Don’t you dare disparage a doughnut

In which we find out a staffer’s dark secret.  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ [View this email in your browser]( [bon appetit](  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌   Don’t have a meltdown But if you’re in New York, your favorite ice cream truck might be in trouble with the city for [not paying its parking fines](. They’re calling it “Operation Meltdown.” Above, live footage of me at the beach when someone’s Bluetooth speaker keeps losing connection.   Hello Joe, my old friend I updated my ongoing list of every new Trader Joe’s product this week, which meant I had to microwave an egg-and-cauliflower frittata, make protein pancakes, and consume more coconut cream than usual. And as usual, there’s good, bad, and frittata out there. But I would never, ever lie to you. Read it: [Trader Joe’s newest products, reviewed](I updated my ongoing list of every new Trader Joe’s product this week, which meant I had to microwave an egg-and-cauliflower frittata, make protein pancakes, and consume more coconut cream than usual. And as usual, there’s good, bad, and frittata out there. But I would never, ever lie to you. Read it: Trader Joe’s newest products, reviewed)   Makin’ biscuits Sometimes my cat does that cute thing where he kneads the quilt on my bed and we call that “making biscuits.” However, last weekend, I made real biscuits and they were equally delightful. I will ONLY make BA’s Best Buttermilk Biscuits because I belong to the Congregation of Claire Saffitz and hers is a foolproof recipe. The dough gets blitzed in a food processor so your own hands don’t mess it up, then her instructions for stacking the dough in squares ensures layers of flakes so defined you could read them like a book. Serve with jam. Use the rest of the buttermilk for [green goddess](. Get the recipe: [BA’s Best Buttermilk Biscuits](   Scallop on a stick Another thing I cooked last weekend was grilled scallops—Andy Baraghani’s new recipe makes it easy (put ‘em on a stick), and I have a weakness for the lime mayonnaise served underneath. It reminds me of the story about the princess and the pea. Hey lady, what’s with all the mattresses? You could be sleeping on a bed of soft LIME MAYONNAISE. I grilled corn on the side and smothered the lime mayo on that too. I slept soundly that night. Get the recipe: [Grilled Scallops with Nori, Ginger, and Lime](   Dolly can do whatever she wants The humanitarian, style icon, and musical artist Dolly Parton told the [New York Times]( this week that she prefers to travel by bus, sleep in her makeup, and pack her favorite snacks from home. That includes...canned meats, like Vienna Sausages, a.k.a. the stubby meat fingers I remember my cousin in Texas eating with her own stubby fingers, straight from the stubby can. Thankfully for Dolly, she can do whatever she wants and I will never, ever judge her for it. Thank you Dolly, for your gifts to the world!!!   Speaking of great artists I went to an exhibit on [Frida Kahlo’s life and work at the Brooklyn Museum]( last month and a small display of her perfume bottles caught my eye. The perfumes, like her shoe and clothing collection, are symbolic of Kahlo’s self-shaping, the image of herself painted by herself (on canvas and in real life). Then Kahlo reused her Chanel No. 5 bottles as flasks, filling them with tequila. She wasn’t a lush—she drank the tequila, reportedly, to ease the pain in her leg from an earlier car accident—but there’s something beautiful and defiant about drinking it from the expensive glass perfume bottle. I’m gonna think about that for a while. Good listen [In a recent episode of Planet Money](, Sarah Gonzalez looks into the rise of dollar stores, which are popping up in rural areas at an alarming pace. In the Oklahoma town she visits, there were 11, some right across the street from each other. Eleven! I had no idea dollar stores make so much more of a profit than grocery stores (packaged goods make more $$ than fresh produce), and that the effect can be devastating on public health. A great, great episode. Unnecessary food meme of the week   Unnecessary food food of the week   Carla Lalli Music saw something that filled her with horror, shock, and shame. Why was Brad Leone sliding doughnut hole dough into the trash? Those could be FUTURE DOUGHNUT HOLES. “To be honest with you,” Brad confessed to Carla during a break from filming a doughnut recipe, “I don’t even care about doughnuts that much!” Carla’s eyes scanned all the cans of Cupcake Sauvignon Blanc on my desk, recalling the scene: “That’s some f*cked up sh*t,” she said. (Pretty sure she was talking about the doughnut holes.) “I don’t hate ‘em,” Brad said in a video response since I was not allowed on-set during a shoot, “I just would rather have the doughnut. I didn’t need ‘em. You wanted it out? There you go!” When the rest of the staff heard about Brad’s dark side, a hush came over the room. “That’s not allowed,” said Hilary Cadigan. “Why does he cut out the hole at all?” asked Amiel Stanek. “Why not just leave it there? It doesn’t make any SENSE. Is he throwing it away as an offering?” Aliza Abarbanel crossed her arms in indignation and said: “Other people deserve those holes.”  Yeah, me. Have a holy weekend, Alex Beggs Senior staff writer GET THE MAGAZINE [bon appetit]( [SUBSCRIBE]( Follow Us [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Instagram]( [Pinterest]( This e-mail was sent to you by Bon Appétit. To ensure delivery to your inbox (not bulk or junk folders), please add our e-mail address, bonappetit@newsletters.bonappetit.com, to your address book. View our [Privacy Policy]( | [Unsubscribe]( Copyright © Condé Nast 2019. One World Trade Center, New York, NY 10007. All rights reserved.