How to not sound like an idiot on an interview.

The best dough I've spent this past year has been on an 1989 range rover and a speaking coach. How to be interviewed without sounding like a blabbering asshat. Over the past year, my life has experienced this strange shift. For much of my career, I've been doing my writing in the dark, slinging-ink for long hours, in-doors, like a poor man's Hemingway who suffered a bad run-in with a Vampire. However, as my writing has garnered a modest readership, I've been asked to do shit I never thought I'd be asked to do like poetry readings and group writing sessions and podcasts and podcasts and more podcasts. For a good while, I did everything I could to avoid these types of requests because while I consider myself a young, blossoming writer with some writing chops, I've always felt less confident when I've had to open my mouth and make noise. I'd liken it to a swan. Yes. A swan. On the page, I feel like a swan gliding atop a lake. On the mic, I feel like a swan hobbling around on the grass like a fumbling idiot. I decided to do something about my lack of speaking prowess after semi-recently being asked to do a poetry reading of my book [One Minute, Please?]( to a group of badass entrepreneurs sprinkled across Canada. Just to work up the nerve to give the (virtual) reading, I had to down two heaping glasses of red wine. And, while I'm an advocate for whiskey and wine and any substance that'll get you inebriated, I realized that I wouldn't always have this liquid courage within arm's reach. This is when I called [Joe Ferraro]( a podcast and speaking coach that's essentially the Vince Lombardi of the spoken word. I've been working with him once a week for the past couple months and he's already drastically improved the way I make noise with my mouth. Eventually, I will give you all a before and after on how I sounded on a podcast previous to Ferraro and how I know sound today, after having worked with him. But, for the time being, I want to instead make another point... When we throw ourselves into other crafts, the learnings and take-aways we gain from sucking at something new inform our main vocations. After having spent the past month with Ferraro trimming away at the fat and fluff in my verbal communication, I realized how much fat and fluff there is in my writing, too. So, I've begun to do some trimming here as well. You will see this trimming, in action, in [an interview I recently did with Elijah- Blue Vieau at The Influence Agency]( where I was asked to give written answers to 17 questions he compiled. Something Ferraro has taught me (and something I've applied in the answers to these questions down below) is that not every question requires a long answer. If a sentence or two will do, give a sentence or two. (By the way, before we dive into the interview... if you're interested in working with Joe, respond to this email and I will make an introduction. I'm vetting leads here because the man stays busy and I don't want to send a bunch of tire-kickers his way.) Now, let's hit play. Do you remember the first book/film/or song that made you cry? I swapped out your font for Libre Baskerville (on account that it’s a great deal better looking than Ariel). I hope you don’t mind. Now, to answer your question: I don’t. However, I can give you a title to each that has made me cry recently… Book: [When Breath Becomes Air]( by Paul Kalanithi. Movie: [The Family Stone]( (I’m unfortunately a fucking sucker for rom-coms). Song: [Elephant]( by Jason Isbell. Have you ever embarked on a literary pilgrimage? I have not. Mainly because I’ve found “literary pilgrimages” and writing workshops as very good excuses not to write (and the only sure way to fail in writing is to not do much writing). Though, I would love to eventually explore [The Ernest Hemingway Home & Museum](. What is your writing Kryptonite? Whitepapers. I can’t write whitepapers. I won’t. I hate them. I hate them the same way a fat kid hates a stick of celery (coming from a kid who was once reasonably fat). I’ve found that hating an aspect of writing is a surefire way to bad writing. So, I fight desperately to avoid writing the s*** I hate. What was the best money you ever spent as a writer or marketer? Books. A writer who does not read is not a writer. I try to read a book a week and this consumption has led to thousands of dollars in hundreds and hundreds of spines that decorate my shelves like the ornaments on a Christmas tree. I cherish every one. This is the best money I’ve spent and will ever spend. If you didn’t write, what would you be doing for work? I’d be a tattoo artist, a Formula 1 driver, a professional assassin, a painter, a sushi chef, a Shinto priest or a barista. As a marketer, do you Google yourself? Yes. But, only to make sure I haven’t been canceled. Do you have a favorite childhood book? [What do you do with an idea?]( by Kobi Yamada is the best children’s book in existence that every adult should read (whether or not they have kids). Star Wars or Star Trek? The former. Have you ever hid a secret or inside joke in content you’ve written that only a specific person you know would get? Does a bird shit in the air? As a reader, are you inclined toward fiction or nonfiction? Both? Fiction. Writers don’t read as readers. They read as writers. And, for me, as a writer, it’s impossible to read bad writing. Unfortunately, there is a lot of bad writing in non-fiction (save for a select few gems like [Kitchen Confidential]( by Bourdain). Fiction on the other hand… well, that genre is home to the best writers to have ever shit, pissed, drank and fucked on this planet. In your experience, where do you feel most content clients miss the mark? Expectations, communication, lack of preparedness etc. Their material isn’t very interesting. You can’t bore people into reading and you can’t bore people into buying. As a copywriter, where does psychology fit into your bag of skills? You buy something to move closer to pleasure or further away from pain and that’s all there is to it. The rest in regards to psychology is just noise. Let’s take your company and use it as an example. [The Influence Agency]( helps brands put saddles on the mustangs that are social media influencers. While these audiences can work wonders for brands, the folks who possess them are notoriously difficult to work with and wildly expensive. That’s a pain in the ass to manage. You’re hired to help brands move further away from this pain. As one of your email subscribers, how important is your email list to the overall health of your business and personal brand? My email list will generate a Maserati and a half for me this year in sales on my [courses]( [books]( and [moscow mules](. And, since I don’t drive a Maserati (but instead [a beat-up 1979 Range Rover]( this is pretty good for a twenty-six-year-old writer. In all seriousness, running and building [Sticky Notes]( (my newsletter) has been the single greatest business decision I’ve ever made and it’s one of the great joys of my life. It has allowed a kid from Southern Indiana to be read by lovely folks in Los Angeles, London, Tokyo, Toronto, Dubai, Shanghai, Beijing, Mumbai, Buenos Aires, Moscow, etc. It’s been everything. Do you have any favourite “must subscribe” email lists? No. But, I can’t tell you some people worth reading online… [Ben Cake]( (he’s quite hard to track down but worth the search), Laura Belgray over at [Talking Shrimp]( and [Robert Lucas](. What is the most difficult part of your artistic process as a writer? When a client whose only writing experience was an underwhelming best man’s speech back in 1999 tries to tell me how to write his copy. What’s the last ad campaign you saw that really made you cringe? I try not to talk too much shit about advertising I see, even if it sucks harder than some extraterrestrial cyborg elephant with a Dyson-powered vacuum trunk. This is primarily because I respect anyone who is doing the hands-in-the-dirt work of writing advertising. That’s hard to come by nowadays. Most people just jack-off on LinkedIn, bragging about the work they’re not doing. Do you listen to music while you write? Yes. I will often loop the same song over and over again. Right now it’s [City of Angels]( by Miguel. – end – [Wait, actually I digress.]( Did someone forward this to you? If they did, it means you're probably not subscribed, which you can change in a matter of seconds by hitting the pretty black button down below that reads "Subscribe". It's really that easy. Can you believe it's that easy? What a time to be alive. 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