Lemonade Wisdom 🍋 A Period of Reflection

And a recap of 2023 Greetings! This time of year is my sweet spot – the span of time wedged between the festivities of the holidays and the anticipation of the new year. It’s a tranquil interlude...a miniature sabbatical. It's often a period marked by reflection, relaxation a subtle sense of transition. The echoes of the holidays fade in the distance and there is a collective exhale. It's a momentary pause before the New Year festivities (which look different for each of us…mine involves comfy sweatpants!). Each year at this time (and winter in general), I look forward to going inward. It's a personal retreat into my thoughts, dreams, hopes and aspirations. It's why I’ve always loved Sundays: the close of a week and a reset; a new day and a new week. Tomorrow will be the granddaddy of all Sundays, it is a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year. It’s the ultimate reset. I am here for it. (I think this mentality is how I compartmentalized and "reset" when it came to difficult court dates or the ups and downs of this horrendous journey of protecting my children. Each week marked a new beginning, a reset and a blank slate.) Reflecting on 2023 is something I've been doing over the past few days (I am down with Covid so I've had lots of time to think). The approaching New Year serves as a metaphorical crossroads, prompting contemplation of victories, lessons learned, and dreams yet to unfold. It was almost surreal to go through my 2023 photographs yesterday, to visually see everything that has unfolded ---so many emotions! This time last year, my family was being legally harassed and traumatized by Josh Homme and his entourage. It became a legal battle for me that lasted several months but more than that, it took a huge toll on me, my work, my health and my family. I went into the new year in a state of fear and panic. Truth be told, it knocked me down pretty hard but I refused to let it keep me down, as you will see by the "OMB recap of 2023." Here we go! JANUARY: I traveled to Sacramento where are we protested at the State Capitol, demanding justice for Maya and Sebastian Laing and raising awareness of the dangers of reunification camps. We met with elected officials to talk about the importance of Piqui’s Law and Kayden’s Law. Just a few days after that, we traveled up to Santa Cruz County to protest in front of the courthouse of Judge Rebecca Connolly, the judicial officer who [sent these children into the living nightmare of reunification camp with Lynn Steinberg](. FEBRUARY: In mid-February, I drove to Salt Lake City, Utah to protest at the State Capitol with the family of [Ty and Brynlee Larson who had barricaded in a portion of their home to avoid court orders sending them to a reunification camp]( called, Turning Points. We were so loud and drew so much attention that elected officials came out of the building to ask about our mission. That these children are still safe today, speaks volumes about the power of exposure. When judicial officers and unscrupulous professionals know that the whole world is watching, they sit up a little straighter. There is an [upcoming trial date in January]( please keep them in your thoughts or prayers as they are not out of the woods yet. MARCH: In March, we organized a protest at the Stanley Mosk Courthouse in Los Angeles, California. We were there to demand justice for Orrin, Camille and Wolf Homme, who had been sent into Family Bridges reunification camp a year prior – and had not been returned to their mother. We were joined by Lala Kent which sparked [media attention]( this very important cause. March, I was contacted by a teenager in Phoenix Arizona by the name of Lexi. She and her brothers had been ordered into Turning Points reunification camp. The kids barricaded in their house after their dad had been taken to jail for not forcing them to comply. We held online watch parties so she wasn't alone after her brothers were forcibly removed from the house. In April, we were heartbroken when Lexi decided to run, as they were closing in on her. Every once in a while, I receive a letter from her to let me know that she is OK. APRIL: In April, Lala Kent and I testified with Elizabeth Peterson in front of the Montana Senate on House Bill 250, Safety of the Child First Act. Sadly, we discovered the level of [corruption in Montana]( first-hand, it is a hotbed for the nefarious alienation industry. Just a few weeks later, Lala and I filmed an episode for [ABC’s Nightline]( to discuss the family court system and reunification camps. MAY: May brought yet another teenager, needing to take matters into her own hands after the family court failed her. Macy in South Dakota was ordered to live with her father despite his conviction of domestic violence against her, her sister and her mother. Not only was he convicted and did he serve jail time, he violated the order of protection, putting on a glove to avoid leaving fingerprints and entering their home. None of this seems to matter when reunification therapist see dollar signs instead of children. Like Lexi, Maci went on the run and is