don’t hate me, but I have a word of the year

setting personal goals before business ones ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌  I used to date this guy who was a big planner and a very successful man. He had one year plans, five-year plans, plans upon plans upon plans which, annoyingly, he always seemed to be achieving. I can’t even plan lunch. [Tarzan laying on her carpeted living room floor, smiling at the camera in her new TNAbutter tights and sporty Champion cropped sweatshirt] A recurring theme for me in 2022 was emergency ramen noodles when I remembered to eat at all, which was seldom. It occurred to me that before I can make my business plans for 2023, it’s important to take stock of what I want to achieve personally. Here’s what I came up with as a list of goals for the new year: I want to feel safe in my body. The last 18 months have been the hardest of my life and learning to self-regulate has been a challenge. But I’ve noticed that when I feel safe in my body I make better choices and spend less time running damage control in my most important relationships. I want to have safe sex, and lots of it. I’ve been watching a YouTube series by Planned Parenthood called [Talking About Safer Sex, Testing and STDs](. I feel like a total beginner in this area, and educating myself feels really good. I want to trust myself more. I broke trust with myself many times since getting divorced. I trusted people who were not safe, who I thought knew better than me, in many cases because I was desperate for acceptance and love. None of us knew how to be safe for each other, and that has been a hard thing to admit. I’m developing my ability to trust myself again with the help of a very good therapist. I want to do less harm (i.e. I want to be a safe person for others). I’ve made big strides doing less harm in my business, as you have seen if you’ve been following my work for more than a few months. But this is a new concept for me when it comes to my closest community and the people I love. I’m still figuring that out. I want to understand boundaries and practice consent. My kids have this great book called [Consent for Kids! Boundaries, Respect and Being In Charge of You]( by Rachel Brian. I learned a lot. This is another area where I feel like I am floating in an ocean of things I don’t know about and was never taught but I really want to become a strong swimmer. With that in mind, I realized that my theme for this year is CREATING SAFETY. I want to create safety for myself and for my children, and the communities we belong to both professionally and personally. I never thought about this topic much until realizing last year that I have felt alone and unsafe for most of my life, ever since I was a little girl. While that is common for many people, that doesn’t make it normal or okay. I’ve never had a word or theme of the year before, and it feels really good to have landed on one. Now there’s a filter through which to run my goals and ideas. Before solidifying my plans, I can ask myself questions like… 👉 How will this goal contribute to the safety of myself, my children and our community? 👉 In what ways could this potentially add volatility or make me feel unstable? 👉 How does my body feel when I think about going after this goal? The other day I bought a supersize box of Durex condoms from Costco and thought to myself, “Maybe my goal for 2023 could just be to get to the bottom of this box by the end of the year.” It passes the test, definitively. If only all goals were so simple and fun! I have a lot of work to do (and undo) around creating safety. It does not feel like an easy task. But it’s more interesting and exciting to me than setting a revenue goal (which I also have, btw), so that’s something. Your turn, {NAME}. Do you have a goal or theme? It’s okay if you loathe the whole idea of having one. Normally this sort of thing annoys me and makes me blame myself for lacking direction. But since I unexpectedly realized I do have clear direction this year, I thought I’d share it. Hit “reply” and share yours if you feel like it. I read all of your replies. XOT Want to access your fave emails on the go? Subscribe to the [Tarzan Reads Her Emails]( podcast]( to, well, hear Tarzan read her emails. 🤷‍♀️ [New recordings released every Tuesday and Friday. Exclusively for my email subscribers]( Enjoy the email? Why not share it with a friend? [Facebook](  [Twitter](  [Linkedin](  [Email]( Inbox getting a little crowded? Looking to reduce the number of emails you receive? I hear ya, {NAME}! Simply choose how often you want to hear from me by clicking one of the links below. 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