How to Talk to Kids About Disturbing News

During this heavy time, what you could say (by age) and our ABC approach that can make things easier. Learn better. Play smarter. | [View this email in your browser]( Parenting made simpler. Written by experts. Designed for intentional parents. How to Talk to Kids About Disturbing News There is no easy way to begin this week’s newsletter. News of Hamas’ violent attack on Israel and the rising global antisemitic rhetoric has been incomprehensible, tragic and horrific. Personally, I have found it difficult to read some of the stories and to see the images. I am thinking of all the innocent lives lost - of children, of adults, of entire generations and communities. I worry about what is to come. In times like this, I’m reminded that my own children are watching me (more often than I realize), that children see and hear more of the news than we realize, and that both feelings can be true - a desire to want to tell them the truth and a desire to want to protect them from the truth. If you’re feeling the same way, I'm sharing some of our Plinkit tips and thoughts about talking to your child about difficult and disturbing things in the news. In general, I try to keep these five Core Marbles in mind: - Children will remember how you made them feel more than any words you could say. - Focus on ensuring your child knows that they are physically and emotionally safe. - Maintaining connection and providing a safe space for them to reflect, share feelings and ask questions can come in many forms: yes, eye-contact conversation, but also in a big, long hug, going for a walk together, reading your favorite book together, enjoying snack time together, etc. – just being present in the mundane. - Be concrete and specific. Use simple language. (There is no 'perfect' script.) - State true facts. - Use fewer words. Be cautious of over-talking and over-explaining. Children do not need every detail. - Use relevant terminology they might encounter in the real world. - Sit and talk at your child’s eye-level; talk more slowly than you think you need to; pause longer than you think you need to. - Be authentic (it’s OK for you to feel scared, worried or sad; it’s OK for you to not have all the answers). - Show them how you deal with unsettling thoughts, worries and ambiguous feelings. - Actively listen for their questions. Let your child do the talking so you can figure out what they know, don’t know and want to know. You can read more in our handout on [How to Talk to Kids About Disturbing News]( including What You Could Say (by age) and our ABC approach that can make things easier if the words escape you. I also wanted to share some advice from two seasoned educators and Plinkit contributors, Jan Bird and Doug Zesiger, in hopes their words provide you with as much support and comfort as they provided me. When Mister Rogers says "Look for the helpers," teachers like Jan and Doug are my helpers. Amidst all the scary in the world, it's comforting to know that there are people who lead with compassion for children every day and are committed to building something better. Words of Advice Jan Bird, Teacher "This is a really hard one. Perhaps start with something like, 'Kids are safe here, but not all kids in the world feel safe.' Above all, we want to feel safe in the world and we all want our children to feel safe. Kids, generally, do not want to know more than they can handle and are reassured to know that we all find this scary, we're here to listen and we're here to try to answer their questions, and that this conflict is a very hard thing to understand." Doug Zesiger, Teacher "I would focus on our little utopian community (your family, your class, etc.) that although may not be perfect, is a place where we all can speak from our hearts, listen to one another and make group goals about how best to handle conflict. This is a conflict that we cannot control, but we can make a peaceful classroom (or family). I would double down on this point. It is the greatest ambition and honor to create this kind of human society in which we know each other, care deeply for each other, solve the problems that come up and have a really good time as well. I would remind children that they can be a model of how humans can get along. I find this empowering at a time when it is easy to feel powerless. Let's give our youngest ones a sense of agency and competence, just as they are developing it." I encourage you to share this email and our Plinkit resources with anyone that may need support. In the words of my 6-year-old, "If you tell me you're scared, I can be scared with you and then we can be stronger together." As always, thank you for your intentionality and for being here at Plinkit. In peace and love, mailto:hello@myplinkit.com Founder of Plinkit [HOW TO TALK TO KIDS ABOUT DISTURBING NEWS]( Be a Plinkit Pro This newsletter is made possible through Plinkit Pro membership support. Please consider being a [PLINKIT PRO]( if you aren't already, to enjoy access to all our expert guidance. Your support is how we keep things going. Or, [email us](mailto:hello@myplinkit.com) to find out how your entire school or workplace can benefit from [PLINKIT PRO.]( Learn better. Play smarter. [EXPLORE OUR TOPICS]( FOLLOW US: If you liked what you read, FORWARD to a friend. Our content is written in partnership with the best child development experts. No ads. No sponsored recommendations. Just original content. 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