Lemonade Wisdom 🍋 Exciting News

I (we) wrote a NEW book! Hello Warrior Mommas – So… I did “a thing” but before I spill the tea… I need to share the backstory: As a child, I was hypersensitive to anyone excluded on the playground or anyone being bullied. I remember my first day of fourth grade at a new school. I was in the principal's office...in tears and begging him to help because there was a boy who was being taunted by bullies. I felt deeply disappointed and discouraged by the reaction of the principal and took it upon myself to stand up for this classmate on the playground. I was small but I was furious and mighty, I didn’t understand meanness… and I still don’t. As many of you know, my Aunt Bev was the most important person in my life. In my eyes, she was perfect, but she struggled with her weight. I remember a time when she took me to an amusement park when I was nine years old. Several teenage boys passed us and one of them said, “Mooooooo….,” as all three of these jerks broke out in laughter. My face grew hot and tears welled up in my eyes. The way I saw the world changed in that moment. I was absolutely crushed. I wanted to run after them and knock them all over, I wanted them to take it back and I wanted them to apologize to my sweet aunt, yet she brushed it off and put on a happy face for me. Judging by her reaction, it wasn’t her first rodeo. At the age of 26, I started dating “the narcissist.” Some of you know him as Seth in my books, my infamous ex-husband. We were sitting in a diner in Hollywood late one night after hitting the clubs. He made fun of someone at a nearby booth, it was a jab about their weight and what they were ordering. I felt my blood boiling, we had only been together a few months but that was a dealbreaker for me. It was the first time I stood up to him, I refused to be with someone so mean and shallow. It brought up the feelings that I experienced with the playground bullies and the assholes at Great America. He apologized profusely on our way back to the hotel. He said all the right things – told me that what he loved so much about our relationship, was that we had a lot to learn from each other. He thanked me for opening his eyes and sharing how it made me feel. He vowed to be more considerate, kind and he promised that it would never happen again. He appeared to be deeply remorseful, embarrassed and apologetic. I believed him and I accepted his apology. In hindsight, this was a pivotal moment in our relationship but not in the way I hoped. He simply learned to keep his mask on tighter. Like the tale of the frog in boiling water (the legend says a frog will immediately jump out of boiling water, but will remain in water that is gradually heated until it boils to death), I succumbed to the familiar tale of narcissistic abuse and everything that goes along with it. His promises were riddled with lies and over time, I saw behind the mask. Fast forward to me becoming a mom: I made a commitment to myself that I would work overtime to ensure that my children were loving and accepting of everyone, even those who may physically appear to be different from us. When my first-born daughter (Makena) was two years old, she observed a physical difference in a woman we knew…and she was naturally curious about it. I explained to her that this difference was just one of the things that made this person so beautiful. "Differences being beautiful" became a running theme in my parenting. One day, I was holding Makena on my hip while checking out at Target. Our cashier was a very sweet woman - and her physical differences were apparent. As Makena pointed straight at her and started to speak, I held my breath in terror… wondering what was about to leave her mouth. “Mom! She’s BEAUTIFUL,” Makena exclaimed LOUDLY. The woman immediately started crying and thanked us. I started crying and it was a truly beautiful moment. From the car, I called my aunt Bev in tears to share what had just transpired. Her response was, “Tina! We need to make this into a children’s book!” This was years prior to me writing books, I didn’t know the first thing about writing a children’s book but my aunt went so far as to draft out her ideas and together we started collaborating on this handwritten draft. Unfortunately, life went sideways for me shortly after...and stayed that way for many, many years. In 2021, my dear, sweet Aunt Bev died of Covid and I vowed to take this project to completion… in her honor. Last year, I turned the initial draft over to my daughters to work their magic and I am proud to say that this week, we published our first book together: [Everyone is Beautiful](. It is surreal: a collaboration with three of my favorite humans: Aunt Bev, Makena and Kailani. If you have a little one in your life (ages 2-6) and you want to teach them this important lesson, I hope our book is helpful to you. I am cheering you on. There is so much negativity and criticism in our world. We need more love, light and acceptance. From my little family to yours, cheers to raising a new generation of light seekers, truth tellers and warriors. Tina OMB Legal Disclaimer: We are not qualified to give legal advice, nor should this be considered legal advice. Please consult your attorney before you implement any new strategies or communication styles. Your attorney is your voice and advocate in (and out of) the courtroom. AFFIRMATION CARDS FOR CHILDREN - a great activity for your children in 2024! "I know my boundaries" - When there is a toxic or unhealthy parent in the equation, boundaries are not only ignored, they can be seen as a challenge to conquer. We need to be teaching our children about boundaries - classmates, with friends, and even with adults. What are boundaries and how do we talk to our children about this important topic? This card opens that door of communication; boundaries can be emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, etc. Talk to your children about examples of boundaries. We must talk about boundaries with our children - regardless of whether they have an unhealthy parent or not. To order, go to [www.pinkfireworks.com]( Coming in 2024: The Narc Decoder: Volume Two --------------------------------------------------------------- Divorcing a narcissist or child custody proceedings with