Fark NotNewsletter: It's a beautiful day outside, and Arizona is blazing-hot. So much for politics

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1689961890-30117-22424 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/12930360](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope yo= ur week's been well. The news = cycle is super slow right now. Not sure if that's a reflection of sum= mer, vacations, or a general lack of anything going on. I can usually= tell when I try and fail to come up with a timely Trivia Team name for my = local Wednesday night get-together. Nothing in the national news reso= nates, although team name "Bury The Damn Power Lines Already" from a couple= weeks ago certainly did. We lost power for a day and a half during y= et another wind storm. I'm surprised we have any trees left. Th= e annoying thing is my neighborhood's power lines -are- buried. Appar= ently whatever we're hooked into is not. Thursday 4pm et it's the [Fark News Lives= tream](3D") with pretty much everyone! Christine's back from New Orlean= s, probably still isn't sober. The news cycle might be light but we'v= e got a couple long form gordian knot articles to unpack, including a histo= ry of the Presidential Football, Florida Joker Man, the moron who defected = to North Korea, and continuing assaults by aquatic life. Also it's ho= t outside. ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ = Top Interactions Som= e of the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes = priority over being placed in "top comments." - bos= tonguy and Martian_Astronomer [discussed the sour= ce of religion-based anti-masturbation policies.](3D") - Farkers i= n This Thread [proposed some 'alternative' hurricane deterrents.](=3D" Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week.(The [Smartest](3D")= and [Funniest](3D") f= or the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny: - = ; brap[: "but my date wasn't actually a bullfrog, and I did= n't want any confusion."](3D"https=) - OdradekRex[remem= bered why Kellogg invented corn flakes.](3D") - Hubris Boy= [brought back the cop-cocaine ratio.](3D"=) - olde= rnell[gave advice to prospective Speedo-wearers.](3D"=) S= mart: - August11 [played "spot the grifter.= "](3D" - blacknite[found a good reason to use th= e self-checkout.](3D" - Karma Chameleon [fears a mass exodus of Floridians.](3D") [Politics](3D" Politi= cs Funny: - Fart_Machine[caught a mascot= 's predecessor. Or parent.](3D") - mofa[: "I think= this is some sort of angry message to his parents about forcing him into s= pelling bees as a child."](3D") - Oneiros[spotted= a real-life Error 503 (Gateway Not Found)](3D") Politics Smart: - aleister_greynight[called TFG a(n accide= ntal) truther.](3D" - Bootleg[noticed a politic= ian's contradiction.](3D") - eKonk[noticed the cr= oss change its meaning.](3D") - anjin-san[provide= d us with a photo of the Green Party's supper. Hope nobody put polonium in = the tea.](3D") - Benevolent Misanthrope [wonders w= hat this elite keeps locked in her head.](3D") [CSB](3D" Morning theme = - "[The strangest place you've= ever visited](3D"=)" [Smart](3D"https:=): - chirpy= strong>[shared a vacation story. (Bonus quote: "They clearly were not going= to give me worm-free water.")](3D") - kokomo61[m= et Joe Franklin.](3D") - wademh[committed Adven= ture Tourism™](3D") - Sword and Shield[fou= nd Medical Candyland.](3D") Funny: - johnryan51[was standin' on the corner.](3D"https=) - Brawndo[thought they didn't have a TotalFark membership.](3D"=) = - InfoFreako[saw the infamous episode of the Newly= wed Game.](3D" - Squid_for_Brains[had some real = "Night at the Museum"-tier experiences.](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries from last= week, one per contestant. [Photoshops](3D" - Dodo David= ng>[found the Fark squirrel in the stars.](3D") - Yammerin= g_Splat_Vector[found a UFO disguised as itself.](3D"https=) - samsquatch[witnessed a grandpa deal a flesh wound.](3D"ht=) = - RedZoneTuba['s campers refused to share a raft wit= h the Ugliest Man Imaginable.](3D" - retrophil[t= eleported bread.](3D") - Snubnose[found a superno= va in an apple.](3D") - TrollingForColumbine[foun= d out that Stuart Little is one of those strip club friends. You know the o= nes.](3D") - Herb Utsmelz[remembered that beaut= y is in the eye of the beholder - even if it's blind.](3D" - Thrakkorzog[rediscovered an old cat-based performance act.](3D"http=)= - fisker[got caught in the piles of vacation t= rash.](3D" - whatsupchuck[crashed a Thanksgivin= g photo.](3D" - clovercat['s driver couldn't see= through the flags.](3D" - Creoena['s fire depart= ment put up a badly-needed PSA.](3D") [Captions](3D" No Captions this week, = sadly. [Maybe you could submit o= ne](3D")? [Farktography theme](3D"https:/=): "[Me, Myselfie, and I, Take 2 =](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to share pictures of them (or p= arts of them) that they took themselves. - Deveyn= strong>[didn't commit a Steve Irwin.](3D") - Squid_for_Bra= ins[was in the bathroom.](3D"=) - New Age Redneck[went for a trek in the snow. Snow Trek?](3D"=) - E= lsinore[was washed out by the sun.](3D".