Pardon My French

Depressing expansion and jittery markets... Silver Banana goes to... [image](=) Market Snapshot Equities are down, the dollar is up, and everyone is terrified. We can thank Vladimir Putin for that, as the Russia-Ukraine beef is weighing heavy on equities. As a result, markets were heavily beaten down yesterday, with the Nasdaq shedding 2.57%, the S&P losing 1.84%, and the Dow falling 1.38%. Red as pizza sauce. [Piestro](=) has designed a robotic pizzeria that makes pizza at a fraction of the cost of traditional pizzerias and boasts an impressive 48% projected profit margin. With over $580mn in commercial contracts to-date, you can [invest in Piestro here](=). Let’s get into it. Macro Monkey Says Depressing Expansion — Normally, you would think stocks rise during a period of economic expansion and fall during periods of contraction. However, since the pandemic began, the opposite has been true. As the economy faltered to one of the worst years on record in 2020, equity prices soared, yet ever since things took a turn for the best in late 2021, stock prices have cratered. Pardon my French, but what the f*ck is going on? Well, for starters, it’s not limited to stocks. Flying in the face of all recent data we’ve seen, Americans, in general, are super bearish on the overall economy. This kinda makes sense. However, there’s one thing we will always be bullish on, and that’s pizza. This [robotic pizzeria]() with over half a billion dollars in commercial contracts is clear evidence. See, there’s a difference between how normal people experience the economy to how pale-skinned, nerdy economists experience it. For consumers, inflation is the name of the game, particularly in things like gas prices, energy bills, and grocery store tags. And I don’t have to tell you loyal Daily Peel readers that that’s where inflation has been hurting the most. In fact, consumers are so bummed about the economy that confidence levels are below even where they were throughout the entire pandemic. According to WSJ, the average person hasn’t felt this bad about the economy since the years immediately following the GFC. Wage gains, elevated stock prices, and businesses literally begging on their hands and knees to hire people can’t overcome the misery induced by rising prices. Moreover, heating tensions in eastern Europe likely won’t help cheer up consumers anytime soon. If you ask me, the economy needs a rest day… for our mental health. Act Correct In a Correction — The S&P 500 is officially in correction territory. Both the Nasdaq composite and Russell 2000 are also in correction territory and have been for a while. The Dow is chilling for now, but with only 30 stocks to its name, who the hell cares, right? Anyway, let’s talk about what history says about corrections. For starters, there will be no shortage of journalists, Twitter freaks, and Jim Cramer-esque talking heads on TV absolutely sh*tting their pants over this. Yeah, someone get these guys and gals a beer… time to chill out for a bit. Let’s look at some stats. According to Barron’s, this is the 33rd correction since 1980, and when corrections occur, stocks generally find themselves higher one year following, with the average return in that period being 25%. Markets get jittery, but it’s times like these that the apes are separated from the (almost) humans. Here’s some advice, financial or not; don’t do anything stupid. Solving for Labor Shortages in the Pizza Industry [image](=) [Piestro]() has designed a robotic pizzeria that makes pizza at a fraction of the cost of traditional pizzerias and boasts an impressive 48% projected profit margin. In fact, Piestro's robots have already received [$580mn in pre-orders via commercial contracts](=). And considering the US pizza market will be worth an estimated $54B by 2023 (up from $46B today), you simply *knead* to check out how Piestro's robot works and invest. [Grab a slice and invest in Piestro right here](=) What's Ripe DraftKings ($DKNG) — In complete contradiction to what we wrote previously, it turns out this week would’ve been a great time to bet on DraftKings… with the stock, I mean. Shares continued their post-earnings rally, gaining 5.6% yesterday. Yes, analysts have been slashing their price targets, but they remain elevated compared to current market levels. As a result, most buy ratings are sticking, keeping investors excited. Tenneco ($TEN) — Free money, apes! Well, if such a thing did exist, you might be able to find some with Tenneco. The automotive parts OEM that you’ve definitely never heard of is getting taken private by Apollo at a price tag of $7.1bn. Shares obviously popped following the announcement, gaining 93.8% yesterday to close at a market cap of $6.7bn. On a day like yesterday, I guess there’s not much else to drive wild gains besides an acquisition. Smart move, Tenneco. What's Rotten Moderna ($MRNA) — It was a tough day to be a growth stock yesterday, especially a pandemic growth stock, especially a biotech pandemic growth stock. Unfortunately, no one told Moderna, because shares cratered 6.4% to $135.73. That’s essentially back to where the stock was before saving the entire world with their vaccine. There wasn’t much news yesterday, but it is true that what goes up must come down. Moderna went way the f*ck up, so it looks like now is the time to come down. Just ask Isaac Newton. Tesla ($TSLA) — Elon Musk has had a busy week. From roasting Joey B to roasting the SEC to praising the DoJ, his fingers must be tired from all this tweeting. Too bad he couldn’t Tweet his way out of yesterday’s 7.0% decline. To be fair, I’m sure he could’ve if he wanted too. But aside from the general CEO shenanigans, it was pretty slow news day for Tesla. Investors are likely de-risking, and no better way to do that than selling $TSLA. Thought Banana Disney Forever — Ever wanted to live in the Mouse House for real? Well, soon, the dream that I’m sure we all had at least once before hitting the ripe old age of 13 is possible. Disney is officially getting in on the housing market. Known as Cotino, the 1,900-home development will be constructed in California’s Coachella valley, the same place that legendary founder Walt Disney owned a home. Cotino will feature a multitude of home types, all with the classic Disney spin, including single-family homes, condos, and rich people estates, all surrounding a ginormous lake labeled “The Grand Oasis.” In addition to Disney-fying homes, the community itself will scream Disney at the top of its lungs. Plans indicate the mini-city will feature a similar design to Disney parks, complete with a town center laden with shops, restaurants, and more. Even better (or worse, depending on how much relentless cheer you can take), the community will be staffed by Disney cast members that plan to run wellness classes, perform shows, cook, and much more. It’s an interesting move that I sure wouldn’t have called, but it’s about time the Mouse House is a real thing. Hopefully, these Mouse Houses can escape the tight conditions of the housing market driving crazy prices. But then again, it’s Disney, so don’t get too excited just yet. Wise Investor Says “Luck, is largely responsible for my reputation for genius. I don’t walk into the office in the morning and say, ‘Am I smart today?’ I walk in and wonder, ‘Am I lucky today?’” — Jim Simons Happy Investing, Patrick & The Daily Peel Team Was this email forwarded to you? Sign up for the WSO Daily Peel [here](). 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