Lemonade Wisdom: The Four Most Dangerous Words

"Benefit of the Doubt" "BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT" “The four most dangerous words in the English language are ‘benefit of the doubt.’ – Dr. Ramani My friend, Dr. Ramani is my favorite deliver of “truth bombs.” This is a topic that I have contemplated a great deal since [reading a recent article]( in which Dr. Ramani was interviewed for Well + Good. “Benefit of the doubt,” has evolved into a topic of conversation in my home – breaking cycles involves education so the next generation goes forth with eyes wide open. I’ve been reflecting on so many things in life that have gone in a negative direction. When I look in the rearview mirror, the vast majority of toxic relationships, difficult friendships and plot-twists could be thread together using those four words. Something that also ties into this topic is projection. I’ve talked a lot about projection going both ways. Yes, we know that the narcissist projects their negative qualities onto us however, we project our positive qualities, traits and values onto others who are undeserving. ‘Benefit of the doubt,” and projection are siblings – very toxic ones. Just because I am honest doesn’t mean that my co-worker is and if I see a red flag in their behavior, I should proceed with caution versus projecting upon them and giving the benefit of the doubt. It is a slippery, and sometimes very dangerous slope. How many things in your life can be explained by the simple realization that you gave someone or something, the benefit of the doubt? You projected your own qualities and traits onto someone who was undeserving. Guilty as charged. So many of us are targeted by toxic people because our traits are so attractive to them. We are kind, forgiving, empathetic and we see the best in others. We are the light – they are the darkness. While I personally walk through life with eyes wide open, it is a continuous learning experience. Wolves in sheep’s clothing surround us and the older I get, the smaller my circle becomes. It is a conscious effort not to feel jaded and cynical – I see how it happens. I get it, I do. It’s a balance of seeking joy and light, staying aware and alert for flags of every color. It's self-awareness when it comes to projection and, doling out "benefit of the doubt" in moderation and very measured. My guess is that these are lessons we didn't learn when we were younger, and it's probably why we fell prey to emotional and psychological predators. When we know better, we do better. Together, we are stronger. Thank you for being a part of my little village - I am grateful for you. Love, Tina BECOME AN ADVOCATE FOR [THE KEEPING CHILDREN SAFE FROM FAMILY VIOLENCE ACT]( (AKA KAYDEN'S LAW IN VAWA) NSPO's ongoing LIVE Advocacy Event Series is designed to help support you to raise awareness, bring ["The Keeping Children Safe From Family Violence Act"]( (aka [Kayden’s Law]( in VAWA) to your state, connect you with others in your state to streamline your advocacy efforts. These events will be held on the second Thursday of each month and will feature special guests and cover various topics. Our next event: Thursday, September 8th at 6:30 pm. Please [request access]( for the free advocacy event series and links for the events will be emailed to you on the day of each event. Every Friday: Coffee with Tina at 9amPST Our topic of discussion this week: How do you help your child feel empowered - when your hands are tied legally? Not able to join live, we will post the video on the OMB Instagram at @onemomsbattle. Have a question you’d like us to discuss for a future live - email it to admin@onemomsbattle.com (subject line: Coffee with Tina). Connect with us on [Instagram by clicking here](. NOVEMBER IS FAMILY COURT AWARENESS MONTH We want to put this on the map in your community BUT we can't do it without you. Has YOUR city, county or state proclaimed November as Family Court Awareness Month? HELP WANTED: We need state leads, researchers, graphic designers and help with PR efforts (access to Cision would be a double-bonus). PROCLATION REQUESTS: Please mark your calendars - many proclamations need to be requested four (or more) weeks in advance. [Interested in helping? Click here to contact us.]( Email: Sandy@familycourtawarenessmonth.org Our next session begins on January 9, 2023, and we have 11 spaces remaining. If you are interested in starting your new career as a high conflict divorce coach, be sure to apply today! [➡][hcdivorcecoach.com/apply]( [Click for Graduate Testimonials]( Parental alienation” is not recognized by ANY credible organization such as WHO or the American Psychological Association (APA) yet it is a HUGE moneymaker for attorneys and therapists. Sadly, it’s used by the abuser to remove children from the safe parent. The narcissist accuses the safe parent of turning the kids against him/her, when in fact the kids can see for themselves what is happening without you saying a word. The abuser’s own actions turn the children away. The narcissist may accuse you of “gatekeeping” when you try to prevent your kids from being in physically or emotionally unsafe situations. You may be accused of “enmeshment” when the narcissist is in a jealous rage that your kids are naturally more comfortable with you. The narcissist’s own actions and behavior (abuse) is what turns the children away – yet the finger is pointing at you! Concerned about claims of alienation, gatekeeping, or enmeshment? Parental alienation is the number one tool for abusers to remove custody from healthy parents and even though it has been discredited as “junk science,” it is a widely used accusation in many courtrooms. Those who complete the course are invited to join our private support group, “Safeguarding Against Alienation Claims” Link: [( In an effort to raise awareness on post separation abuse, we have created a campaign using the words of the abuser. The abuser’s own words paint a picture that is undeniable yet the family court system continues to give the abuser the benefit of the doubt to the detriment of children. Each and every day, children are being sent into abusive situations because “parental rights” continue to trump children’s rights to safety. For each quote that we use, One Mom’s Battle will make a $10 donation to the National Family Violence Law Center at the George Washington University. To Participate: Send the post separation abuse words of your abuser to postseparationabuse@gmail.com Need an attorney or therapist? Friends of OMB is a database of professionals who have been recommended to us by OMB followers or clients. [(CLICK HERE)]( Following the OMB Blog? Stay "in the know" on topics related to family court, calls-to-action, narcissistic abuse and post separation abuse. [(CLICK HERE)]( [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Link]( [Website]( [Pinterest]( [LinkedIn]( [YouTube]( Our mailing address is: One Mom's Battle/Tina Swithin P.O. Box 123 San Luis Obispo, California 93406 Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. Copyright © 2021 One Mom's Battle, LLC, All rights reserved