I Am Eating a Very Large Sausage

DO NOT GOOGLE THE CHUNKS  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ​ ​ ​ ​ What's Up, Smokeshow! I'm Ash Ambirge and you're subscribed to Selfish Forever: A humor column about living & working from anywhere—and how to find unconventional happiness in a conventional world. ​ ​ ​ I Am Eating a Very Large Sausage & Other Questionable Life Decisions ​ Welcome to the NEW Selfish Forever! WE’RE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! 💥 Lemme get this pastel baby monster up in your inbox right in time for Easter so we can really ham it up. You’re getting this email because you either: ​ - Have been waiting for the launch of Selfish School: How to Travel the World & Do Work You Love (Without Being a Serial Killer 🔪) ​ - Read my book, THE MIDDLE FINGER PROJECT ([Penguin]()), and decided that filthy titles were right up your alley ​ - You’re actually Harrison Ford. Have you SEEN Shrinking yet?! It’s soooo good. I used to think I wanted Crocodile Dundee to be my dad, but the tides have turned and now it is DEFINITELY Indiana Jones. ​ So, the fam’s all here! 👋🏻 I, meanwhile, am writing this from Lake Bled, Slovenia, where I’ve just eaten a very large sausage. I DO NOT WANT TO GOOGLE THE WHITE CHUNKS. I’m pretending they are marshmallows, even though marshmallows are suspicious little assholes, too. I guess I shouldn’t talk about assholes in the context of a sausage conversation: this is quickly spiraling out of control. Somebody give me some principles. Or at least an ounce of kale. I do have plenty of excellent, non-offal-related news to share though: ​ - I tried percebes in Spain, considered a delicacy. It was inhumane. [My face here says it all](. ​ - My new humor column on living & working from anywhere—and how to find unconventional happiness in a conventional world—will start hitting your inbox this week. HELLO. GREAT TO SEE YOUR NECK. ​ - Selfish School will be launching soon, too! You’ve been waiting with the patience of a farmer’s daughter for this. 👩‍🌾 ​ Selfish School is for you if you want to learn how to live & work from anywhere, with three Selfish Goals: (a) Earn a generous $250K income from anywhere in the world; (b) Work spacious, 4-hour half days; and (c) Travel 500% more—whether it’s to the fjords of Finland, your mom’s house in Michigan, or to eat a giant sausage in the Julian Alps. 🤷‍♀️ ​ More on that soon. (Plus professional advice on how many numbered lists you can fit into one email.) Get ready: 2023 is the year of being SELFISH. Of doing things the pleasurable way. Of finding a different workstyle that lets you have a better lifestyle. Of fucking off to Europe for a few months at a time with your family—Ireland? Switzerland? Italy? Of taking your notebook & a big old stack of books and going to rent a beautiful cottage in Nantucket for the summer—without being an old white guy with a +1 golf handicap and kidnap insurance. Of making something that feels exciting and meaningful and joyful again. Of earning a full-time income from anywhere in the world—even if you just want to return to your hometown in Ohio to plant daffodils in your parent’s yard. And, of finally being able to breathe. We’re taking back the word “selfish.” Because this isn’t about being self-centered: it’s about being free. ​ ​ Ash Ambirge​ Writer Bitch Selfish Forever P.S. Would it be weird if we started calling Harrison, my adopted father, "Harry" for short? P.P.S. I bet he has kidnap insurance. For people like me. ​ ​ A humor column about living & working from anywhere— and how to find unconventional happiness in a conventional world ​ WITH ASH AMBIRGE ​​ + Unpopular opinions about crustaceans + New ideas about ways to earn a living that don't require you to be a sucker + How to actually enjoy your life while working less and visiting Sweden more + A real zest for extreme pearl wearing + Favoritism for bars with scary-ass mafia pool rules (MY QUARTERS WERE THERE, SON) + Zero ambition to be a good girl who bakes casseroles & smiles politely + BUT ALSO: a creepy affection for small-town Main Streets & freshly-mowed lawns + Currently searching for the most livable places in the world + Unbridled enthusiasm for storage units and guys named Bob + Deep fear of waking up and not having any water on the nightstand + Entirely unbalanced accounts of everything, including my morals + At least three Freudian slips around my true feelings about bracelets (They make your arms look like baby wiener sausages at an Italian wedding) P.S. Have you read [my book on living & working differently]() yet? It's a real blast to have on the coffee table when the in-laws come over. ​ ​ ​[Select Newsletter Topics]( | [Unsubscribe from All Forever]( 177 Huntington Ave Ste 1703, Boston, MA 02115 ​