A handful of reader responses about big goals and such.

Should I have kids? That’s one of the emails I got this week. They were all good, but that’s the bigg [Coach Tony]( Coach Tony [@tonystubblebine]( Should I have kids? That’s one of the emails I got this week. They were all good, but that’s the biggest one. But first, a correction. This is the correct link for the [Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale](. ___ Try a Fear Inventory. This is a good journaling tactic and it applies to a reader response: Two of my big goals are to declutter my head and to prioritize without FOMO. The tactic is simple. Write down all of your anxieties, big and small. The key to doing this is to get the little ones too. These are all mental clutter and often a big contributor to FOMO. So if I were to do that right now I’d include small anxieties like that I’ll make a typo in this newsletter and bigger anxieties like that my house won’t be ready in time to host Thanksgiving. Also climate change, economic collapse, pandemic… get them all out of your head and into a journal entry. ___ What is social media doing to our ability to focus? One of my recent challenges is my ability to read for long periods of time no matter how much I try, The thing is when I was younger I could read for many hours without getting tired. I don’t know why I am failing in that area recently and it is really devastating. I’m in conversation with this person so I’m not sure yet what the underlying issue and solutions will be. My first reaction was to wonder if there are unrealistic expectations. A lot of people believe they _should_ be able to focus for 8 hours at a time and that’s not realistic. But… the thing is that this person is also reporting a change. So what would change your ability to focus? For me, it’s social media. I love TikTok and Twitter, but I think it reduces my capacity for deep reading. That’s part of why I’m leaning Luddite these days. ___ A reader tip for focused Twitter. I’ve installed the [Tweak New Twitter]( chrome extension. This ensures Twitter doesn’t change the algorithm to show you top tweets first. Instead, you always get to see the latest tweets. Plus, no trending, whom to follow, and other widgets on the right side. ___ Opting out of having kids. This reader question is very related to the idea of giving yourself permission to be yourself. The biggest test of this is when being yourself is at odds with a fundamental cultural norm. Having kids is one of the biggest cultural norms. I’ve been struggling a lot with whether or not I want kids. Most of my friends either have kids, are actively trying, or haven’t had a primary partner where it would make sense… I don’t know that many couples that actively decided not to. I think you are in that latter camp…? Would you be willing to talk about it sometime? ___ People who decide to have kids are most often doing something beautiful and exactly right for them. I just happen to have not wanted them and neither did my partner. Perhaps that’s why we are partnered. It’s hard to talk about being child-free without coming across as being anti-child. The nuance is that I love being child-free but I wouldn’t recommend it. What I do recommend is being authentic to yourself. Are any of you on the fence about opting out of a similarly large cultural norm? ___ If you like this newsletter, [please share it on Twitter]( so that other people can be inspired and informed. Don’t miss out on the other issues by Coach Tony [Become a member for $5 per month]( Did you enjoy this issue? [Yes]( [No]( [Coach Tony]( Coach Tony [@tonystubblebine]( Tips, inspirations, and knowledge on productivity, happiness, health, and making an impact on our world. Official email of the Better Humans publication on Medium. (@bttrhumans) You can manage your subscription [here](. In order to unsubscribe, click [here](. If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe [here](. Created with [Revue by Twitter](.