A season of transitions

Also: What would Alice Marble think of today's US Open? [❤️ Donate]( [View in Browser]( September 8, 2024  Dear Cog reader, When I was 25, and living in Brooklyn, I had an experience some might graciously describe as "being in your 20s." (The less charitable might use the term "quarter-life crisis.") I quit my job, declared my desire to become a public defender (I had no previous interest - or capacity - for the law) and took off, alone, to Central America for a couple of months to learn Spanish.  I still remember being in the back of the yellow cab on the way to JFK airport, my giant hiking backpack in the seat next to me, weepy and wondering: What have I done? My parents tolerated, even cheered, my decision, but I can't imagine they were happy about it. I didn't have a cell phone that worked internationally back then, so they relied on my intermittent email communication. I'd send messages from random internet cafes, detailing my travel adventures and language mishaps in 30-minute spurts. Writing this sentence reminds me of the sliced mango I used to buy on the street and eat while I wrote them - it was stuffed into paper thin plastic bags and covered with chile Cobanero.  As exciting as it was to find my way in a faraway land, I was also profoundly lonely. I didn't know who I was without my friends or my job. I had a near-constant headache from trying to decipher a foreign language. And it was bizarre to know that nobody from home - not my parents, or my friends, or my boyfriend - had any idea where I was. If I think about that too long now, it makes me nervous; as a parent, I'd have been a wreck.   Eventually I got the hang of things. I made friends and had an epic adventure with a college pal. My Spanish improved. The night before I met my boyfriend for a week-long trip in Costa Rica, I took myself out to dinner at a bar around the corner from the hostel where I was staying in Nicaragua. I ordered some food, and two bottles of the local beer, Toña, and wrote in my journal in Spanish. By the end of the night, I remember feeling as confident as I'd ever felt. I never could have imagined that moment at the beginning of my trip, but I'd done it. I still think about that night in Managua, and how aware I was that I was becoming a new version of myself.  This time of year is all about transitions. Nearly every student in America is back to school; it's hard to deny the cooler days, earlier sunsets and occasional yellow-orange leaf blowing around. To mark this annual ritual, we have an essay by the writer Alysia Abbott, who dropped off her daughter, Annabel, for her first semester of college in Paris. Alysia, herself, spent time in Paris as a student and she remembers how unsettling it was to be alone in a new place. She and Annabel talked about how unnerving those early days and weeks might feel in her tiny studio apartment. But I don't think those conversations made this big change - from Cambridge to Paris, from day-to-day parent to empty nester - any easier, on either of them.  And yet, as Alysia reminds us, this is the natural order of things. Time is a thief. We raise our children to leave us, and as the years go on, as they get older, it's not really a parent's job anymore to solve kids' problems and make things right. This bit from her [essay]( about what it means to grow up, will stay with me: "You must sit with the unknown and learn to weather disappointment so you can build a sense of home inside of yourself, a home that you can return to whenever you need." I guess stages of life, like seasons, have a beginning and an end, and there's some discomfort associated with both phases. There's an inclination to cling to what we know. But just like [summer in New England]( can't last forever, you can't stop the aging process or live in the same place for eternity or nurture all of your relationships, forevermore, in the same way. Like it or not, we're meant to keep changing. Cloe Axelson Senior Editor, Cognoscenti Must Reads [My daughter begins college in Paris, while I return to Cambridge. 'Home' is changing for us both]( Months before Alysia Abbott's daughter, Annabel, left for her freshman year of college, they talked about how hard it might be to leave home -- how lonely and lost she might feel. They both had a sense of what was coming. And yet. [Read more.]( [My daughter begins college in Paris, while I return to Cambridge. 'Home' is changing for us both]( Months before Alysia Abbott's daughter, Annabel, left for her freshman year of college, they talked about how hard it might be to leave home -- how lonely and lost she might feel. They both had a sense of what was coming. And yet. [Read more.]