Fark NotNewsletter: Attack of the Giant Avocado!

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1670442821-30290-33239 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 67238](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. Thanks also to everyone who joined us for our pop-up Xmas movie riff= night last Friday. Dallan was even able to join us since we started a= fter his work hours were over. He's up for doing another one if we ca= n find enough material, and I'm up to 40 minutes as of right now. If = we can fill in with other weird holiday specials on YouTube we might be abl= e to do another one, possibly this week or next. Send in submissions = and we'll check them out. News this week finally picked up pace, th= ankfully. Means we should have a fun [Fark New= s Livestream](3D") Thursday at 4 p.m. - everyone's back, and we'll be coverin= g Guns N' Roses' latest foray into IP lawsuits, cat goalkeepers, and fart t= axes. ________________________ End = Drew transmission ________________________ = Top Comments So= me of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: Exile On Beale Street had a questio= n about [TwowheelinTim= >'s reaction to a sexy Grinch](3D"=) fragMasterFlash had = a simple explanation for [why men te= nd to have fewer friends as they age](=3D" SoundOfOneHandWanking was [dismayed by what was hap= pening at a daycare center](3D"=) Ghost Roach explained&n= bsp;[why people sometimes shoot in self def= ense at someone who's running away](3D") bucket_pup [just wanted a new friend](3D") DarnoK= onrad suggested [one more c= hange to Twitter after the character limit is increased to 1,000](=3D" kbronsito knew how to = handle a storm that looked like a giant avocado on the weather map NewportBarGuy was [du= ly impressed by something Elon Musk had on his bedside table](3D" EvaDewer had [an argument a= gainst increasing Twitter's per-tweet character limit](3D=) Ivo Sh= andor shared [this one weird= trick to increase your credit score](3D"=). Experian hates it Sma= rt: KodosZardoz apparently [sat next to an artist who would go on to produce famous wo= rk that's loved on Fark and all over](3D") OdradekRex ex= plained [a home's unusual decorating s= cheme](3D"=) Heamer discussed [the difficulties of maintaining friendships](3D" zez = thought [the view into Maun= a Loa volcano didn't look that volcano-y](3D"https=) pastramithemosterot= ic knew [why a county sheri= ff was involved in overhauling a school district's school disciplinary poli= cy](3D"https=) odinsposse addressed [the idea that children should be hit](3D" physt = ong> looked at [what work is like for = H-1B visa holders](3D"https://=) DarnoKonrad figured that [some people do an awful lot of talking](3D")NewportBarGuy talked about [people who have perfect credit scores](3D" CSB Sunda= y Morning theme: [Your favorite holiday memory](3D"h=) Smart: jasonvatch [emerged from churc= h to find a white Christmas](3D"https=) Funny: jimjays= rong>' [own words keep coming back](3D"=)= Politics Funny: Psychopusher wrote&n= bsp;[a lovely poem about Vladimir Putin](3D")= Carter Pewterschmidt explained [why Joe Biden should admit Donald Trump was right all alon= g](3D") Stile4aly [compl= ained about First Amendment rights violations](3D" Cake Hunter = strong> [had advice for Trump](3D"=) BizarreMan had hopes for [who's babysitting Trump after the White Supremacist Dinner Party debacle Politics Smart: coffeetime summed= up](3D" Musk's criticism of Alexande= r Vindman](3D"=) unixpro looked at [the people Herschel Walker claimed "haven't earned the rig= ht to change America"](3D") Psychopusher [analyzed conservative humor](3D") Bith Set Me Up= considered [the outrageous = demands millennials are making](3D"h=) aimtastic [didn't think an article about some small-town Wisco= nsin voters made it any easier to understand them](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of = the top-voted contest entries from last week Photoshops:EvaDewer [showed us a f= amiliar logo in a new light](3D=) RedZoneTuba [made a WhiteZoneRoomba](3D") Yammering_Spla= t_Vector [interrupted with an ali= en invasion](3D"https://w=) RedZoneTuba knew [what to do when life gives you ants](3D") RedZone= Tuba found [a fishing spot t= hief](3D"ht=) Wrongo [stole= the lampshades](3D" RedZoneTuba [blamed the cold water](3D" Wrongo [prayed for a singer with a less nasal voice](3D") = Wrongo [escaped the islan= d only to end up somewhere