A New Perspective On Love in 2020 — Dating in the New Year and What You Can Learn About Yourself

Join us over the next few weeks and get inspired for the year ahead as our team of editors shares our healthy goals and visions for living Verywell in 2020. [verywell]( [Healthy 2020 Visions: A New Perspective On Love in 2020]( [Kate Nelson,]( Asssitant Editor Let’s face it, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation, dating in the 21st century is tough. Dating apps give us endless access to potential matches and yet settling into a lasting relationship feels more challenging than ever. As a single 26-year-old living in New York City I am all too familiar with this struggle. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my experiences, it’s that you have to take time to love and appreciate yourself before you can truly connect with anyone else. Clichés aside, I made this realization after reflecting on all the first dates I’d gone on in 2019. First dates are historically the worst—they tend to feel super awkward or high stakes. Upon taking a step back, I noticed that I was expending all this energy on trying to impress the stranger across from me, but wasn’t actually trying to impress myself. You know that spiel you always give when you meet someone new? Somewhere between a monologue and an elevator pitch, it’s our most unique elements of intrigue that we hope will draw someone in. But instead of treating dating like a job interview, I chose to slow down and listen to what I was choosing to share. And guess what? The more I paid attention the more I started to think, hey, I’m actually really cool! Suddenly the dating process became a bit easier, and I was relating more easily to the person across from me. Instead of wondering why these dates weren’t going anywhere, I used these experiences to help me grow into the best version of myself for when the right person does come along. This is the wisdom I’m taking with me moving into 2020 and the coming decade. All that in mind, here are some things I’ll be doing differently when it comes to finding love in the new year. 1. Practice saying no. It’s tempting to be the kind of person who is always available, especially if you experience FOMO, but this isn’t a sustainable mindset. Sometimes, self-care is the best course of action. This applies to dating as well, because you won’t always feel up to going out and you should never feel like you’re being flaky for listening to your physical and emotional needs. It’s easy to reschedule. 2. Go on more solo dates. Take yourself to the movies and don’t share any of your popcorn. Take a long walk with a great podcast. Go to a museum and spend way too much time in the Egyptian wing (ok, maybe I’m projecting there). 3. Be present. I know it’s easier said than done, but this year I plan on being open to connection without feeling attached to any particular agenda or outcome. I want to be ready for love in each moment and grateful for every positive experience, regardless of whether or not it evolves into something more. [READ NOW]( [Personal Development Goals for Your 20s and Beyond]( [READ NOW ›]( [Where to Meet People When You Have Dating Anxiety]( [READ NOW ›]( [The Safest Way to Use Online Dating Apps]( [READ NOW ›]( [How Casual Dating Can Affect Your Relationships]( [READ NOW ›]( EDITOR'S PICK OF THE WEEK [The 7 Best Self-Help Books of 2020]( [READ NOW ›]( Get Delicious Recipes Delivered to Your Inbox [ONE-TAP SIGN UP ›]( [How Do You Live Verywell?]( With new goals in mind for the year ahead, share how you plan to live Verywell in 2020 for a chance to be featured in an upcoming newsletter. [Share Now]( READ THESE NEXT [This Vitamin Can Boost Your Energy]( [READ NOW ›]( [15 Snacks to Keep in Your Desk at Work]( [READ NOW ›]( [How Vitamin D Affects Weight Loss]( [READ NOW ›]( [The 3 Best Weight Loss Methods According to Science]( [READ NOW ›]( [verywell fit]( You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the Healthy Eating newsletter. If you wish to unsubscribe, please [click here.](page=verywell) A DOTDASH BRAND 1500 Broadway, 6th Floor, New York, NY, 10036 © 2020 Verywellhealth.com - All rights reserved. [Privacy Policy](