Lemonade Wisdom: It's Personal

Giving myself grace - are you giving yourself grace? Warning: It's Personal Disclaimer: this one is personal, and has nothing to do with family court. You are welcome to keep reading or, to wait for next week’s email when I am (hopefully) back on track. My dad is dying. For a year and eight months, I have remained somewhat in denial. He told me on my birthday, September 24, 2020 - and told me he had stage four lung cancer. They estimated that he had 3 to 4 months left to live. We went to see him in November 2020 and, as our trip came to an end and I said goodbye, I believed it would be the last hug I’d ever have with my dad. BUT He kept fighting, refusing to give up. We got to see him again in the summer of 2021, and I said goodbye again wondering if that would be the last time I ever hugged him. He is a warrior. He is a fighter. I get my strength from my dad. He has beat all odds and for the past year and a half, we’ve been on a roller coaster of positive, hopeful news and horrific, devastating reality checks. Things have recently taken a turn and, begin to look darker and darker every day. When you face something like this, especially with your parents, it causes you to reflect on so many things. My childhood was pretty unconventional. CPS would have had a field day with my family had they ever become involved- both of my parents struggled with addiction, my mom was an alcoholic but also a hard-core drug addict. She also suffered from mental illness. She committed suicide when I was 26 years old. My dad‘s vice was alcohol (he’s been sober for 25, maybe 30 years), and he would likely admit that there is undiagnosed anxiety and depression. Since I was six months old, it was me and my dad. He was in his late teens when he got custody of me - he turned 19 a month before I was born. There were several junctures where he was homeless - and I was left with friends or family members until he could get back on his feet. Once, we even lived in a camper shell on the back of a truck. From fourth grade to sixth grade, I attended seven different elementary schools because I bounced around quit a bit. Despite the addictions, despite the struggles, I never doubted my dad‘s love for me. We have always had a very strong bond even though there of been several junctures in my adulthood when we didn’t speak. I’ve had seasons of needing to unpack baggage that pushed me into my little cave which is where I go when things get to be too much. But sometimes you don’t need words; all that matters is what is in your heart and for me, that was my dad‘s unconditional love. We always found our way back to center. My dad defines perseverance. Despite the hurdles that life continued to place on his path, he refused to give up. As a child, I didn’t have the words to label it or to truly understand it but, he modeled it. I learned from watching him. And I knew that no matter what, if I needed him, he was there. Always. My brother recently made a comment to my little sister and I - about watching people with cancer "hold on" over the years because they did not have permission from their family to stop fighting. I have known for quite a while that I needed to give my dad permission to stop fighting but I can’t seem to make my mouth form those words. It's hard enough to think them, let alone say them. It also goes against everything my dad taught me, and modeled for me. We never give up. A few weeks ago, I sent him a letter and in it I said: “While I can’t bring myself to verbally say it to you, I feel the need to say it here: I am so grateful that you kept fighting and that you secured yourself more time with all of us but….I also want you to know that when and if you feel the need to stop fighting, I support you in that. While this is the most difficult thing I’ve ever written, I need you to know that I support you in whatever decision you make. If you want to keep fighting, I will be your biggest cheerleader. If you want to say, ‘no more,’ I will be your echo.” #### It feels like "too much" to lose both of my parents (my aunt/"my rock" died in August 2021) in a one-year span of time. Sometimes, it all feels like too much and this is one of those times. For a while, I may not be able to hold space for people the way I normally do. For a while, I may need to push pause and lean into my family and friends. For a while, I will probably retreat into my cave… but I promise I will be back. If I am unable to send out a Monday email, I will give myself grace. If I am unable to hold space for a client, I will give myself grace. If I feel the need to spend a day in bed, I will give myself grace. I will give myself the same grace that I would give others. I ask: are you giving yourself the same grace that you so freely give to others? I am learning that it is so important. It really is. Please keep my