Expert's Corner: The Secret Sauce for Staying Calm and Flexible Thinking

How our Plinkit experts do it. Learn better. Play smarter. | [View this email in your browser]( Parenting made simpler. Written by experts. Designed for intentional parents. Be a Plinkit Pro Thank you for reading! This newsletter is made possible through Plinkit Pro membership support. Please consider being a [PLINKIT PRO]( if you aren't already, to enjoy access to all our expert guidance and events. Membership support allows us to keep bringing you time-saving and practical child development insights. [BE A PLINKIT PRO]( Expert's Corner: The Secret Sauce for Staying Calm and Flexible Thinking We have the unique fortune at Plinkit of being at the nexus between educators and parents. So with summer kicking into high gear -- read: plenty of family time and a whole lot of togetherness (!!) -- we turned to our Plinkit teachers and experts for advice on staying calm with our children and encouraging flexible thinking. Each time we were in the classroom this year, we saw just how remarkable teachers and learning experts are at navigating all that childhood energy. We wanted to know what's in their secret sauce! And now we're sharing it with you, too. Jam-packed with scripts and strategies, this is one of those emails we hope you’ll bookmark and keep coming back to when the summer days feel long. We’ll also be savoring time with our own families this summer, so you’ll see our beloved newsletter pause for the next month. But we’ve made sure to include our Plinkit Summer Essentials below. (Hint: summer is great for nurturing life readiness skills.) Follow us on [Instagram]( and [Facebook]( as we spend the next few weeks gaining new inspiration, insights, and perspective on early education from around the world. Lastly, to all the fathers and fatherly figures out there, we hope you're wonderfully celebrated today. Happy Father’s Day! What are your strategies + scripts for staying calm when you find yourself getting frustrated with a child's behavior? [Jan Bird - Teacher + Parent]( - Staying calm + even is key. I simply lower my voice and talk in a very slow, clear way. - Sometimes I say, "The expectation right now is that you will..." or, - "That was really unexpected. Let's rewind and try again." No emotion-just stating calmly. - Outlining expectations ahead of time helps a child know what they need to do and when. If it doesn't happen, I stop and try again. For example: - "Right now, it’s your job to ___ and you need to be in charge of your learning." - "It’s feeling hard for me to manage my energy and yours. You need to be in charge of your energy now." - Use your upset voice when you really need it. - For example, "Listen to my voice right now. Can you tell that I'm feeling frustrated?" [Karin Soriano-Bilal - Teacher + Parent]( - Mentally snorkel. - To see the child clearly, I put on my scuba mask and focus on their body, facial expressions, and words. I breathe through my snorkel tube which helps me stay calm and think clearly. I use my fins (my tools) to swim through the situation. - Children need and want to be seen, heard, and understood. - I set aside my own immediate needs and drop into the situation by asking questions or saying what I’m observing in a calm tone. [Dr. Chandler Chang - Clinical Psychologist + Parent]( - Slow your reaction down. - If you're feeling upset, be kind and gentle with yourself first. It's OK to pause and do some breathing or grounding with your body before you respond to the situation with your child. There's usually no urgency so try to slow your reaction down. What are some in-the-moment tips for positively re-centering your focus and energy? [Karin Soriano-Bilal - Teacher + Parent]( - A deep breath with a matching theatrical gesticulation and a healthy dose of curiosity. When I stay curious, I better understand the situation and my child. - Asking, "What’s going on?" can give me a moment to get myself centered and see more clearly the source of the behavior. - Singing my feelings and questions has been a big hit in our home. The more theatrical and out-of-tune I sing, "Why are you yelling at each other?" the better. - The action startles them out of their frustration and into a state of confusion or laughter. How do you positively motivate a child to do something they don’t want to do? [Karin Soriano-Bilal - Teacher + Parent]( - Invite with purpose, rather than insist. Know and practice the difference. They’re both important but can elicit different responses depending on the situation. - For example, "Can you make a tall stack of your books that are on the floor? When your friend comes over, you’ll have space to play." instead of, "Put away your books for your playdate." - Gamify. Setting a timer (or counting) with a competitive spirit for beating personal records. - For example, "See if you can put your shoes on faster than last time. Ready, go!" Or challenging your child to a contest, "I can put my shoes on quicker than you. Go!" - Try asking, "Guess what happens when…" - For example, my daughter didn’t want to join my partner and me for a walk after being home all day. So I asked, "Guess what happens when your body is outside?" After the harrumphing, she allowed herself to guess. Although some of her responses were ridiculous, they got us laughing and out the door. [Dr. Chandler Chang - Clinical Psychologist + Parent]( - If a child is refusing to try an activity in a session, I use the classic therapeutic move of "rolling with resistance" - I stay curious and interested in why the child is making certain choices. - I also use distraction sometimes combined with ignoring the willful stuff. Or, I use unexpected humor, describing the child's actions (as a way of showing empathy). - I might also throw in a 'reward' or consequence tied to certain behaviors if the more playful tricks don't work. A reward could be extra coloring time together, watching a video about the child's favorite animal, or playing a fun game. PLINKIT POST [Sensible Structure for Slower Days]( Your step-by-step guide for balancing play, learning, and structure in your child’s daily summer schedule - with their buy-in. 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