Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Thu, 01 Dec

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Thu, 01 Dec, we hope they provide you with a few fleeting moments of respite from the calamity continually unfolding around us. Thanks again for subscribing! [Paddington enters rehab after trying method acting for role in Cocaine Bear]( Popular ursine actor Paddington has checked into an exclusive rehab clinic today, claiming that method acting 'backfired badly' during the filming of Cocaine Bear. [Read more »]( [“This is so festive” insists man stood in freezing cold spending this month’s disposable income on bratwurst at the Christmas markets]( A man is feeling extremely Christmassy today, and having the time of his life, stood in the freezing cold after spending most of his wages on a drink and a bratwurst at the outdoor Christmas markets. [Read more »]( [Anti-virus software sick of your lack of appreciation]( Your anti-virus software keeps reminding you of all the things it has done, in the vain hope that you might show it some bloody appreciation and recognition for all its efforts, you selfish bastard. [Read more »]( [Tory threat level reduced from ‘Critical’ to ‘Severe’]( The threat level from potential Tory plots has been reduced to 'Severe' after a quiet few weeks. [Read more »]( [“Here are some tips to deal with the unprecedented prices we have set” offers hero energy company]( Your energy company has offered you some great advice to cope with its own twisted pricing strategy. [Read more »]( [A selection of NewsThump T-shirt designs]( Have you checked out the latest NewsThump T-shirts? Click the image to see the full range! Copyright © 2022 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](