Outgrowing the place you call home

Also: Why fairy tales are still essential [Donate ❤️]( [View in Browser](  March 31, 2024 Dear Cog reader, I’m an Army brat. During my father's 30-year career in the military, my parents moved 19 times — including seven times while I was living under their various roofs. When people ask me where I grew up, I have no answer. I am the baby who was born in Spokane when my dad was on his second tour of duty in Vietnam; the girl who started kindergarten in Kentucky and finished high school in Connecticut; the teenager who became an adult in Queens. Growing up, I couldn’t imagine choosing one place to live forever. I loved that I contained geographic multitudes. When my husband and I started our careers in Birmingham, Alabama, I told him, “I can live here, but I’m not sure I can die here.” Most people fear change, but it was the idea of sameness that put me in a cold sweat. Like so many people, my husband and I followed career opportunities from one place to another for the first five years of our marriage, but we eventually had kids, found a place we loved and became tethered to the home we’ve now lived in for more than two decades. But two things happened recently that have given me the option to satisfy my wanderlust once again. First, my kids began to grow up and, one by one, move out. The second change was a seismic shift that happened literally overnight: COVID brought hybrid work to our household. Now, as I stand on the edge of our empty nest, I have a lot more choices than I ever could have imagined before March 2020 — and I’m not alone. Your relationship with the place you call home, like any long-term relationship, requires care and commitment. And at various inflection points — an empty nest, a rent hike, a global pandemic— we all have to reevaluate whether that care and commitment is still worth it. We have to do the emotional accounting: Am I still getting as much as I’m giving? Have I outgrown my city? Or, as has so often been the case lately, [does my city care about me as much as I care about it]( Cog contributor [Miles Howard wrote about this very conundrum]( in reaction to a [new poll]( from the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce that found about a quarter of adults between the ages of 20 and 30 said they expect to leave Greater Boston in the next few years. Miles may even be one of them. The concept of home has been on our minds a lot lately. And over the past few months, we’ve asked you about it. You responded with [love letters]( and [micro essays]( that made us proud to call Boston home, in spite of its challenges. We’re so interested in this topic that we’ve built an event around it. On May 30, we’ll host an evening of readings, performances and conversations with Boston leaders about the concept of home — including what it means to live in Boston and find your place in it. We’ll share more details over the coming weeks, but you can go ahead and [buy tickets today]( Thanks for reading, Kate Neale Cooper Editor, Cognoscenti [Follow]( Support the news  Must Reads [Why fairy tales are still essential]( Over time, I’ve come to accept myself as someone who craves a fairy tale, even as an adult, writes Mark Cecil. Whether “The Alchemist,” Tolkien or a talking octopus, we’re never too old to escape into a world of courage, beauty and love. [Read more.]( [Why fairy tales are still essential]( Over time, I’ve come to accept myself as someone who craves a fairy tale, even as an adult, writes Mark Cecil. Whether “The Alchemist,” Tolkien or a talking octopus, we’re never too old to escape into a world of courage, beauty and love. [Read more.]( [The Supreme Court must follow the science on mifepristone]( The case concerning medication abortion currently before the U.S. Supreme Court isn't about drug safety and efficacy, writes Dominique Lee, the president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Massachusetts. It's about politics. [Read more.]( [The Supreme Court must follow the science on mifepristone]( The case concerning medication abortion currently before the U.S. Supreme Court isn't about drug safety and efficacy, writes Dominique Lee, the president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Massachusetts. It's about politics. [Read more.]( [Project 2025 tells us what a second Trump term could mean for climate policy. It isn’t pretty]( Much of the voting public is disturbingly unaware of President Biden’s climate record and the assault that the Heritage Foundation's Project 2025 would marshal against it, writes Frederick Hewett. But in a close election that may hinge on a few votes in a few states, they should be. [Read more.]( [Project 2025 tells us what a second Trump term could mean for climate policy. It isn’t pretty]( Much of the voting public is disturbingly unaware of President Biden’s climate record and the assault that the Heritage Foundation's Project 2025 would marshal against it, writes Frederick Hewett. But in a close election that may hinge on a few votes in a few states, they should be. [Read more.]( [What the Kate Middleton story says about us]( It's easy to talk about a photoshopped picture or an alleged affair and to demand more information, writes Ellen Braaten. It's much harder to discuss the fears of a mother who may not see her children reach adulthood or how a routine doctor’s visit can change the course of our existence. [Read more.]( [What the Kate Middleton story says about us]( It's easy to talk about a photoshopped picture or an alleged affair and to demand more information, writes Ellen Braaten. It's much harder to discuss the fears of a mother who may not see her children reach adulthood or how a routine doctor’s visit can change the course of our existence. [Read more.]( [Boston could lose 25% of its young people. I may join the exodus]( Boston's young residents are wrestling with two massive elemental questions, writes Miles Howard. Can I commit to this place? Is it worth investing myself in this city? For far too many, the answer to both is "no". [Read more.]( [Boston could lose 25% of its young people. I may join the exodus]( Boston's young residents are wrestling with two massive elemental questions, writes Miles Howard. Can I commit to this place? Is it worth investing myself in this city? For far too many, the answer to both is "no". [Read more.]( What We're Reading "I had no idea when I’d next shower, but I could crack open practice problems and dip into a meditative trance. For those moments, everything was still, the terror of my daily life softened by the fantasy that my efforts might land me in a dorm room of my own, with endless hot water and an extra-long twin bed." "[How the SAT Changed My Life]( The New York Times. "[T]he justices — especially the women — embraced opportunities to discuss the medical realities of the pills in their questions, occasionally even offering commentary of their own." "[Periods, ‘live tissue’: Female justices get specific about women’s health]( The Washington Post. "When I was a teenager, the Fribbles were flowing freely and my friends and I gathered at Friendly’s after going to the movies or the mall. When they stopped serving peppermint stick ice cream year round and made it a seasonal flavor, I launched a letter writing campaign." "[In memoriam: Boston’s last surviving Friendly’s has closed]( The Boston Globe. ""[F]or a lot of young Bostonians, the thrill of beginning a new chapter in a more affordable city is tempered by grief and anger."" — Miles Howard, "[Boston could lose 25% of its young people. I may join the exodus]( ICYMI ['When the dragon eats the sun': Why I'll chase the eclipse]( Eclipse chaser H.L.M. Lee will fly to Mexico to see the moon's shadow. The eclipse, he writes, allows us to watch something greater and more wondrous than ourselves. [Read more.]( ['When the dragon eats the sun': Why I'll chase the eclipse]( Eclipse chaser H.L.M. Lee will fly to Mexico to see the moon's shadow. The eclipse, he writes, allows us to watch something greater and more wondrous than ourselves. [Read more.]( If you’d like to write for Cognoscenti, send your submission, pasted into your email and not as an attachment, to opinion@wbur.org. Please tell us in one line what the piece is about, and please tell us in one line who you are. 😎 Forward to a friend. They can sign up [here](. 🔎 Explore [WBUR's Field Guide]( stories, events and more. 📣 Give us your feedback: newsletters@wbur.org 📧 Get more WBUR stories sent to your inbox. [Check out all of our newsletter offerings.]( Support the news     Want to change how you receive these emails? Stop getting this newsletter by [updating your preferences.](  I don't want to hear from WBUR anymore. Unsubscribe from all WBUR editorial newsletters [here.](  Interested in learning more about corporate sponsorship? [Click here.]( Copyright © 2023 WBUR-FM, All rights reserved.