family in your thoughts and/or prayers. Thank you for being a part of my little village of Lemonade Warriors! Love and Light, Tina California: Piqui’s Law SB 616 Aramazd ‘Piqui’ Andressian Jr. 02/19/2012 – 04/21/2017 [CLICK TO BECOME AN ADVOCATE FOR PIQUI'S LAW]( [CLICK TO READ IMPORTANT UPDATES]( from our friends at NFVLC We want to know about your experience with [Linda J. Gottlieb]( of Turning Points (alienation quack-ery). There are reports that she physically assaulted a 13-year old girl at her reunification program. [Click here to share your experience](. About this campaign: We are pulling names from our database to feature -- you can add your family court professional by going to [intheirbestinterest.com]( and click, "submit." We want to know who IS and who IS NOT acting in their best interest? "Lynn Steinburg took a child molester's word as fact - during an televised interview, Steinberg stated, "This father was being accused of sexually molesting and assaulting his daughter and I knew he had diabetes and couldn't get an erection." Journalist asked, "How do you know he couldn't get an erection?" Steinberg responded, "He told me." If your case has been affected by Lynn Steinberg, [let us know here](. About the "Tell Us More" campaign: We are pulling names from our database to feature -- you can add your family court professional by going to [intheirbestinterest.com]( and click, "submit." REVISED VERSION: NOW AVAILABLE With the release of her first book in 2012, “Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle,” Tina Swithin transformed a small grassroots movement into an international coalition (One Mom's Battle) with more than 100,000 members in 5 different countries. A survivor of a high conflict divorce, Swithin is now ready to share the untold chapters of her path to peace and safety for her family. “I originally wrote “[Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle]( in 2012 while my plight was still ongoing,” Swithin said. “I was silenced from speaking the full truth by the potential repercussions on my custody case; my case is now in my rearview mirror, so I it’s time for me to share my full story. As they would say in a court of law, I plan to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” The best-selling, five-time author’s highly anticipated revised edition comes at a time when high conflict and high profile divorces dominate the mainstream media. Now, more than ever, families need resources on navigating the messy waters of family court and children’s rights - versus mother’s rights or father’s rights. Tina has now dedicated her life to raising awareness on narcissism, [post separation abuse]( and its impact on victims and, on the family court system. [* Click here to purchase *]( If you need help navigating a high conflict divorce or child custody battle, our coaches are trained by leading experts in psychology, law, trauma, advocacy and even risk assessment. If you are divorcing a narcissist, and needing a strategy partner, we can help. Find more info at [hcdivorcecoach.com/coach]( In an effort to raise awareness on post separation abuse, we have created a campaign using the words of the abuser. The abuser’s own words paint a picture that is undeniable yet the family court system continues to give the abuser the benefit of the doubt to the detriment of children. Each and every day, children are being sent into abusive situations because “parental rights” continue to trump children’s rights to safety. For each quote that we use, One Mom’s Battle will make a $10 donation to the National Family Violence Law Center at the George Washington University. To Participate: Send the post separation abuse words of your abuser to postseparationabuse@gmail.com Do you need a divorce coach? Divorce coaching is a relatively new profession however, clients and attorneys are finding that the divorce coach fills a void that existed in the past. [(CLICK HERE)]( Need an attorney or therapist? Friends of OMB is a database of professionals who have been recommended to us by OMB followers or clients. [(CLICK HERE)]( Following the OMB Blog? Stay "in the know" on topics related to family court, calls-to-action, narcissistic abuse and post separation abuse. [(CLICK HERE)]( "In Their Best Interest" Your voice matters and we invite you to tell us about family court professionals who are colluding or corrupt. [(CLICK HERE)]( Seeking a Safe Place? The Lemonade Club is a private forum where members are screened through an application and by phone. [(]( HERE]( [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Link]( [Website]( [Pinterest]( [LinkedIn]( [YouTube]( Our mailing address is: One Mom's Battle/Tina Swithin P.O. Box 123 San Luis Obispo, California 93406 Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. Copyright © 2021 One Mom's Battle, LLC, All rights reserved