A little kindness for yourself

Something I struggled with for a long time: Taking care of, and prioritizing, myself. Especially since I wanted to be “nice” to everyone — and feel good about how I was treating them too. If this feels familiar to you too, take a second and sit with this advice I gave a while back on a Youtube short: --------------------------------------------------------------- When someone wants your time for free… You can… Give it to them. Refer them to your free content. Say no. Explain why. Not explain why. Not respond at all. All are equally OK! --------------------------------------------------------------- I know, it goes against the always popular unwisdom to, “JUST GIVE…AND GIVE…AND GIVE…FOR FREE!” (‘Cause that’s how you be a “good” person.) Which is why I wasn’t surprised when I got this comment on the video: “How is it equal? One response is negative with lack of any effort or empathy to the other party. The other is sympathetic to the other parties lack of knowledge.” Alright, my friend. Here’s what I now believe, that lets me balance being kind to myself and to others: Sympathy has nothing to do with it. You know I’ll always share what I believe, even if it’s not “popular.” And here’s why I will stand behind this - and all my boundary-related advice - always: It’s simply not sustainable to give based on what others want from you…instead of what you want to give. ‘Cause I’m here to help you build a business (or few) for life . And if you only follow popular unwisdom about giving and giving… What about the time you want to spend with your loved ones and doing what YOU want to do? As you grow, you’ll encounter more people who want your time for free. But if you don’t protect yourself and your time…you’ll find your days gone before you can blink. As Oprah says, “You’ve got to teach people how to treat you.” When you create content and sell coaching, services, and/or courses, what you’re really doing is building a large-scale relationship with your audience. And a relationship where one party only gives and the other only takes is an incredibly harmful one. But that’s exactly what most advice about “just give limitlessly” leads to. Instead, here’s what I like to do: Create — and give — from a place of freedom, joy, and leadership. Freedom from feeling obligated to give what you don’t want to give. (And this is different for everyone. Point is, you get to decide what that looks like for you .) Joy of doing what you love and giving what you want…while having the freedom to do and give it how you want too. Leadership by example — of being kind and giving, but also confident in protecting your freedom and joy. This doesn’t mean you don’t “give” a lot. In fact, I don’t know a ton of creators who’ve “given” as consistently or for as long as I have — almost daily content in some way for over nine years now. So there’s me walking my own talk. But it does mean you do it from a sustainable, relationship-based context. So the next time you feel bad that you’re not “giving” enough, check in: Are you really not giving enough? Or is it simply time to redefine what you’re willing and not willing to give? 
 Luisa Zhou PS - If you’re ready to grow your business, here are the ways I can help… If you’ve been wanting to build a business and leave your 9-to-5: [The 4-Step Formula I Used to Build My Coaching Business and Replace My Salary BEFORE I Left my 9-5]( If you’re ready to go from 1-on-1 work to no longer trading time for money: [Successfully create & sell your own online course for true financial freedom]( And, if you’re at 6-figures ready to scale to multiple 6- or 7-: [Go from Hustling Coach/Course Creator to 7-Figure Business Owner]( If you no longer wish to receive these emails, click here to [unsubscribe]( Zhou Ventures, Inc. 459 Columbus Ave #4049 New York, NY 10024