Whose memories define us?

Also: The dad I had, and the dad I deserve [Donate ❤️]( [View in Browser](  June 11, 2023 Dear Cog reader, In February, we got an email from our WBUR newsroom colleague, Simón Rios. He had a source, a mom to a teenager, whose son had written a poem and would we be willing to read it? “Of course,” we said, “send it over” – with no expectation whatsoever about publishing the poem. And then we read Ethan Maggio’s 25-line verse. Ethan, 16, lives with his family in Cambridge. When he was 9 years old, his grandfather, Hugo Palavicino, was diagnosed with dementia. A few years later, it was full-blown Alzheimer’s. When his humanities teacher assigned a poem, Ethan decided to write about his Papi. He wanted to capture the experience of being his grandson during this time, when his grandfather is – and isn’t – himself. Cog doesn’t generally publish poetry, but we made an exception this time. Cog editor Sara Shukla worked with Ethan to craft an essay to go along with the poem and put it in context. She asked him to describe his grandfather before he fell ill and to help our readers understand their relationship, which was full of love and affection. What resulted is very much [a meditation on the notion of memory](. “Does his essence as a person stem from my memories, or are his memories ultimately what define him?” Ethan asks in the essay. The insight and empathy with which Ethan writes about his grandfather’s illness – and his role as a caretaker – would be extraordinary coming from someone twice his age, let alone a teenager who just completed his sophomore year of high school. Memory was an unintentional theme for Cog this week. Ellen Braaten wrote a beautiful piece about the item she misses most after losing everything in a [six-alarm house fire](. And in an essay about the family we’re born to, and the one we find our way to, Jason Prokowiew shares a story about [coming out to his father at 16](. Thank you for reading, Cloe Axelson Senior Editor, Cognoscenti [Follow]( Support the news   Must Reads [My two dads: The one I had, and the one I deserve]( Jason Prokowiew grew up with a father whose love felt complicated, but when he married his husband, he gained a father who showed care unconditionally. He writes that it didn’t take long for him to embrace what his father-in-law offered: "In fact, I think I’d always wanted something like it, and when I found it, it felt like home." [Read more.]( [My two dads: The one I had, and the one I deserve]( Jason Prokowiew grew up with a father whose love felt complicated, but when he married his husband, he gained a father who showed care unconditionally. 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He writes that his memories of his grandfather, and the love and affection they evoke, are as real as the devastation of what’s happening now. [Read more.]( [‘Papi’ is the person I remember — the one from my memories]( When Ethan Maggio’s 10th grade teacher asked him to write a poem, he knew he wanted to explore his feelings about his grandfather’s Alzheimer’s disease. He writes that his memories of his grandfather, and the love and affection they evoke, are as real as the devastation of what’s happening now. [Read more.]( [I lost everything in a house fire. What do I miss the most? An old mug]( "No, I don’t miss the physical presence of the mug," writes Ellen Baaten. "I miss an object that gave me a sense of permanence while everything around me kept changing." [Read more.]( [I lost everything in a house fire. What do I miss the most? An old mug]( "No, I don’t miss the physical presence of the mug," writes Ellen Baaten. "I miss an object that gave me a sense of permanence while everything around me kept changing." [Read more.]( [Private jets are a climate disaster. Hanscom shouldn’t allow more]( If Hanscom Field in Bedford brings in more private jets, the increased pollution could negate the state's work to reduce greenhouse gases, writes Sabine von Mering. [Read more.]( [Private jets are a climate disaster. Hanscom shouldn’t allow more]( If Hanscom Field in Bedford brings in more private jets, the increased pollution could negate the state's work to reduce greenhouse gases, writes Sabine von Mering. [Read more.]( What We're Reading "Unlike her, I could live another way. I left with the imprint of her hand in mine, her words in my ears, saying out loud what I did not know I needed to hear. My grandmother, perhaps more than any other person, wished for me to set out to do what I wished with my own life, body, and mind." "[Lady Vols Country]( Oxford American. "If you can’t be too rich or too thin, it turns out, you might have to be rich to be thin." "[I lost 40 pounds on Ozempic. But I’m left with even more questions]( The Washington Post. "There’s nowhere to escape the smoke. Sixty percent of the pollution from American wildfires is experienced by people living outside the state in which the trees are actually burning." "[As Smoke Darkens the Sky, the Future Becomes Clear]( The New York Times. "My father eventually said he’d support me in everything 'but this' — this being who I was." — Jason Prokowiew, "[My two dads: The one I had, and the one I deserve]( ICYMI [A new miniseries has reminded me — again — that the Holocaust was not 'long ago or far away']( Nazis murdered Julie Brill’s grandfather at a labor camp in 1941. As a child, Brill was consumed with trying to understand the Holocaust, and read several books about it, including Anne Frank's "The Diary of a Young Girl." Now, thanks to a new miniseries, she’s dreaming of Anne again. [Read more.]( [A new miniseries has reminded me — again — that the Holocaust was not 'long ago or far away']( Nazis murdered Julie Brill’s grandfather at a labor camp in 1941. As a child, Brill was consumed with trying to understand the Holocaust, and read several books about it, including Anne Frank's "The Diary of a Young Girl." Now, thanks to a new miniseries, she’s dreaming of Anne again. [Read more.]( If you’d like to write for Cognoscenti, send your submission, pasted into your email and not as an attachment, to opinion@wbur.org. Please tell us in one line what the piece is about, and please tell us in one line who you are. 😎 Forward to a friend. They can sign up [here](. 📣 Give us your feedback: newsletters@wbur.org 📧 Get more WBUR stories sent to your inbox. [Check out all of our newsletter offerings.]( Support the news     Want to change how you receive these emails? Stop getting this newsletter by [updating your preferences.](  I don't want to hear from WBUR anymore. 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