currently missing. May also brought incredible heartbreak, one of the mothers I had protested with in Salt Lake City, Leah Moses, had her worst nightmare come to fruition when her [ex-husband shot and killed her 16-year-old son, Om](. The only thing more infuriating than a child being murdered is knowing that it was preventable. It was absolutely preventable. On the day of the protest, Leah's sign read, "Children's rights are human rights." May also kicked off our dedication and commitment to Piqui’s Law in California. The importance of this law was solidified on May 29, 2023 at 3:04 in the morning when I received a text message from 16-year old [Maya Laing and her younger brother, Sebastian](. Seven months after being violently” transported" to a reunification camp owned by Lynn Steinberg in Los Angeles, California, the children ran away from Washington state where they had been relocated. Over the next few months, they begin detailing the [horrors of reunification camp]( online while in hiding. Their story has a happy ending, they are home with their father and stepmother, and out of hiding. What isn't a happy ending is the financial devastation that has ravaged this family. Many would say, “thankfully they have the money to fight,” but I would counter that: if they didn't have money, they wouldn't have been targeted by reunification therapists and the alienation industry in the first place. JUNE & JULY: June 6, was another protest at the courthouse up in Santa Cruz County to ensure the court knew that the whole world was watching and on June 10, we got really loud downtown Santa Cruz for an even bigger protest in honor of Maya and Sebastian Laing. In July, we joined Ana Estevez, Sandra Ross, Senator Susan Rubio and many other fierce advocates and changemakers at the Sacramento State Capitol for a rally, press conference and for the Assembly Judiciary Committee. It was here that we loudly proclaimed the need for Piqui’s Law and it was here that we were heard. It passed unanimously. AUGUST & SEPTEMBER: In August, the push for Piqui’s Law intensified with a heavy push: outreach to the Assembly Appropriations Committee, where it passed to the next stage. In September, it was in front of the California State Assembly where is passed unanimously. At the finish line, we began efforts to ensure this important bill was on the radar of Governor Gavin Newsom, but there was one final hurdle: the California State Senate on September 14. My daughter and I drove up to Sacramento to stand with Ana Estevez, Sandra Ross, the amazing, Senator Susan Rubio. To be present for such a monumental moment in California history is an honor that I will forever carry – it passed unanimously. The following week, I traveled down to Pasadena for a [press conference with Senator Susan Rubio]( we were honored to have [Mia Tyler speak]( Ana Estevez, Maya Laing, Sandra Ross, myself and many others. This press conference picked kicked off an even heavier push to ensure that Governor Gavin Newsom understood that children's lives were dependent on the passage of SB 331, Piqui’s Law. On October 13, 2023, [Governor Gavin Newsom signed this important legislation into law]( which will take effect January 1, 2024. This law will ensure that judges receive critical training on domestic violence and child abuse, includes all involved in family law proceedings. It mandates reports from judicial council of judges participation in training of domestic violence and child abuse cases. And...my personal “why,” it saves children from the trauma of being ripped away from their loving parent, and placed in unregulated reunification camps. NOVEMBER: November marked the fourth annual [Family Court Awareness Month]( and while I am no longer serving as the Board President, it was an honor to attend multiple City Council meetings to receive proclamations and behalf of this [nonprofit organization]( which was founded in 2020 by myself and, Sandra Ross. We received hundreds of proclamations from cities, counties and states across the country, declaring November as Family Court Awareness Month. Awareness at the community level is sorely needed and to watch survivors stand in front of their elected officials to accept these proclamations is riveting. WHEW.....2023 feels like a blur, it was only when I sit down with my camera to look through photographs that I realized all that has unfolded. There were so many things that I didn't mention, brave teenagers who reached out, countless “court watches,” and protests in Ohio, Oregon and Michigan. A huge shout out to the inspirational advocates ([California Protective Parents Association]( Tennessee Protective Parents, [Custody Peace]( and [Movement of Mothers]( that I work with in this space. I ask: can you be intentional about pausing and reflecting? Set intentions for 2024- it is so powerful and can usher in a sense of renewal and hope of new beginnings. The countdown to midnight becomes a symbolic bridge between what was and what will be, uniting the past and the future in a single, collective moment of transition. In essence, the period between the holidays and New Year's is a delicate balance—a