I creeped my competitor and I felt terrible.

If you deal with imposter syndrome, read this. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌   Yesterday I did a[3-hour Q&A live]( for fun on Instagram and one question I got was about how to get over fear when you're first starting out. This eventually led us to talk about how so many newer entrepreneurs have a tendency to compare their first draft with someone else's final product, which leads them to feeling discouraged and therefore giving up. The truth is, many newer creators or entrepreneurs will put well-known entrepreneurs on their list of "competitors" when the reality is that they are not yet their competition. If you are just starting out, how could you possibly compete with someone else who's had 5, 10+ years of experience? If you are just starting out, how could you possibly compare your solopreneur business with someone else's well-oiled machine? If you are just starting out, how could you possibly pit yourself up against someone who's had years to develop their skillsets, fine tune their positioning, and establish their authority? You simply can't, and you simply shouldn't. Why? Because while these people can show you what's possible, they are not your competitors. So this leads to the next question: Who IS your "competitor"? Who "should" you compare yourself with? While we all think the answer should be "No one", the reality is having other entrepreneurs that we can occasionally compare to ultimately allows us to innovate and step up our game as a whole - even if seeing them crush it low-key makes us fearful inside. So here's what my logical answer was: "The people you should be paying attention to are the ones who have been in business for a similar timeframe than you, serving a similar audience, and offering similar products or services." THAT SAID 😬 ... Ironically, a few hours after I finished the livestream, I suddenly found myself in my own rabbit hole on Instagram... Now I have a question for you: Have you ever purposely not followed your "competitors" because whenever you see their content, it just makes you feel worse? ... YET you still creep them from time to time? If the answer is yes - then I want you to know that yesterday I found myself stuck binge-creeping a "competitor" that I hadn't paid attention to in a long time. And because it's been a long time since I last creeped, I found myself in full self-sabotage mode, spending a solid hour: ... Watching all her highlights ... Watching all her reels ... Clicking all the links in her link in bio ... Reading her sales pages ... and probably a bunch of other things. Does this sound familiar? If so, then you'll also be familiar with the shitty feeling and the imposter syndrome that comes along with it. That's why, {NAME}, I want to dedicate this email to share the exact mindset shifts and affirmations I go through to recover from experiences like these... Because I have a feeling that comparing yourself to others on social media is something that is a common experience for all, regardless if it's comparing yourself to the Giants of the Industry OR your peers who are in the same playing field as you. Let's go ❤️️   👉 Reminder #1: Someone else winning doesn't mean you're losing. When we start feeling anxiety when we see our peers crush it on social media, it is usually because we feel that their wins will become our losses. It doesn't have to be that way, and it's also not entirely true. Whether or not someone else is achieving their milestones (making money, getting fit, buying a house, getting lots of views, etc), it truly has nothing to do with you. It doesn't make you worse off, and it doesn't make you better off. It's simply... neutral. Something that helps me is reminding myself of what my real measure of success is, and realizing that my measure of success is not determined by what other people are doing or not doing. My measure of success is determined by the people I've helped in my own business. My measure of success is also whether I've tried my very best at the capacity and the experience level I have. My measure of success is NOT determined by the number of people that my "competitors" have helped, and is also NOT determined by what everyone else is doing. So remember: Change how you measure your success, and it will change the way you see what you're capable of in business. 👉 Reminder #2: Everyone has their own secret sauce. Including you. Someone else could serve a similar audience, create similar content, have a similar business model, and have similar programs... Yet it will still not be the exact same as yours because there are plenty of intangibles that will set both of you apart: - Your personalities will be different. - The way you explain things will be different. - Your teaching philosophies will be different. - Your delivery styles will be different. ... and so many other aspects will be different. As a result, even though you may be targeting similar audiences, you will never attract and convert the SAME people - because everyone out there will have a preference on who they want to learn from. Not to mention, the internet population is HUGE, with new users coming up every day... So even though it's easy to fall into a scarcity mindset, remember that there is room for everyone at the table. 👉 Reminder #3: Don't forget about the lives you've changed and the accomplishments you've achieved. While it is easy to suddenly fall into a place of lack whenever you creep your peers, a helpful exercise that I like to do whenever I feel inadequate is to review all my positive comments and make a list of the things I've achieved in my life. Pro Tip: Always keep folders where you store screenshots of all the praises you get, whether it's in passing on social media, compliments from your friends or family (such as birthday cards), or official testimonials with your clients! Not only does this help from a business standpoint, but it helps from a mindset standpoint because it is so easy for us to focus on the negatives or the things we are missing rather than focusing on the things we've already achieved. Occasionally review and re-read any positive praises you've received in the past, AND remember to list out your previous accomplishments on a piece of paper to remind yourself what a badass you truly are. 