=) - gregsc= ott[cosplayed as a Greaser. No, not greasepaint.](3D"=) - = spidermann[- LOOK INTO MY EYESSSS.](3D"h=) [= Upcoming Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Par= ty - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, com= e hang out." [Submit one!](3D"=) Friday, August 4th (or 5th): [Romeo and Juliet a= t Shakespeare in the Park, Buffalo, NY.](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of s= ome of the top headlines from last week. [Too much Colon Blow = causes damage](3D") [Hu= rricane Calvin is on track to hit Hawaii, along with a tanker full of liqui= d propane and an out of control cruise ship](3D"h=) [New whale species discovered off Nor= thern California coast](3D") Michael Burnham has escaped from prison. Starfleet inconsolable= [Bangkok, Oriental setting / And the city d= on't know that the city is getting / The worst construction in the bridge w= orld / In a show with everything but John Roebling](3D"=) [Portland= drag queens set the world record for longest show. In response Evangelical= Christians will attempt a record to abuse the most kids in 24 hours](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz= pan> (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another = fun time on the Fark Weird News Quiz last week, although we never quite fig= ured out the utility of lambskin jogging pants. On the Quiz itself, no one = made it into the 1000 club, which is kind of a blessing because the slurpee= machine is still on the fritz from the margarita incident last week. mrs. badcrumble came out on top with 942, followed by Can't_Think_Of_A_Name in second with 941, and Den= jiro in third with 940. whither_apophis made= fourth with 929, and rick42 made it into the top fiv= e with 926. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about= which restaurant chain was ending their experiment with pizza. Only 23% of= quiztakers knew that Chipote had until recently been operating several Piz= za Locale restaurants in the Denver area, hoping their concept of fast= assembly with custom ingredients would translate over from Mexican style t= o Italian. However, it seems most folks weren't willing to wait for their d= inner to cook after it was ordered, so they're closing up shop. Peyton Mann= ing and his Denver Papa John's locations (purchased just before Colorado le= galized recreational cannabis) could have told them this. The= easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about San Francisco cable ca= rs. 83% of quiztakers knew that even today, after 150 years, the cars are s= till stopped with brakes made of wood. For its 150th anniversary, the servi= ce is opening the doors of its carpentry shop to the public, so if you're i= n the Bay Area, you might consider a tour to see how the cars are refurbish= ed and new brakes are installed on each car every three to four days. = The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which band= didn't get to play at the Saratoga Springs Performing Arts Center the prev= ious Saturday due to a bomb threat. 62% of quiztakers knew that High Flying= Birds was Noel Gallagher's new band, which seems to be doing well as they = were headlining ahead of Garbage. Better than Liam's solo career, anyway, a= s he appears to be headlining for the Daily Mail and not much else. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was also about a rock concert. 93% o= f quiztakers knew that it was Elton John who signed off on the final concer= t from his final tour with "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road". a fitting end for a= great career entertaining millions of fans. Well, except for that appearan= ce in "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" that no one really understood or was re= motely amused by. If you missed out last week, it's a great time to= [catch up on the Fark= Weird News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulation= s once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1689961890-30117-22424--