blend of relaxation, reflection, and a gentle nudge towards the unknown. It's a time to savor the positives of the present, reflect on the journey, and embrace the promise of the unfolding chapters yet to come. Embrace moments of tranquility and recharge your spirit. Whether it's through reading, nature walks, or creative pursuits, try to prioritize activities that nourish your soul. Is it more sleep, more music, more tea, burning sage, sunrises or sunsets? Is it creating, laughter, hugs, dreaming, or just been intentional about living in the moment verses on the "what if" path or the "should've, could've, would've" path? Remember that this is the granddaddy of all resets, I hope that 2024 brings you peace, love, and light. I hope that this is the year your children are safe and protected, and that your truth is hard loudly PS On a personal level, it has been jam-packed: I travel up to Stanford often and do home IV infusions monthly, as I navigate a difficult health journey. In April, I lost my dad to cancer and in June, my oldest daughter graduated from high school. For a full recap of 2023 advocacy efforts, and amazing moments, be sure to watch the CP Journal over the next week: I am cheering you on, now and always! Sending love and light, Tina Coming in 2024: The Narc Decoder: Volume Two --------------------------------------------------------------- Divorcing a narcissist or child custody proceedings with a narcissist can feel all-consuming, demoralizing and destabilizing. Common sense and intuition calls for personal protection and firm boundaries yet the family court system demands that survivors acquiesce to the abuser. The court system itself becomes the platform for post separation abuse and the children become pawns and weapons. In a family court system that remains untrained on important topics such as domestic abuse, post separation abuse, coercive control, and victim versus perpetrator behaviors, many survivors are portrayed in a negative light as a result of their communication style. "When I first wrote The Narc Decoder in 2016, it was a much different climate in the family court system. While family court has never been a safe place for survivors of domestic abuse, the atmosphere has become even more concerning and has reached crisis level. It is inhumane for someone to be court-ordered to coparent with their abuser however, there are some harsh realities in the family court system. Healthy, reasonable parents are commonly painted as hysterical, unhinged, "alienators" so operating from a place of strategy is a critical component to protecting one's children. Protective parents are under a high-powered microscope and must navigate accordingly. I look forward to providing an updated guide for survivors who are forced to communicate with a narcissist or other toxic individual during child custody proceedings." -Tina Swithin Interested in submitting your "crazy making" communication for possible inclusion in the new addition? [Click here to read submission examples]( and to understand the format. After you have familiarize yourself, [click here to submit](. AFFIRMATION CARDS FOR CHILDREN - a great activity for your children in 2024! "I know my boundaries" - When there is a toxic or unhealthy parent in the equation, boundaries are not only ignored, they can be seen as a challenge to conquer. We need to be teaching our children about boundaries - classmates, with friends, and even with adults. What are boundaries and how do we talk to our children about this important topic? This card opens that door of communication; boundaries can be emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, etc. Talk to your children about examples of boundaries. We must talk about boundaries with our children - regardless of whether they have an unhealthy parent or not. To order, go to [www.pinkfireworks.com]( Explosive documentary by Olivia Gentile: "Hundreds of children across the United States have been sent into controversial treatment programs where they’re cut off from the parent they trust and forced to live with the one they fear. This investigation explores how proponents of “parental alienation” theory have convinced family court judges to order children into these experimental reunification programs, usually during a custody battle in a divorce. The therapists claim their programs can repair broken parent-child relationships, but critics call them junk science and say they have traumatized kids." Accompanying article: "[The Backstory: Olivia Gentile: Reporting on Parental Alienation]( We’d like to hear about family court professionals who are NOT acting “in the best interest” of children and survivors. Link: [www.intheirbestinterest.com]( Divorce Coaching v. High Conflict Divorce Coaching Which career path is right for you? A Divorce Coach (DC) becomes a cheerleader for their client, providing emotional support as the client learns to traverse the new, unchartered territory of divorce and the blank pages that await them in the next chapter. Those blank pages can be anxiety inducing, so the support of a DC is invaluable. A DC asks open-ended questions, allowing