"Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever"

Also: Until our armed forces address a legacy of assault, I won't be celebrating Veterans Day [View in browser](    [❤️]( November 14, 2021 Dear Cog reader, When Grace Segran got her first breast cancer diagnosis, some 20 years ago, she was determined to stay hopeful for her daughter, who was 15 at the time. The diagnosis that first time was Stage 2B breast cancer, and Grace survived. But now, the diagnosis is much worse – metastatic cancer, Stage 4, terminal – and Grace isn’t sure what, or even if, she should tell Ella, her 5-year-old granddaughter. She doesn’t want to change the tenor of their relationship in her final months or burst Ella’s world of sweet innocence. “Maybe she sees death as temporary and reversible. Is there anything wrong with that?” Grace wonders. “What if I break her heart? And that pain reflected on her face breaks mine?” [As you’ll read]( Grace resolves not to tell her young granddaughter what’s to come. She writes that she’s a coward for not speaking of death. We wrote Grace a note this week, after the piece was published, to register our disagreement with that conclusion. The essay she’s written will live on, long after she’s gone – a courageous testimony to the love and connection she and Ella share. What a gift. We also had a compelling piece by [U.S. Army veteran Aurora Daniel]( about ending the legacy of sexual assault in the armed services. Daniel enlisted at 17 years old and had great success quickly, earning two achievement medals, winning a promotion to the rank of specialist and completing Airborne School to become a paratrooper. But there was incredible darkness, too. As Daniel describes in the essay, they endured sexual harassment and sexual assault for nearly the entirety of the experience. Daniel never reported the incidents, because they saw no repercussions meted out to abusers, while survivors faced a backlash for reporting. Daniel calls on U.S. Congress to pass already drafted federal legislation that would move sexual assault cases outside the military chain of command (where they are currently decided) and into the civilian legal system. We’ll see you next week. Cloe Axelson Editor, Cognoscenti [Follow]( Support the news   Must Reads ['Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever': A grandmother wonders how to say goodbye]( Writer Grace Segran was diagnosed earlier this year with incurable breast cancer. Her time with her granddaughter is short. [Read more.]( ['Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever': A grandmother wonders how to say goodbye]( Writer Grace Segran was diagnosed earlier this year with incurable breast cancer. Her time with her granddaughter is short. [Read more.]( [Until our armed forces address a legacy of assault, I won't be celebrating Veterans Day]( I have deeply complicated feelings about my time in the service, writes Aurora Daniel. It's a time that includedboth the best and worst experiences of my life. [Read more.]( [Until our armed forces address a legacy of assault, I won't be celebrating Veterans Day]( I have deeply complicated feelings about my time in the service, writes Aurora Daniel. It's a time that includedboth the best and worst experiences of my life. [Read more.]( [In my mother's garden]( Conditions don’t have to be perfect for plants to flourish, or for people either, writes Kate Peltz. [Read more.]( [In my mother's garden]( Conditions don’t have to be perfect for plants to flourish, or for people either, writes Kate Peltz. [Read more.]( [The 'manufactured cynicism' infecting our politics]( By failing to call out the modern Republican Party’s animating principle of militant obstructionism, writes Steve Almond, the news media is deep in the business of stoking division in our politics. [Read more.]( [The 'manufactured cynicism' infecting our politics]( By failing to call out the modern Republican Party’s animating principle of militant obstructionism, writes Steve Almond, the news media is deep in the business of stoking division in our politics. [Read more.]( [Congratulations, Mayor-elect Wu. Now could you please rethink free transit?]( Making the MBTA free is a bad idea, writes Rich Barlow. More than a few transportation experts question its wisdom. So should Wu. [Read more.]( [Congratulations, Mayor-elect Wu. Now could you please rethink free transit?]( Making the MBTA free is a bad idea, writes Rich Barlow. More than a few transportation experts question its wisdom. So should Wu. [Read more.]( What We're Reading "Rather than getting the weather you like, another strategy is to like the weather you get… If all else fails, you can simply give up and decide to stop complaining." "[What Winter-Haters Get Wrong]( The Atlantic "In conversations with leaders at companies in a broad variety of industries — the people charged with making the ultimate call — the consensus was that there was no consensus." "[What Bosses Really Think About the Future of the Office]( The New York Times "If you are an American with average commute time, you would spend about 250 hours in transit each year — that adds up to more than 10 days. By the end of your career, you might spend nearly a year of life commuting." "[How much of your life will you lose by going back to the office?]( The Washington Post'Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever' "Conditions don’t have to be perfect for plants to flourish, or for people either." — Kate Peltz, "[In my mother's garden]( ICYMI [Unlearning the 'rules' about what a leader looks like]( For the first time in 200 years, Boston's mayor elect is not a white man. The idea has taken some getting used to, writes Neema Avashia, even for people of color. [Read more.]( [Unlearning the 'rules' about what a leader looks like]( For the first time in 200 years, Boston's mayor elect is not a white man. The idea has taken some getting used to, writes Neema Avashia, even for people of color. [Read more.]( If you’d like to write for Cognoscenti, send your submission, pasted into your email and not as an attachment, to opinion@wbur.org. Please tell us in one line what the piece is about, and please tell us in one line who you are. 😎 Forward to a friend. They can sign up [here](. 📣 Give us your feedback: newsletters@wbur.org 📧 Get more WBUR stories sent to your inbox. [Check out all of our newsletter offerings.]( Support the news     Want to change how you receive these emails? Stop getting this newsletter by [updating your preferences.](  I don't want to hear from WBUR anymore. Unsubscribe from all WBUR editorial newsletters [here.](  Interested in learning more about corporate sponsorship? [Click here.]( Copyright © 2021 WBUR-FM, All rights reserved.