"With no regrets”

Also: On the Charles River at dawn, we're all in the same "Breakfast Club" [View in browser](    [❤️]( October 23, 2022 Dear Cog reader, I write with some sad news to share this Sunday: [Grace Segran]( the contributor who [wrote so beautifully]( about her [battle]( with late-stage [breast cancer]( died on Oct. 10. She was 65 years old. I knew Grace didn’t have a lot of time left, and yet her passing caught me by surprise. We were working together on a longer-term project about what it means to face the end of your life. I’d emailed her only a day or two before she passed. On Wednesday, I received an email from her son-in-law, Ben. Enclosed was a beautiful essay written by Grace’s daughter, Liz, her “Bessie.” With Liz’s permission, we’re sharing some of those words with you today, as readers who also knew and appreciated Grace’s work. “On Friday, three days before my mother passed away, I sat by her bedside,” Liz writes. “It was sunset, her favorite time of day. ‘Mom, you have had a spectacular life, I said. ‘All the places you’ve lived. All the places you visited.’ She opened her eyes for a second and said, ‘Yes. That’s why I have no regrets.’” Grace, who was born in a small town in Malaysia, lived in 11 countries throughout her life. She married her childhood sweetheart, Raja, at 23, and had Liz a few years later. When Raja died, unexpectedly, more than a decade ago she “refused to give up on life, even after she lost the person that gave it the most meaning,” Liz explains. “She mourned my father, but continued to marvel at the vast, interesting world she continued to inhabit.” Grace Segran with her daughter Elizabeth and her two children Lily and Ella. (Jesse Costa/WBUR) Liz spent many hours with mom in her final months, often accompanied by her young granddaughters, Ella and Lily, who Grace adored. They cooked together and went out to lunch and played board games and took roadtrips to her mom’s favorite towns. Here’s the last part of Liz’s essay in full: The Friday before she died, she started feeling like it was hard to move her body and that scared her. So I lay next to her that weekend, our heads on the same pillow. A health aide, Beverly, came to help, massaging my mother’s legs and arms, offering her teaspoons of ginger tea, stroking her forehead. On Monday, when my mother’s pastor came to visit, she told him she was ready to go home. And an hour later she was gone. The last six months were beautiful. My mother wanted everyone to know that hospice can be a gift, a chance to do your favorite things one last time and properly say goodbye to those you love. In watching her die, my mother taught me something important. You don’t get to decide how many days you have in this life. Your only job is to be a good steward of each moment. So live with passion. Explore every fascinating inch of this world that you can. Savor good food. Love well. And when your time is over, let go gracefully, with no regrets.” Working with Grace is an experience that will stay with me always, as a journalist and a human. I want to give Grace the final word, from the [last essay she published]( with us in mid-August: “I don’t know when the window will close. None of us do, really. But I am cherishing every moment while it lasts. I'm at peace and ready to slip away, knowing I have loved and am loved.” P.S.— If you'd like to share how Grace's writing influenced your own perspective on grappling with the inevitable, please reply to this email. We will be sure to share your reflections with her family. Thank you for reading, Cloe Axelson Editor, Cognoscenti [Follow]( Support the news   Must Reads [On the Charles River at dawn, we're all in the same 'Breakfast Club']( As I get more fit, my age feels like wisdom, as long as I stretch first, writes Bethany Ericson. I may have needed to be in my 50s to have the openness I have brought to the boat. [Read more.]( [On the Charles River at dawn, we're all in the same 'Breakfast Club']( As I get more fit, my age feels like wisdom, as long as I stretch first, writes Bethany Ericson. I may have needed to be in my 50s to have the openness I have brought to the boat. 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[Join us.]( [Come to Cognoscenti's 10th anniversary celebration!]( As you know, WBUR is celebrating Cog's 10th birthday this fall. We’re hosting a very special event at CitySpace on Tuesday, Oct. 25 — and a limited number of tickets are still available. Come raise a glass to 10 years of Cog and meet some of your favorite contributors. [Join us.]( If you’d like to write for Cognoscenti, send your submission, pasted into your email and not as an attachment, to opinion@wbur.org. Please tell us in one line what the piece is about, and please tell us in one line who you are. 😎 Forward to a friend. They can sign up [here](. 📣 Give us your feedback: newsletters@wbur.org 📧 Get more WBUR stories sent to your inbox. [Check out all of our newsletter offerings.]( Support the news     Want to change how you receive these emails? Stop getting this newsletter by [updating your preferences.](  I don't want to hear from WBUR anymore. 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