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Forbidden love

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Wed, Feb 14, 2024 12:10 PM

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Plus: New Covid guidelines, protests in India, and more. February 14, 2024 Good morning, lovebirds!

Plus: New Covid guidelines, protests in India, and more. February 14, 2024 [View in browser]( Good morning, lovebirds! With today being Valentine's Day, we thought we'd dive into the discourse about the US's falling marriage rates. We've got Jonquilyn Hill, the host of The Weeds, here to zero in on a specific, under-covered element of the situation. —Caroline Houck, senior editor of news   [original collage art featuring a bride.] Brittany Holloway-Brown for Vox Happy Valentine's Day Romantic relationships are in a weird place right now. Sure, I have anecdotal evidence; I could open my phone and see a dating app horror story in any one of my group chats. But I don’t have to take you through the dating woes of DC 30-somethings because data supports this too. Statistically, things are shifting. [According to Pew Research](, back in 1980 about 6 percent of Americans aged 40 and over had never been married. Now that number sits around 25 percent. If you’ve looked at the op-ed pages of any major newspaper, you’ve probably seen the [hand-wringing]( about this [falling]( marriage [rate](. If you are or know a single person, this probably doesn’t come as too much of a [surprise](. But as I was looking at the numbers, one thing did surprise me: just how much lower the rate is for Black people. It’s always been lower, but the gap is now huge. Back in the ’70s, a little over 20 percent of Black women had never been married. Now it’s nearly [48 percent](. Why do Black people get married less, and why does it matter? Forbidden love To answer that question for today’s episode of [The Weeds]( — the latest in our “Black Women And ...” series that looks at how [policies]( are impacting Black women in particular — I spoke with Dianne Stewart, the author of Black Women, Black Love: America’s War on African American Marriage. She argues that policy has made partnering especially difficult for Black people. Her answer centers around this idea that, for a long time, Black love in this country was forbidden — and that it still is. It’s a statement that may feel provocative on its face, but Stewart argues that marriage is a civil right Black people were initially denied in America, and policy hasn’t done enough to catch up. Though enslaved people often had informal marriages (there’s a reason it’s called [jumping the broom](), their unions weren’t legally recognized. Slave owners often separated families through sales, and would choose partners for enslaved people at will. This changed in 1865 with the end of slavery and the passage of the 13th Amendment, but after Emancipation, many families struggled to reunite. As late as the early 20th century, formerly enslaved people were [putting out notices]( to find family members they had been separated from. [diamond rings displayed.] Jackie Molloy/Washington Post via Getty Images How this plays out today While many of these archaic policies no longer exist, their impacts are still felt today, and new policies have contributed as well. The racism entrenched by slavery, for instance, plays a role. Take colorism, the phenomenon of discriminating against darker-skinned people that has its roots in colonialism and slavery. Historically, lighter-skinned people have been privileged because they’re closer to whiteness. That continues today, within larger [institutions](, and also [within Black communities](. In 2009, a [study]( found that for women under 30, lighter-skinned Black women were married at twice the rate of their darker-skinned counterparts and 17 percent more than Black women with medium complexions. For those seeking out relationships with Black men, there are also just fewer of those men in the dating pool. In 2021, Black men were incarcerated at [over five times]( the rate of their white counterparts. Across race, women are earning college degrees at a [higher rate]( than men, making it difficult for women who partner with men to find partners with the same educational background and economic status. Black women make up [66 percent]( of all African American bachelor’s degree holders, and those with degrees are [more likely]( to marry someone with less education. College doesn’t equate to more wealth. The median [net worth]( for college-educated Black households is $8,200; it’s $138,000 for white households with the same education. This problem is exacerbated for Black people when you take into account what Stewart calls “wealth spread”: Black people who accumulate wealth are [more likely]( to spend that money helping family members with less income. I call it the [Teri Joseph effect](. This makes a difference now that many consider marriage a [capstone of adulthood rather than a cornerstone of it](; Marriage is no longer that act that launches you into adulthood, but something you do when you feel emotionally and financially ready. The statistics might not seem great if marriage is something you desire. But if you’re looking for love, all is not lost! Sure, the marriage rate is down, but that also means it was up at one point: Numbers are ever-evolving. There are policies and solutions that could help change all this. For more on that — and a defense of the institution of marriage — [check out my full conversation with Stewart](. [—Jonquilyn Hill,]([The Weeds]([host](   [Listen]( Forgetful old men Joe Biden’s age and mental acuity are center stage after a Justice Department prosecutor described him as an “elderly man with a poor memory.” Vox reporter Christian Paz explains why Democrats are stuck with him. [Listen now](   HEALTH - Covid guidelines are changing: You no longer need to isolate for five days after testing positive, the CDC plans to say, and instead can use your symptoms as a guide. [[Washington Post](] AROUND THE WORLD - Boats are back, baby: From antiquated-seeming [consumer goods shortages]( to [plans for a naval war](, the world’s oceans are the hot topic of conversation. [[Economist](] - Farmers protest in India: Tens of thousands of people are renewing a political movement from two years ago that forced a rare concession from Prime Minister Narendra Modi. [[AP](] [Protesters in India.] Narinder Nanu/AFP via Getty Images ALSO IN THE NEWS - We love a tell-all: This one’s about Ron DeSantis’s failed 2024 presidential campaign. [[The American Conservative](] - If you want to help mitigate my brewing existential crisis: Share an edition of this newsletter you’ve liked with your friends and prove this depressing study about what gets shared online wrong. [[X](]   Ad  [Learn more about RevenueStripe...](   What the 5 love languages get right And what they get very wrong. Vox's Constance Grady digs in for Valentine's Day. [Read more](.   Are you enjoying the Today, Explained newsletter? Forward it to a friend; they can [sign up for it right here](. And as always, we want to know what you think. We recently changed the format of this newsletter. Any questions, comments, or ideas? We're all ears. Specifically: If there is a topic you want us to explain or a story you’re curious to learn more about, let us know [by filling out this form]( or just replying to this email. Your question might be the centerpiece of this newsletter one day or featured in a Friday reader mailbag. Today's edition was produced and edited by Caroline Houck. We'll see you tomorrow!   Ad  [Learn more about RevenueStripe...](   [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [YouTube]( [Instagram]( [TikTok]( [WhatsApp]( This email was sent to {EMAIL}. Manage your [email preferences]( [unsubscribe](param=sentences). If you value Vox’s unique explanatory journalism, support our work with a one-time or recurring [contribution](. View our [Privacy Notice]( and our [Terms of Service](. Vox Media, 1201 Connecticut Ave. NW, Floor 12, Washington, DC 20036. Copyright © 2024. All rights reserved.

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