the client to take the reins and lead while simultaneously tapping into their wants, feelings and core values which often get lost or neglected during the marriage. The end result is often an empowered client who is able to see the process in a new and more hopeful light. A High Conflict Divorce Coach (HCDC) becomes a strategy partner for their client, getting into the trenches and assuming position as a trusted team member. A HCDC maintains strong boundaries, not crossing into attorney territory (legal advice) or therapeutic territory (mental health). The services and support of a HCDC compliments the work of family law attorneys and mental health providers. The HCDC holds a unique lens, helping their clients to see things from a variety of angles and perspectives so they are fully educated on the process. The HCDC guides the client to operate from a place of strategy versus emotion. If you have questions, email tina@hcdivorcecoach.com. This is what a recent graduate had to say about our program: "Everything about this course was excellent. The format was easily accessible to various brain styles (video, text, live calls, and inter-class communications). The actual content was so thoughtfully curated; every single lesson was readily applicable and there was absolutely no fluff. And then having the opportunity to coach a real client was invaluable. If you take the course you will be prepared to be a divorce coach of the highest professional and ethical caliber, and you will be connected with inspiring people working alongside you. It is not something you can “wing.” The effort and time is 1000% worth it." -Jamie Clarisse Apply today at [hcdivorcecoach.com/apply]( and join us for January session! [Click here to learn ALL about becoming a High Conflict Divorce Coach.]( If you resonate with any of the following statements, you would be helped by having a divorce coach on your team: - I am new to divorcing a narcissist (or high conflict individual) and I don’t want to make mistakes. - I am struggling with radical acceptance and/or managing my expectations. - I struggle with what (and how) to document. - I have been using gray rock communication and it’s hurting my case. - I don’t understand what matters to the court system and I feel lost. - I feel alone and no one understands – my own therapist seems baffled. - I am at odds with my attorney, and I don’t feel heard. - I am facing a custody evaluation and I don’t know how to prepare. - The judge sees me as part of the problem and I don’t know how to turn this around. Our high-conflict divorce coaches have received extensive training on post separation abuse. These coaches have been taught by leading experts around the world and they are trained to serve as strategy partners. Check our referral database at [www.hcdivorcecoach.com/coach]( - [Gains in the movement to end most pervasive violence in the world - North Dallas Gazette]( - [ABC7: Piqui's Law - named for South Pasadena boy murdered by his father - heading to Newsom's desk]( - [Insider: California legislature passes bill aiming to protect children from abusers during custody disputes]( - [Roundtable: Violence, Criminality, and Human Rights Violations in the Family Courts with Dr. Bandy Lee]( - Survivor Squad Podcast: [Part I: Money, Manipulation & Mayhem w/ Tina Swithin]( - Survivor Squad Podcast: [Part II: Money, Manipulation & Mayhem w/ Tina Swithin]( - [Toxic: The Podcast: Episode 75: Not the Fun Kind of Camp—Family Reunification Camps, aka, Legalized Kidnappings, Are Disturbing as Hell]( - [Your Divorce Survival Guide: Exposing Parental Alienation in Family Courts with Grant Wyeth]( - [What Came Next Podcast]( - [Ms. Magazine: Remembering Catherine Kassenoff and Continuing the Fight for Fair U.S. Child Custody Outcomes]( - [What You Need to Know About Reunification Therapy (Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast)]( - [Here's the Truth About Reunification Camps (Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast)]( - [Nightline: Lala Kent and Tina Swithin]( - [Navigating Narcissism: Dr. Ramani and Tina Swithin]( - [Insider: Her son said his stepdad was sexually abusive. A judge gave the stepdad custody anyway. Then she found the photographs]( - [One Mom's Battle by Annie Kenny: Welcome to America, the Land of the Free - Unless you are the Child of An Abuser]( - [ProPublica: Barricaded Siblings Turn to TikTok While Defying Court Order to Return to Father They Say Abused Them]( - [Page Six: Lala Kent Protesting Family Court Abuse]( - [San Francisco Public Press: Family Courts Rely on Dubious Theory to Dismiss Child Abuse Claims]( - [San Francisco Public Press: Children’s Violent Removal From Santa Cruz Home Raises Calls to End Reunification Camps]( - [Good Times Santa Cruz: Teens and Lawmakers Work to Outlaw Reunification Therapy]( [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Link]( [Website]( [Pinterest]( [LinkedIn]( [YouTube]( Our mailing address is: One Mom's Battle/Tina Swithin P.O. Box 123 San Luis Obispo, California 93406 Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. Copyright © 2023 One Mom's Battle, LLC, All rights reserved