I'm a failure

this is embarrassing... [View in browser](=.aDCif4Elcmt_sb36a_RGpLOfWaDGIVuvipTLT2Ce4c8) Sometimes I see authors argue about whether it’s better to write for love or money; for yourself or other people; as an enjoyable hobby or as a business. Often people will focus on what they want, what makes them happy – and of course you can and should do whatever you like. But… here’s another way to see this discussion. You already know what you like. What feels good, what’s easy or pleasant. So of course it makes sense to say “well, let’s do more of THAT.” Writers often turn this into an identity, even a mark of pride. “I don’t care if nobody else read it; I’m doing it for myself.” I definitely said this a lot as a painter, when people didn’t get my paintings. I struggled at that hard and long enough that by the time I got serious about writing, I was done chasing personal expression; I wanted to provide measurable and meaningful value. I’m not saying you should always to do the hard thing, the thing that makes you grow, the thing that scares you (though – that’s exactly what most famous authors and artists have been saying for centuries). I’d just be cautious building an identity in a way that limits your potential. It’s a way to protect your heart, to push away the idea of fame or reward, and just do the work. But then you’ll never really be comfortable with the opposite, the thing you’ve disavowed (but maybe secretly desire). The fame, the accolades, the eager fans who loved your books so much they changed their lives. Focus on the goals that pull you forward, that excite you… without automatically creating a belief that those things aren’t important, aren’t the main reason you create, or aren’t possible for you. You can’t really control what you want; so turn towards it and face it. Lean into that yearning, that enthusiasm. Those big dreams can be more motivating than anything else – and also, they pull you in the right direction. In the direction of making art that matters, art that other people appreciate. Speaking of failing… Recently I saw my name being used to console an author who hasn’t been feeling very productive. I was an example of a writer who’s been failing to meet my goals for nearly a decade. But not in a negative way, which I found interesting. I tend to feel depressed about how little I’ve accomplished, with all my big dreams and ideas; but for other people, I think it’s helpful to know you’re not alone. [The creative struggle](=.qGYNtwqHyOr5ewzJXhAItRZtaZc5T9IDGfieJQAaE4U)is fairly common but not everyone talks about it openly. The truth is, you can fail all the time and still be kind of successful. I wrote an email a few years ago about how you can fail 95% of the time and still be very successful with that 5%, and in fact that’s what you have to do, that’s just the way it works. The 5% that really paid off in a big way is exciting, but the 95% of failed projects or opportunities also matters because they were necessary to lead to that one thing that really worked. I’m not sure you can choose to just do the 5% and be 100% successful all the time. I think you probably need to keep doing everything (things worth doing are worth doing poorly) until something pays off. Though it's also completely possible to do all the things and never see any success, if you're doing all the wrong things (that's where it helps to get support or mentorship from people who have already done the things you'd like to achieve). Personally, I tend to procrastinate hard against the things I don’t enjoy, and my most successful projects are probably when I let myself get very excited about something even though I’m really just using it as a distraction away from what I should be doing. It usually happens when I’m stressed or have too much on my plate. (This is why quitting to write full time doesn’t always work). Luckily for me, some of my ideas are pretty good, and when I do allow myself to focus on them (not really a conscious choice, just being OK diverting this restless energy into anything productive, even if it’s the wrong thing), I can get more done in a week than in 5 years. So things can suddenly come together very quickly. Everyone struggles to find a healthy way to express their creativity, but maybe it doesn’t work like that. Maybe you have to throw things together and shake the bottle until it’s about to explode; to add heat and pressure and resistance. Or maybe it’s just me – growing up my dad would give me a 30 minute chore and I’d spend all day hiding out reading a book instead of doing the thing. Active resistance and refusal, chagrin at the task. Other people talk about resistance to the work you are supposed to do. But maybe that’s not it. Maybe you’re resisting all the things that doesn’t make your heart sing, and you feel like a bird in a cage trying to break free. Capture that energy, harness it. Sometimes you can’t do the thing you want to do until you’re forced to do something you