🔥 👉 Reminder #4: Your state dictates your thoughts, your thoughts dictate your actions, and your actions dictate your reality. It's human nature to fall into the comparison trap and it's also human nature to indulge in creeping a stranger for hours even though you know it'll only make you feel worse. Here's what I recommend: Process the emotions you feel as you should, but only allow yourself to feel as bad as you need to feel for a limited amount of time. For me, when I caught myself feeling crappy about myself, I gave myself permission to feel those emotions fully for 30 minutes only. It was 30 minutes of negative self talk, spiralling, and feeling all the feels. After those 30 minutes were up though, I consciously decided to shift my state. I turned on some music, danced around, read some kick-ass testimonials I've received in the past, and shamelessly admired myself in the mirror. The reason why I purposely did this is because I know the importance of protecting my state. If I have negative thoughts for too long, I know that those thoughts will ultimately alter my mood (aka my feelings), and my mood will affect the actions I take for the rest of the day. For example: I'd probably take a nap to sleep away the sadness, continue to procrastinate on my work, and ultimately play a smaller game. And if I'm not careful and I let the negativity fester for too long, then these counterproductive actions will eventually affect the results I get in business and in life. So remember: Protecting your state is everything. Don't rob yourself from even more happiness. Feel the feels, but eventually boss up and remember that you control your reality. Do you want a shitty reality, or a great one? You decide. 👉 Reminder #5: Where is your imposter syndrome coming from? What can you objectively improve in your business? Once you are in a more objective state, it is important to eventually reflect on where your imposter syndrome may have came from. While we often think we "shouldn't" feel imposter syndrome, sometimes our imposter syndrome may be telling us something we don't want to confront or didn't even realize. For example: ... Maybe looking at your "competitors" stuff made you realize you have a gap in your skillsets, and deep down you already knew you needed to improve in a specific area but didn't want to admit it. ... Or seeing someone else's' consistency is confirming the fact that you aren't consistent with your output, and it's something you deep down know you've been slacking on. ... Or perhaps seeing an industry peer's killer marketing is allowing you to see how you could shake up the way you show up for your audience, and the way you promote your services. Regardless of what you've observed, it's important to also take a step back objectively and reflect on why this particular person intimidated you or made you feel bad in the first place. Often times, there likely IS something you can take away that you could use to further improve your business. You just need to discern the difference between making it a pity party about yourself vs. using it as an opportunity to get better. And you won't be able to discern that until you follow Reminder #4 of putting yourself in either a positive or neutral state about the situation. Remember: It's not personal. It's helpful information that illuminates your blind spots and ultimately shapes you to becoming an even better creator and entrepreneur IF you allow it.  Anyways {NAME}, I hope you enjoyed this week's newsletter where I shared my own struggle with comparison, while also sharing some action steps that helped me overcome it quickly. I know it's not easy to stay in your own lane, and I'm also grateful that despite this, you are still willing to open and read my emails as a fellow creator and industry peer. I always remind myself that you could be doing ANYTHING right now, but you choose to be here with me every Monday morning to read my notes to you. I acknowledge it. I value it. And I appreciate it. If there's anything that resonated with you this week, feel free to let me know by sharing it to your IG stories and tagging me @vanessalau.co. Let's slay the imposter syndrome demons together, and step up our biz game for 2022! As always, I am rooting for you, Vanessa ❤️️ Your Content Creator to CEO Mentor PS: Nearly 8,000 of you have already registered for my [upcoming LIVE training]( that are starting TOMORROW! 😳 I am going live tomorrow on March 29, PLUS March 31, April 2, and April 4. If you want to be in a room of likeminded individuals all aiming to level up this year in 2022, then I wholeheartedly invite you to join us! By the way, the slides are looking FIRE 🔥 Here's a peek: In the training, I'll be covering: 1. My 4-part process of finding a profitable niche (including how to FIND and articulate your secret sauce!), 2. The 4 types of content to create to attract the right followers, including what features on Instagram to best leverage, AND 3. The key components to creating scalable 1:1 client programs that can eventually be turned into a course or group program. Make sure to [register here]( before seats run out! There are 4 different day and time slots to choose from. It's not too late to join (but spots ARE filling up quickly)! I'll see you LIVE, starting as soon as tomorrow! 💃💃💃  [Click here]( to unsubscribe if you do not want to receive further emails about the 'Confessions of a Content Creator to CEO' newsletter  [Click here]( if you do not want to receive further emails about the new and improved 'Followers to Clients' training. Sent to: {EMAIL} [Unsubscribe]( Vanessa Lau International Inc., PO BOX 27371 Garden City PO, Richmond, British Columbia V6Y0E9, Canada