( [What would trailblazer Alice Marble think about today's US Open?]( If Marble were to attend today's U.S. Open, I can see her strolling through the grounds, insisting on a photo next to the statue of Althea Gibson, erected in 2019, writes Madeleine Blais. She would surely want to be joined by Billie Jean King, whom she coached in 1959. [Read more.]( [What would trailblazer Alice Marble think about today's US Open?]( If Marble were to attend today's U.S. Open, I can see her strolling through the grounds, insisting on a photo next to the statue of Althea Gibson, erected in 2019, writes Madeleine Blais. She would surely want to be joined by Billie Jean King, whom she coached in 1959. [Read more.]( [We can build a culture of belonging - one that includes people with disabilities]( When it comes to disability, we can tell a story of loss and lack, or we can tell a story of the inherent worth and purpose of every individual, writes Amy Julia Becker. [Read more.]( [We can build a culture of belonging - one that includes people with disabilities]( When it comes to disability, we can tell a story of loss and lack, or we can tell a story of the inherent worth and purpose of every individual, writes Amy Julia Becker. [Read more.]( [In a dementia clinic, our work is full of long goodbyes]( As a fellow in cognitive neurology, I coached patients in my dementia clinic on how to say the long goodbye over and over, to different parts of who they are, writes Michael P.H. Stanley. [Read more.]( [In a dementia clinic, our work is full of long goodbyes]( As a fellow in cognitive neurology, I coached patients in my dementia clinic on how to say the long goodbye over and over, to different parts of who they are, writes Michael P.H. Stanley. [Read more.]( [FROM THE ARCHIVES: Don't despair the end of summer]( September is upon us and the fall field crickets are calling time, writes Anita Diamant. As usual, they've triggered the onset of my annual autumnal melancholy: Winter is coming. Woe is me. [Read more.]( [FROM THE ARCHIVES: Don't despair the end of summer]( September is upon us and the fall field crickets are calling time, writes Anita Diamant. As usual, they've triggered the onset of my annual autumnal melancholy: Winter is coming. Woe is me. [Read more.]( What We're Reading "Since the days of Abraham - who, according to Genesis, rescued his nephew Lot after he'd been seized by an invading army - Jewish tradition has placed supreme value on the redemption of captives."​​ "[A Hostage Deal Is a Poison Pill for Israel]( New York Times.  "When the vibes are this good, few people ask about specifics." "[Was Kamala Harris's big interview a success? Sort of]( The Guardian. "Every subsequent movement owes a debt to the metrosexual - from hipsters and their gallons of beard oil all the way to streetwear bros with sneaker collections rivaling even Carrie Bradshaw." "[Remembering Metrosexuality, the Trend That Taught Straight Men It's OK to Be a Little Gay]( Them.   "[Tim] Walz both normalizes and neutralizes the reality of disability, hinting that neurodivergence is a natural aspect of the human condition that affects some people and not others." - Amy Julia Becker, "[We can build a culture of belonging - one that includes people with disabilities](   ICYMI [My only child died of a drug overdose. She's one of 1.1 million Americans lost since 2000]( Substance use disorder is incredibly common - 16.5% of Americans battle it - yet the disease remains stigmatized, writes Nellie King, whose daughter died 10 years ago. We idolize and glorify drug culture while reviling people who struggle with addiction. [Read more.]( [My only child died of a drug overdose. She's one of 1.1 million Americans lost since 2000]( Substance use disorder is incredibly common - 16.5% of Americans battle it - yet the disease remains stigmatized, writes Nellie King, whose daughter died 10 years ago. We idolize and glorify drug culture while reviling people who struggle with addiction. [Read more.]( If you'd like to write for Cognoscenti, please check out [our submission guidelines](. 😎 Forward to a friend. They can sign up [here](. 🔎 Explore [WBUR's Field Guide]( stories, events and more. 📣 Give us your feedback: newsletters@wbur.org 📧 Get more WBUR stories sent to your inbox. [Check out all of our newsletter offerings.](   [Donate](   # # Want to change how you receive these emails? Stop getting this newsletter by [updating your preferences](.   I don't want to hear from WBUR anymore. Unsubscribe from all WBUR editorial newsletters [here](.   Interested in learning more about corporate sponsorship? [Click here](. 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