Newsletter Subject
Feel liberated. There literally is no such thing as best practices for New Years Resolutions.
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coach.me
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coachtony@getrevue.co
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Thu, Dec 30, 2021 12:03 PM
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I chose a Resolution for myself and I went weird. Here’s my thought process. I think these are
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I chose a Resolution for myself and I went weird. Hereâs my thought process. I think these are though [Coach Tony]( Coach Tony [@tonystubblebine]( I chose a Resolution for myself and I went weird. Hereâs my thought process. I think these are thoughts worth applying for yourselfâââalthough I can almost guarantee they will lead you to something different for yourself.
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Feel free to try something off the wall.
A glass half full reframe of Resolutions is that because they almost always fail then that means you are completely free to go wild with how you approach them. There literally is no such thing as a best practice. So feel free to try new approaches in 2022.
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What positives can you take from your past Resolutions?
My Resolutions mostly semi-succeed in that I make a lot of progress but it isnât exactly consistent over the course of the year. For example, my 2021 Resolution was about consistent exercise, but what actually happened was that I was very fit in May to the point of winning online bike races on Zwift.Â
Then there was a four-month gap where I barely exercised because I was bogged down saving a failing home renovation project. And then more recently Iâm back up to my May fitness levels and winning races again. But what I failed to do was reap the benefits of consistencyâââthat would have been building on top of my May fitness levels rather than merely reaching them a second time.Â
My 2020 Resolution fared much worse. I wanted to train for an Olympic distance triathlon but then Covid hit and my pool shut down. By April Iâd thrown that Resolution in the trash.
The positive in both of these though is that they both led me to quite a bit of exercise. Iâm into online bike racing specifically because my 2020 Triathlon goal fizzled. So thatâs my positive: pick something where any amount of progress is valuable.
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What motivates you?
A couple of years ago I started running tests with a coaching group to apply The Checklist Manifesto as a way of life. [Good summary and refresher on that book]( here by [Sam Thomas Davies](.Â
The result is that we all wrote operating manuals for our most common activities. Mine range from what to look for when I edit an article to how to prepare an RV before driving to what to do when I walk in my own front door.
I donât think this Personal Operating Manual idea is fully baked, but Iâm still mesmerized by the promise of living life this way. And for me⦠curiosity is a powerful motivator. Itâs one of my life values.Â
Many people pick Resolutions that are going to be painful white-knuckled experiences. But you donât have to do that. You can define your Resolution in a way that matches what you know about your own motivation and psychology.Â
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I prefer holding myself accountable to a process.Â
So let me explain what my Resolution is. Today I wrote an updated Operating Manual that was focused on 2022. Itâs massive and breaks down parts of my life into 23 sections. And then I wrote out what my goals were for each of the 23 areas, what was holding me back, and what steps would lead to success. As I said, massive, and it took me all day to write.Â
But as a manual, Iâm sure itâs flawed. Itâs wrong in some areas, incomplete in others. BTW, if you donât quite even get what Iâm talking about then thatâs fine. Understanding obsessive checklisting isnât my point.Â
My point is that when it came time to make my actual Resolution I focused on a process.
Every Monday, when I sit down at work, the first thing I will do is open and revise my manual. I will keep notes on what I update so that at the end of the year I expect to have notes on 52 rounds of updates.Â
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Complete change of topic: fascinating deep dive on abusers.
This [set of articles about how abusive people talk and operate]( is drawn from online forums. I found it fascinating and connected it to many abusive people that Iâve encountered in real life. Itâs drawn from parent groups but Iâm not meaning this to be an indictment of my own parents.Â
For several years now Iâve followed blogs about narcissists and other abusers, written by victims of abuse. Theyâre powerful tools for recovery, and powerful testimonials to the impact of emotional abusers on other peopleâs lives. Whatâs been missing is the abusersâ perspective on the abuse. The narcissists I see online donât write about their relationships with their children and close friends; they hardly write about their own partners, except as props in the narcissistâs ongoing drama. I assumed that there was no way to get the abusersâ side of the story, that abusers are smart enough to not incriminate themselves in their own blogs, and like hell would they get together with other abusers to discuss abuse.
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One more thing to consider for your Resolution is hiring a habit coach for accountability. I know most of you haven't used a habit coach before so I'm going to release a promo code for a week of free habit coaching. Look for that on Monday. Donât miss out on the other issues by Coach Tony [Become a member for $5 per month]( Did you enjoy this issue? [Yes]( [No]( [Coach Tony](
Coach Tony [@tonystubblebine]( Tips, inspirations, and knowledge on productivity, happiness, health, and making an impact on our world. Official email of the Better Humans publication on Medium. (@bttrhumans) You can manage your subscription [here](. In order to unsubscribe, click [here](. If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe [here](. Created with [Revue by Twitter](.
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