Why age gap discourse keeps going viral

How age gap discourse became a symbol of the post-Me-Too era vox.com/culture CULTURE   Age-gap relationships have long been a hot topic of debate. Pop culture figures have been chastised for their younger paramours, from NBA stars to rappers to actors — Leonardo DiCaprio is always dating women in their early 20s — and viral essays in the Cut have spurred conversation on social media about what’s kosher. The latest entry into the public discourse surrounding them comes from The Idea of You, an Amazon Prime film starring Anne Hathaway as a "cougar" character in a relationship with a man who is 15 years her junior. Online, we love to argue about morality, but as my colleague Constance Grady reminds us in this piece, society's point of reference is always changing, especially when it comes to gender, sex, and power. —Melinda Fakuade, culture editor Why we can’t stop talking about age gaps [Actress Anne Hathaway kissing actor Nicholas Galitzine]( Courtesy of Prime There’s something about age gaps right now. They’re all over the place. [The Idea of You, out on Amazon Prime this week](, features Anne Hathaway as a 39-year-old mom falling in love with a 24-year-old boy band star, only to be haunted by tabloid covers calling her a cougar. It’s based on a novel of the same title by Robinne Lee, dubbed by Vogue “the sleeper hit of the pandemic.” Meanwhile, over the past few months, the Cut has twice gone viral with articles about age gaps. In December, it published a reported article by Lila Shapiro interviewing multiple couples with significant age gaps. In March came a personal essay by Grazie Sophia Christie about her relationship with her husband, who’s 10 years older. On social media, Shapiro’s report was largely met with fascination and Christie’s with recriminations; both were widely distributed and discussed. In her new memoir Consent, writer Jill Ciment revisits her celebrated memoir of 20 years ago, Half a Life, about her marriage to the man she met when she was 17 and he was her 47-year-old art professor. “Should I refer to him in the language of today — sexual offender, transgressor, abuser of power?” Ciment asks, referring to her late husband, as she describes their first kiss. “Or do I refer to him in the language of 1970, at the apex of the sexual revolution, when the kiss took place — Casanova, silver fox?” The ways we talk about age-gap relationships have changed so completely so fast. They’ve come to be a stand-in for the way [the Me Too movement changed our whole erotic vocabulary:]( Before, titillating; after, abusive. When Taylor Swift first releases “All Too Well” in 2012, it’s received as a tragic breakup song about Swift’s relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal, who she dated when she was 20 and he was 29. When she rereleases it in 2021, it’s received as an account of predatory behavior. Age-gap relationships in the abstract have become a place of talking through our newly heightened societal awareness of power dynamics and the potential therein for abuse — especially when the standard gender roles flip. Frequently, the discourse has almost nothing to do with the people actually in the relationships in question. [Read the full story »](  [Learn more about RevenueStripe...]( Challengers is the best thing that could happen to polyamory The relationship style has been the topic of talky articles and books. Finally, it’s the sexiest element of the year’s sexiest movie. [Read the full story »]( Harvey Weinstein’s overturned conviction, explained by a lawyer A public defender on the judge at the first Weinstein trial: “He was behaving like a prosecutor.” [Read the full story »](   Support our work We aim to explain what we buy, why we buy it, and why it matters. Support our mission by making a gift today. [Give](   More good stuff to read today - [Drake vs. everyone, explained]( - [The AI grift that can literally poison you]( - [How JoJo Siwa’s “rebrand” got so messy]( - [Is Fallout a warning for our future? A global catastrophic risk expert weighs in.]( - [How anxiety became a catchall for every unpleasant emotion]( - [4 tips for dealing with a ferocious allergy season](  [Learn more about RevenueStripe...](   [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [YouTube]( Manage your [email preferences]( or [unsubscribe](param=culture). If you value Vox’s unique explanatory journalism, support our work with a one-time or recurring [contribution](. View our [Privacy Policy]( and our [Terms of Service](. Vox Media, 1201 Connecticut Ave. NW, Floor 12, Washington, DC 20036. Copyright © 2024. All rights reserved.