“definitely closed” (and other lies Google told about me)

leave me a Google review ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  I used to have this really super-duper embarrassing problem: My business was listed on Google as “permanently closed.” …in red letters like this. [Animated GIF of Tarzan holding her hands up to her face in a gesture of embarrassment, then smiling laughingly as she places her hands back in her lap] (weirdly, Google likes to talk to me in French, so what my business profile actually read was“fermé définitivement”) Despite multiple attempts by team members to fix it, and several fumbly personal attempts that involved ordering snail-mail verification postcards from Google, every six months or so I found myself checking in with Sandra to say, “Hey, what do we do about this goddamn Google problem?” Years went by. (Yes, really. Years.) At one point I found myself sitting next to a Google employee at Oddbird, one of my fave local restaurants. He claimed he could fix my problem, or hook me up with someone who could. Double negative on that. Then the other day, at something like 5 minutes before 5pm, I found myself needing to do just one more productive thing before calling it a day. My Google profile, I thought. Why not try again? Somehow, by some miracle, this time it worked: TARZAN KAY GLOBAL WAS OPEN FOR BUSINESS ONCE AGAIN! I wanted to dance around my house shouting the lyrics from Fiddler On The Roof. 🎶“Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!” 🎶 Now that I’m no longer fermé définitivement I want to make my Google listing even better. I want it to be teeming with life, just like me, doing cartwheels across the internet inviting new business owners to fall in love with email marketing and make inboxes around the world safer, smarter and more like a place you want to be (and be seen!)  With that in mind, would you [leave me a Google review]( Even if it’s to say, “Tried her emails, did not like the flavour!” But better if it’s to say, “Tarzan’s emails are the best thing in my inbox.” Just please not like my brother Quentin’s review which says something like, “Hey beautiful where can I get a copy of that album you made in 1993?” — to which I resisted replying, “Ask my official archivist aka Mom and, I dunno, maybe try a text message next time?” But I digress. My dream is for my company’s potential customers and subscribers to see reviews that they can be assured have not been edited (“just for clarity!”), tampered with (“by $6 you meant $6K, right?”), or changed in any way. I’d love to hear your experience with my business, and with these emails. I’ve been running this show for more than seven years, and I’ve been a writer for much longer. I’m great at taking critical feedback, and even better at receiving compliments. Your reviews of all kinds are most welcome. [Leave me a Google review]( Thanks a mill. Tarzan P.S. The next round of Email Stars begins March 20, and you get $200 off if you enroll before the end of the week! More information [here](. This is a small group program for people who want to do profitable email marketing with story-based emails that are fun to write and a pleasure to read. It comes with a ton of personal attention from me, and it’s priced like a digital course (something I am not likely to do again!) Want to access your fave emails on the go? Subscribe to the [Tarzan Reads Her Emails]( podcast]( to, well, hear Tarzan read her emails. 🤷‍♀️ [New recordings released every Tuesday and Friday. Exclusively for my email subscribers]( Enjoy the email? Why not share it with a friend? [Facebook](  [Twitter](  [Linkedin](  [Email]( Inbox getting a little crowded? Looking to reduce the number of emails you receive? I hear ya, {NAME}! Simply choose how often you want to hear from me by clicking one of the links below. [Send 'em as you write 'em!]( [One a week would be perfect.]( [Can I get a monthly digest?]( This email was sent to: {EMAIL}. [Click here to update your info](. Tarzan Kay Global Inc., PO Box 1036, Fonthill, ON L0S1E0, Canada | [Unsubscribe](