Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Thu, 31 Aug

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Thu, 31 Aug. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Harry Maguire called up to England squad after a string of impressive club performances in 2019]( [Harry Maguire] Harry Maguire has been called up to the England squad, again, after a string of impressive performances for his club, in 2019. [Read more »]( [Man’s feet and legs just about visible beneath massive vape cloud]( [Vaping Cloud] A friend of yours who has taken up vaping e-cigarettes can now only be identified by the sight of his legs and feet protruding from underneath a cloud of vapour. [Read more »]( [New fitness tracker gives the most convincing impression yet that it’s helping you be healthy]( [Fitness tracker] A new fitness tracker has been launched that, manufacturers say, will give a more convincing impression that it's helping you be healthy than any other fitness tracker on the market. [Read more »]( [Man enters 17th minute on pasta aisle in attempt to avoid supermarket ‘chit chat’ with acquaintance]( [Man hiding in the supermarket] A man has entered his 17th full minute stuck on a pasta aisle in his local supermarket today, in an attempt to avoid idle chit-chat with an acquaintance he 'kind of knows'. [Read more »]( [Deadline for kids to tell their parents about all the new stuff they still need for school extended to the night before they go back]( [Child with "things I need for school tomorrow" sign] The deadline for kids to tell their parents about all the new stuff they still need for school this year has been extended to the night before they go back. [Read more »]( [Man celebrating anniversary of favourite album forgets wife’s birthday]( [Man celebrating] A man who actually sang happy birthday to an album was totally oblivious it was also his wife’s special day. [Read more »]( [Google opens new data centre to store thousands of petabytes of terrible smartphone photos of the supermoon]( [Terrible photo of the blue supermoon] Google has announced a new data centre for its cloud storage services that will be dedicated to the billions of truly awful supermoon photos taken on smartphones last night. [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](