Dancing with the devil.

Holy revelations from a guilty advertising man. October 18, 2022 | [Read Online]( Dancing with the devil Holy revelations from a guilty advertising man. Cole Schafer October 18, 2022 [fb]( [tw]( [in]( [email](mailto:?subject=Post%20from%20Sticky%20Notes&body=Dancing%20with%20the%20devil%3A%20Holy%20revelations%20from%20a%20guilty%20advertising%20man.%20%0A%0Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.getthesticky.com%2Fp%2Fdancing-with-the-devil) The Preview... You're about to read a list of rules I try to follow when writing advertising for brands like Last Crumb, Celonis and Metafy. After reading this list, you might find yourself wanting to hire me to write advertising for you. If you have $$$, respond to this newsletter or just email me at "cole@honeycopy.com". If you only have $, pick up my guide on advertising and copywriting –– [How to write words that sell like a Florida Snow Cone Vendor on the hottest day of the year]( –– where I divulge all of my secrets for a lot less than my project rate. The Movie... I've always described working in advertising as dancing with the devil. There isn't a damn thing noble about the profession. But, it's a hell of a lot of fun, it's a lucrative means of making a living and, as long as you keep the darker side of the business at arm's length, you can avoid getting burned. I'm generally not one for rules. I live with the belief that there are very few aspects of work and life where rules can apply unequivocally. However, when I first wrote this piece, it was a bit too stream-of-consciousness. So, I cleaned it up with some bolded copy that helps more cleanly outline what I believe to be true about writing great advertising. I encourage a sensational amount of mischief, foul play and provocativeness in advertising. That being said, the rules you're about to read aren't so much suggestions but instead permissions to have fun and misbehave within reason. So, please, misbehave. Don't look at your competitors. Brands are like middle schoolers. The brands that pay too much attention to their peers wake up one day to find themselves acting like them, talking like them and dressing like them. There is a reason that every bed-in-a-box mattress company looks and sounds exactly the same. They're all keeping too close of an eye on one another. Last Crumb looks like [Last Crumb]( because they're not looking at fucking Oreo, Keebler and Toll House –– they're looking at Last Crumb. Underpromise and overdeliver. Men, on average, give themselves an additional 1-2 inches on their height... among other things. What has always struck me as bizarre is why a man who stands 5' 10" tall would lie and say he is 6'. He would be far better off lying and saying he's 5' 9" tall and then showing up to the party as a tall 5'9" versus a short 6'0". Underpromise and overdeliver. It removes pressure on your brand to meet unrealistic expectations and it more easily allows you the chance to wow your customers. You're not in the business of 7-Minutes Abs. In the movie There's Something About Mary, Ted picks up a hitchhiker that tells him about his plans to start a business that competes with 8-Minutes Abs... 7-Minutes Abs. After quite a bit of banter, Ted says, "That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?" The hitchhiker is stumped. 7-Minute Abs is a metaphor for price. There will always be another brand that can undercut you on price. So, don't compete on price. Be expensive. And, don't apologize for it. Hand out $2 bills. There's a guy in the music industry that I met this past weekend at Austin City Limits, who walks around backstage at concerts with a wad of $2 bills. He hands $2 bills out to everyone he sees. There's a rumor that the dude is so legendary in the rap and hip-hop world that Drake dressed up as him for Halloween. Be the $2 bill guy. Find something small that makes your brand memorable and hand it out to everyone. Never discount. Last Crumb charges $140 for a box of cookies. For as long as I've worked with them, they have never discounted their prices. When you discount your prices, you condition your customers to expect discounts. Not to mention, they subconsciously start associating your brand with the word 'discount'. And, what's another word for discount? Cheap. Brag about your weaknesses. When I was writing advertising for [Sunday's Finest Gold Fashioned](, I had to figure out how to sell a $150 pre-made Old Fashioned. This wasn't difficult because the mastermind behind the Gold Fashioned, Robby Haynes, is arguably one of the greatest mixologists alive today. But, when you price a pre-made cocktail at $150, you have to do some explaining. In a series of emails, we bragged about our weakness of being expensive and then we went about explaining why. Inside Gold Fashioned's artisan glass bottle –– that's sturdy enough to knock the goddamn moon out of the sky –– are ingredients gathered from six different continents meant to accent a blend of 15-Year Kentucky Straight Bourbon, 9-Year Kentucky Straight Bourbon and 6-Year Indiana Rye Whiskey. We couldn't get the customer to fully believe the quality of the product's ingredients, without owning our weakness: a high price tag. Bragging about your brand's weakness(es) makes your strengths that much more believable. Do cool shit. While brands must invest in paid ads, social media, email marketing, SEO, traditional advertising and so on... a small chunk of a brand's marketing budget should be reserved for doing cool shit. When possible, this cool shit should go towards making the world a slightly better place. Each year, my girl and I throw an event in partnership with Build-A-Bear called the [Teddy Bear Ball](. It's a retro Christmas Party with food prepared by James Beard Award-winning chef Sean Brock, drinks prepared by Audrey's Chris Chaput and entertainment provided by a line-up of talented artists. Last year, we raised $50,000 for Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. This year, I think we have a chance at raising 5x that. When brands do cool shit they 1). make the world a little bit better in some small way and 2). create an impact with customers that is far more intimate than a Facebook ad. Write great lines. At the heart of all advertising is the headline. For [American Ultimate Disc League]( it was... Own a rapidly growing sports team. For [Celonis]( it was... We reveal and fix the inefficiencies you can't see. For [Ubiquitous]( it was... A match made in influencer marketing heaven. For [Eric Janssen]( it was... Sell me this _______. For [Lightmatter]( it was... Changing the world begins with taking care of the humans in it. For [LIFTD]( it was... Turn your roofing business into a goldmine. For [WriteOff]( it was... Stop losing your ass to the IRS. For [Metafy]( it was... Don't hate the player. Master the game. In advertising, your headline is the focal point of everything you do. So, do it well. To be continued. I'm out of coffee –– we'll pick this up some other time. By [Cole Schafer](. P.S. If you're new to Sticky Notes, you can subscribe [here](. Learn to write words that sell –– $97 If you've got a good chunk of change lying around and you'd like to hire me to write advertising for you, please email me over at "cole@honeycopy.com". If money is tight and you'd prefer to just write the copy yourself, I'd recommend you check out my copywriting guide: [How to write words that sell like a Florida Snow Cone Vendor on the hottest day of the year](. In less than an afternoon's time, I will teach you everything I know in the way of selling like hell with the written word. 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