How to Kill Debates and Force Smarter Brainstorming

Use the "rule of three" to make your next meeting discussion truly useful—and stop the damaging arguments. [Coach.me] [View this email in your browser]( How to Kill Debates and Force Smarter Thinking Use the "rule of three" to make your next meeting discussion truly useful. This is a quick little hack that holds a special place in my management toolbox. I call it the Rule of Three. Here's how it works: lots of times, someone will tell you they’ve got an idea and they can’t wait to start on it. But sometimes, that idea sounds stupendously bad. If you just start poking holes in their idea, it usually gets you a defensive reaction, and you look like a jerk. Congratulations — you’ve now picked a fight. It’s incredibly hard for the original person to give up their idea. Chances are, you were so quick to dismiss it, they don't even feel heard or understood. The result? They also won’t take the time to hear and understand your alternative idea. Now you’re in an impossible argument. It's not even a discussion anymore and it’s not healthy. Two ideas is a debate. Three ideas is a brainstorm This is the hack. Instead of rejecting the idea as a bad one (or with a new idea of your own), ask how it compares to other ideas. I just flat out tell people that I want to see at least three ideas. Sometimes they will stare at me blankly — they can’t even think of a single alternative idea. When this happens I start throwing out REALLY BAD IDEAS. Let me give you three go-to BAD IDEAS that work in almost any situation: - We could shut down the company - We could delete the feature - We could do nothing Here's the result: for some reason, bad ideas unblock people. My theory is that people are blocked because they’re trying to edit their ideas to things that perfectly meet their own idea of the requirements. That’s natural—people want say smart things, not stupid things. But when you brainstorm, you don't edit ideas. The focus is on creativity. So BAD IDEAS get the ball rolling. You will very shortly have seven or eight ideas, because nobody is satisfied by the bad ideas, so they start throwing out better ones. Often, people lose attachment to their own idea. Some of the new ideas will actually be riffs that combine ideas. That way everyone in the room can get ownership. Usually, the group figures out quickly that they didn’t understand the requirements. Nothing says “that’s not a requirement” like the boss throwing out an idea that’s missing that requirement. They say you should lead with requirements instead of implementation (at least if you’re in software, you’ll hear this fairly often). But the truth is that many people think in terms of implementation—so brainstorming in this way helps a lot of people really understand what’s important and what’s not. Instead of getting stuck in a debate in your next meeting, try this "rule of three" and see if brainstorming can help you turn an argument into a wellspring of creativity. In Service, Coach Tony CEO/Founder, Coach.me Did you enjoy reading about this topic? [Heavy Mental]( is Tony's personal group coaching experience, where he explores these topics with you as you learn to apply them in your own life. Every Sunday, you get a newsletter in your email that introduces the focus for the week, links to research and resources, and a kick-off exercise. Then, every weekday you get an exercise right in the Coach.me app. You Get All of This! - A new module every four weeks. 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