My Daughter’s Baked “Not-So-Goods”

My daughter, some ingredients, and an oven. What could go wrong, and what could go right?  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ Issue #38 | May 16, 2023 Hey, it's Pat! No one wants to fail, but I’m going to try to convince you to change your mind about that. When I changed my own mind about failure, it completely transformed my approach to everything. As a father and an entrepreneur, I’m trying hard to pass these same lessons on to my kids, and along the way, to you as well. Let’s get unstuck. QUOTE OF THE WEEK “Life is a thorough university; pain and hardship are its distinguished professors.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo THE STORY I took a hopeful bite and… it wasn’t great. No, actually — it wasn’t good at all. My immediate reaction was to grab a napkin and spit it out, but it was the sugar cookie my daughter Kai spent all afternoon making from scratch. Oh, and she was staring right at me. “How is it, Daddy?” she asked me excitedly. I needed to grab some water before I could physically respond, but that gave me a few extra seconds to conjure up the perfect response. On one hand, I could have replied with a supportive white lie like “it’s great, honey” and earned one of my favorite things in the world — her smile. But, as always, the coach in me came out. I always try to have my students (or kids) figure out the answers on their own. “Before I answer, I want to know how much you like it. From a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate this dessert?” She took a bite, and her complexion changed immediately. “It’s not good,” she said. “Why do you say that?” “It’s really dry. And it’s not that sweet.” “If you were to try again, what do you think you would do differently?” “I don’t know. This was an F - A - I - L. Fail.” She turned off the oven and started to clean up. I could tell she was giving up. “Hold on a sec,” I said. “If you were to try again what might you do differently? How would you make sure the cookie wasn’t as dry?” “Well, I probably wouldn’t keep it in the oven as long.” “That’s good, and what could you do to make the cookie taste more sugary?” “Add more sugar?” “Wanna try and see what happens?” “Right now?” “Turn the oven back on.” It only took another 15 minutes to make another batch of dough (this time with a bit more sugar), and things were getting really messy in the kitchen, but hey — that’s part of the process. You have to be a disaster before you can become the master. And I truly believe that. Anytime I learn something new, I try to fail as fast as I can, because that’s how I begin to learn things, fast. The upsides of failure are so much bigger than the downsides — and there’s no better way to learn about something than while actually doing it. Think about a video game. It would be ridiculous to think you could get through an entire game without failing a few times. And if you were an 80s kid like me and grew up playing NES games like Contra, Ninja Gaiden, and Battletoads, then you’d have to get used to failing hundreds of times before moving on. But going through that many trials and errors allows you to figure things out faster, and it makes the one time you finally defeat the boss that much more satisfying. In fact, Dashun Wang, a scientist out of Northwestern University calls failure “the essential prerequisite for success.” Essential. So why not just get there faster? For some reason, in real life, we don’t treat what we do like a video game. It’s probably because there’s a lot more at stake than just starting over. In many cases, it almost feels like we can’t ever start over, so we have to get it right the first time, or else. I’d argue that we have more chances to start over than you think, each time more well-equipped than the last, with more knowledge, more context, and perhaps more support, too. YOUR CALL TO ACTION After making the new batch of sugar cookies, Kai took a bite and her face lit up. “It’s so much better!” It really was, and there was that golden smile I was looking for, too. Yes, we made more of a mess, used more ingredients, and spent more time, but as a father, this lesson was invaluable and worth the effort. I grew up conditioned to believe failure was not an option. Now that I’m a parent and a business owner, I know from experience that not only is failure an option but failure is essential. So I ask you, where are you seemingly holding back because you’re scared of failure, and how can you put yourself in a situation to fail on purpose and learn faster? What’s the one thing in business you’re scared of? Go toward that, because usually on the opposite end of that fear you’re feeling is something amazing. Even just a little mindset shift about what failure actually means can offer a lifetime of learning, progress, and achievement. Go get it. 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