don’t want to do. Focus on the life you want, and the one you don’t. Focus on the happy feelings and chase them; they’ll help you do the work. Make a choice. You don’t have to do it fast, you don’t have to do it now. But you have to do something. An example of me failing long and hard… [Here’s the original post](=.O70lIYoyDPgk8bdpmBVd7cNl7NOJmIJk3NmWHg0vTEo)I put up about my 21 day platform course almost a decade ago (in 2014), with people asking me when it will be available. Instead of finishing it, I wrote 20 books and got a PhD in Literature. I don’t think the course would have been good, had I finished it at that time. I needed to go deeper. I needed new tools. [Here’s an article I made in Thailand](=.2ya67MysZ4Q4TZhdJFMA7LWreJXSs126jFiEA43LdCc), at a business conference 4 years ago, talking about 21 ways I was going to fix all my online funnels and boost my income fast… I never did those things (and I only published that blog post this week, it’s been sitting in drafts for 4 years). Instead of doing all of the things I should do, I spent the last few years working on my passion projects and books - barely managing to keep all my online tools and websites working (they still get 100+ optins a day but traffic is way down). So right now I'm in the process of building everything back up quickly, with new tools that never existed before, so that I don't suddenly find myself begging for employment when Google decides to stop sending me traffic or Amazon decides to bury all the books I've spent years writing. I think that's a pretty important thing for me to do be doing right now, because things are going to change in big ways this year, especially for any kind of [online business](=.2Fq4B4OmJFsRa6dgNdwcnf94_9djEolaW145pMpmfbo). I need to put out fires and make sure all my online platforms are working. I need better systems and funnels so I can sell more books with less work. And then I can go back to creative projects I enjoy. But I'm also pretty excited about it all, because once you have some kind of a platform, small changes can yield big results; and even if I've been failing for years, that might have all been necessary to get me to the point where I have something worth saying. If you also have a million projects that you need some more eyeballs for, or aren't sure which projects are worth your time or why you aren't getting the traction you want, I hope you'll sign up to my 21 Day Author Platform course which is open now but closing soon - it's meant for authors but I'm adding in a lot of more advanced stuff about online businesses in general. And even if you want nothing to do with any of that, you'll be getting some quick feedback from me so you can sell more books fast with minimal time and effort, even if you don't actually go through all the course materials (this is a special bonus that's going away). See what's included Check it out: [How to launch a bestselling book in 21 days.](=.gburoY8Twj6xUXFO3iyjrFq-GpR3a2ikOTEdXkUtxeg) You can see the *whole* plan for free and I even have a [free youtube series](=.DJIQoknUylFn2Tke-EkI30sROV0qlJ4jjOABL9eyo6A) that will walk you through the basics. Not everything will be available if you decide to join next week at the last minute, however, so the best time to join is now. "But I just want to write!" I've already gotten feedback from some authors who don't want to take a course or build an author platform. They just want to write books, and that's fair. One of the bonuses you'll get is a video review of your author platform for quick and easy wins you can finish in a day that will make a big difference; but I've also added some options if you just want me to give you a total makeover and fix everything for you so you don't have to worry about it. So take a look over [the course material](=._U4lEkGx7StjgSgh8OsAvGex7iIi44tIn23-EDmp1k8) to see if there's an option that works best for you, or feel free to reach out with questions about what else I can do for you. Whether you're working on writing and finishing your book, or an established author marketing your backlist, I can help. PS - if you joined one of my previous courses like Guerrilla Publishing, there's a good chance you already have access to this one; I grandfathered everybody in to thank them for their support. I didn't expect it to take this long, but once the doors close I'll focus on helping everybody boost their sales as much as possible. =.G7k1xva7STr59kVAN-4gbZX5L_wY2geTeBKhmddOx0A [Share to Facebook](=.6tI1HRbBv3LivbDu_l0-IWuBaMAbfbihhT0wfc9dkpc) =.67sMAyAFWoUWMrCOHScjroh4a4Gz7VKgXrqqB_n9IPY [Share to Twitter](=.CxqYAEOj7HR3uDJOazs5_qypAjA-qXU03bYom1BlrWY) =.QQGUKKEEMlxFme7MjN7qkK0Imfa3BpmtAHogdRPQusc [Forward email](=.OhaTlMxEIlfd2tMbdmUB_O8SFQzZ0TkskcAXqYMsr5Q) Do not want to see it again? [Unsubscribe](=.y1Lx3R6iReXJYXZRXaFyfZ64JpdH7CHECxUIVgZakOA) Derek Murphy [Creativindie.com](=.U_xf-qo1UESuRNpLIfliJ8JNW2JlxR4mPyfWk0F1-zQ) | Portland, OR Location Independent - Usually in a castle or cabin.