Several points about the power of listening.

Issue #273 of the Better Humans Newsletter. Subscribe here for inspiration and knowledge. [Tony Stubblebine](coachtony?source=email-c7f27b30bfea-1661339516908-newsletter.subscribeToProfile-7038e003d060------------------------b2cde4a7_96f5_4213_a60c_1df5503e05ce--------de6e5ad096a9)[Tony Stubblebine](coachtony?source=email-c7f27b30bfea-1661339516908-newsletter.subscribeToProfile-7038e003d060------------------------b2cde4a7_96f5_4213_a60c_1df5503e05ce--------de6e5ad096a9) in [Better Humans](   ∙  3 min read   ∙  [View on Medium]( Several points about the power of listening. Issue #273 of the Better Humans Newsletter. [Subscribe here]( for inspiration and knowledge. ··· Here’s a little bit about the power of listening. The first time that I coached under someone else’s supervision was with a team of other coaches going into a high-profile company. The coaching supervisor was a very high-level coach, and he’d set us up with a simple structure for our coaching sessions. But despite his training, he could see anxiety on the face of every coach in the group. So he gave us a little pep talk that started, “I can see that none of you are confident that this will work. But for what you are about to do, you can borrow my confidence. I know it will work.” This coach continued his pep talk a bit further, though. “Most people have nobody in their life who truly listens to them with 100% attention. So no matter what else happens in your coaching sessions, you will be the first person to ever truly listen to them.” There are so many practical reasons to develop your listening skills, but the first is simply that it is a powerful gift to other people. ··· Of course, the devil is in the details. You don’t just show up and listen. Listening is a set of skills, and a lot of those skills involve shutting down the ways that your own mind creates distractions. The foundational skill then is awareness, as [Isaiah Ramos]( articulates in [Active Listening is a Management Superpower]( Through a daily meditation practice I’ve developed a greater awareness of my breath. When I notice it quickening I take some deep breaths and slow down. As a result I’m less impulsive, less inclined to provide quick reflexive answers, and more comfortable with the occasional silence that is critical to deep thinking. ··· But there are also specific frameworks for better listening. For example, I found [this SHUSH framework helpful]( S — Show you care H — Have patience U — Use open questions S — Say it back H — Have courage There are a lot of important details there. One big one is the need to demonstrate that you are listening. If you don’t do this, then people will lose faith that it’s worth sharing and also won’t have faith in anything that you say back to them. ··· One point of listening is that it creates trust. Sometimes that’s just necessary on a purely practical level. Most people won’t listen to you unless you’ve first listened to them. But the other is that you listen to learn. So this is where I try to make a personal point of pride about changing my mind. When I meet with people, I’m constantly monitoring whether I think differently about anything. If I do, then I must have listened. There is a reason that [Mike Sturm]( [Falsification Mindset]( is the article I’ve linked to the most in this newsletter. ··· Just one more link on this: [Improve Your Relationships and Negotiation Skills by Cultivating a Practice of Active Listening]( by [Shruthi Sundaram](. Just the title alone has me thinking about how often listening is a self-serving tactic. But it’s not manipulative because what it opens up is a world of win-wins. So you practice listening in a relationship so that both of you have a better relationship. [Reply to this story](mailto:tony+newsletter@tonystubblebine.com?subject=Re: Several points about the power of listening.)[View story]( Sent to {EMAIL} by Tony Stubblebine on Medium [Unsubscribe]( from this writer’s Medium emails Medium, 548 Market St, PMB 42061, San Francisco, CA 94104[Careers]( Center]( Policy]( of service](