worse](3D"htt=) Snubnose [solved winter](3D") Farktography theme= em>: [Horizontal Orientat= ion](3D"=) Lovesandwich gave us [a peek at Crowsnest Mountain's peaks](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A= selection of some of the top headlines from last week [This story brought to you by Ferfuk Sake, the premium Sake for = when you just can't anymore](3D") [Man shot and doused with acid in baseless attack](3D") [Parts of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Arkans= as under threat from a giant avocado](3D"=) [Coffee could go = extinct. AND SO COULD ALL OF YOU IF I DON'T GET MY COFFEE](3D") [5 ▎ ▪ ▎0](3D") [Felonious monks](3D") [Nabors kills man= at bachelor party with fentanyl-laced cocaine. Surprise, surprise surprise=](=3D") [Aaron Rodgers left Sunday's = game with an oblique injury, as the Packers didn't want to be more specific=](3D"=) [All right Collinson, I know things are tough right now, but we = need you to reach deep down inside and pull out the stupidest take you poss= ibly can](3D"=) [11th Circuit fires Cannon. Unfortunately, not into the sun](3D"https:/=) [Vladimir Poopin](3D"=) [Mexico's planning on a ban of US' genetically modified = corn, planting it firmly in a legal maize](3D") [I'll bet sheep and goats could be the perfect addition to your farm, but t= hen, I like to gambol](3D") Sweep the leg, Johnny. Put him in a doggie bag [Ghoulia Child](3D") [ABEND= a> Fark Weird News Quiz= > (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Anot= her fun time on the Quiz last week, although I didn't get many ideas on wha= t to substitute for acine de pepe. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro= came out on top with 939, followed by WoolyManwich= strong> in second with 934, both topping our modmin Two Dogs F= arking's 928. SoundOfOneHandWanking ma= de third with 927, rogod came in fourth with 909, and = ;peachpicker makes it into the top five with 871. = The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the new business de= al from everyone's second favorite way to lose money after crypto, onl= ine betting company DraftKings. Only 22% of quiztakers caught the article a= bout their new relationship with Churchill Downs, home of the Kentucky Derb= y and rich people drinking mojitos with bourbon instead of rum. The new par= tnership involves a new app to further record everything you do on your pho= ne, as well as requiring bettors to open up yet another account tied to you= r actual banking account for betting on horse races, just to make sure= there's one more security risk for good measure. I mean, the money's gonna= be going out rather than coming in anyways so I guess it's not that b= ig of a deal. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was abo= ut Miriam-Webster's Word of the Year for 2022. 88% of quiztakers had no ide= a that it wasn't gaslighting. I mean, I can't believe they would ever think= such a thing. It's not like we run articles on stuff like word definitions= , I mean, there's nothing even weird about it, and we do weird news here, G= aslighting is not even a thing, anyway, now that we have LED technology whi= ch is far more reliable and cheaper to operate, even if it does cause skin = rashes in laboratory animals. Sheesh, some people. The hardest ques= tion on last week's Easy Quiz was about the definition of "wheedle." Only 5= 4% of quiztakers knew that it meant to use soft words and flattery to persu= ade. The alternate answer, to pare down incrementally or slowly, was actual= ly the definition for "whittle." You can wheedle your boss for a raise, or = you can whittle him a new chess set for his birthday. Good luck on eit= her one. The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was ab= out Christine McVie, who passed away last week. 96% of quiztakers knew her = as the keyboardist, songwriter, and vocalist for Fleetwood Mac. That's her = on lead vocals on songs like "Don't Stop," "Oh Daddy," and "You Make Loving= Fun" on one of the best albums ever recorded, Rumours. I bet you = can't guess from the titles where a lot of her songwriting inspiration came= from. She will be missed. If you missed out last week, now's a gre= at time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D".=) now th= at you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners= , and we'll be doing it all again next Friday.](3D" --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1670442821-30290-33239--