Screw you, science](3D") = Fark Weird News Quiz (br= ought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time= on the Quiz last week, although I'm still wondering where people who purch= ase "certified pre-owned" cars put their certificates. On the Quiz itself, = dionysusaur came out on top with 1009 and a ticket to the = 1000 club where I just made maple bacon ice cream, with TheMot= hership in second with 991 and Evildog in th= ird with 942. WoolyManwich made fourth with 940, and&= nbsp;maumau the flakcatcher made it into the top five with= 928. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the w= ord "bombinate," which was Merriam Webster's Word of the Day last Monday. O= nly 31% of quiztakers knew that the word actually means "to make a sustaine= d buzzing or droning sound," like students in a class when the teacher is t= rying explain boring stuff like the definition of "bombinate." The = easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the actress Angela= Lansbury's most famous role, her character in the "Murder, She Wrote" TV s= eries and made-for-TV movies. 98% of quiztakers knew it was Jessica Fletche= r. Annie Wilks was the villain from "Misery," and Joan Wilder was the write= r protagonist from "Romancing the Stone" and "Jewel of the Nile," who wrote= the books Juan read to his goons on Saturdays. The hardest q= uestion on last week's Easy Quiz was about which hip-hop star UC Berkley st= udents would have the opportunity to study in the Spring 2023 semester. Onl= y 53% of quiztakers recognized Nicki Manaj as the artist behind hits like "= Super Bass." Starship," and being featured in the Alicia Keys hiat "Girl on= Fire," which I never understood why they felt the need to write a song abo= ut before notifying emergency services. The easiest question = on last week's Easy Quiz was about the 1968 Jane Fonda comic book movie tha= t's finally getting a long-awaited remake. 93% of quiztakers recognized "Ba= rbarella" as the flick that's been greenlit, starring Sydney Sweeney who yo= u might know from "The Handmaid's Tale" and "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.= " Let's hope they follow the plotline from [insert obscure plot point from = Volume II issue #37] instead of trying to shoehorn in [insert other charact= er no one liked from the first half of Volume IV]. If you mis= sed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the F= ark Weird News Quiz](3D". Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'= ll be back again for more on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1666200262-68559-39797--