a narcissist can feel all-consuming, demoralizing and destabilizing. Common sense and intuition calls for personal protection and firm boundaries yet the family court system demands that survivors acquiesce to the abuser. The court system itself becomes the platform for post separation abuse and the children become pawns and weapons. In a family court system that remains untrained on important topics such as domestic abuse, post separation abuse, coercive control, and victim versus perpetrator behaviors, many survivors are portrayed in a negative light as a result of their communication style. "When I first wrote The Narc Decoder in 2016, it was a much different climate in the family court system. While family court has never been a safe place for survivors of domestic abuse, the atmosphere has become even more concerning and has reached crisis level. It is inhumane for someone to be court-ordered to coparent with their abuser however, there are some harsh realities in the family court system. Healthy, reasonable parents are commonly painted as hysterical, unhinged, "alienators" so operating from a place of strategy is a critical component to protecting one's children. Protective parents are under a high-powered microscope and must navigate accordingly. I look forward to providing an updated guide for survivors who are forced to communicate with a narcissist or other toxic individual during child custody proceedings." -Tina Swithin Interested in submitting your "crazy making" communication for possible inclusion in the new addition? [Click here to read submission examples]( and to understand the format. After you have familiarize yourself, [click here to submit](. Explosive documentary by Olivia Gentile: "Hundreds of children across the United States have been sent into controversial treatment programs where they’re cut off from the parent they trust and forced to live with the one they fear. This investigation explores how proponents of “parental alienation” theory have convinced family court judges to order children into these experimental reunification programs, usually during a custody battle in a divorce. The therapists claim their programs can repair broken parent-child relationships, but critics call them junk science and say they have traumatized kids." Accompanying article: "[The Backstory: Olivia Gentile: Reporting on Parental Alienation]( We’d like to hear about family court professionals who are NOT acting “in the best interest” of children and survivors. Link: [www.intheirbestinterest.com]( Divorce Coaching v. High Conflict Divorce Coaching Which career path is right for you? A Divorce Coach (DC) becomes a cheerleader for their client, providing emotional support as the client learns to traverse the new, unchartered territory of divorce and the blank pages that await them in the next chapter. Those blank pages can be anxiety inducing, so the support of a DC is invaluable. A DC asks open-ended questions, allowing the client to take the reins and lead while simultaneously tapping into their wants, feelings and core values which often get lost or neglected during the marriage. The end result is often an empowered client who is able to see the process in a new and more hopeful light. A High Conflict Divorce Coach (HCDC) becomes a strategy partner for their client, getting into the trenches and assuming position as a trusted team member. A HCDC maintains strong boundaries, not crossing into attorney territory (legal advice) or therapeutic territory (mental health). The services and support of a HCDC compliments the work of family law attorneys and mental health providers. The HCDC holds a unique lens, helping their clients to see things from a variety of angles and perspectives so they are fully educated on the process. The HCDC guides the client to operate from a place of strategy versus emotion. If you have questions, email tina@hcdivorcecoach.com. This is what a recent graduate had to say about our program: "Everything about this course was excellent. The format was easily accessible to various brain styles (video, text, live calls, and inter-class communications). The actual content was so thoughtfully curated; every single lesson was readily applicable and there was absolutely no fluff. And then having the opportunity to coach a real client was invaluable. If you take the course you will be prepared to be a divorce coach of the highest professional and ethical caliber, and you will be connected with inspiring people working alongside you. It is not something you can “wing.” The effort and time is 1000% worth it." -Jamie Clarisse Apply today at [hcdivorcecoach.com/apply]( and join us for August 2024 session! [Click here to learn ALL about becoming a High Conflict Divorce Coach.]( If you resonate with any of the following statements, you would be helped by having a divorce coach on your team: - I am new to divorcing a narcissist (or high conflict individual) and I don’t want to make mistakes. - I am struggling with radical acceptance and/or managing my expectations. - I struggle with what (and how) to document. - I have been using gray rock communication and it’s hurting my case. - I don’t understand what matters to the court system and I feel lost. - I feel alone and no one understands – my own therapist seems baffled. - I am at odds with my attorney, and I don’t feel heard. - I am facing a custody evaluation and I don’t know how to prepare. - The judge sees me as part of the problem and I don’t know how to turn this around. Our high-conflict divorce coaches have received extensive training on post separation abuse. These coaches have been taught by leading experts around the world and they are trained to serve as strategy partners. Check our referral database at [www.hcdivorcecoach.com/coach]( - ['I want them to know I'm coming to help': Phoenix father's custody case challenges 'pseudo-theory']( - [Senate Republicans Protect Arizona Children from the Horrors of Reunification Camps with SB 1372 Signed into Law]( - [AZ lawmakers move to ban ‘reunification’ treatment in child custody cases]( - [Domestic violence victims and advocates press for family court system reform]( - [The incredible tale of one mom's successful battle to be free from her narcissistic ex-husband]( - [Gains in the movement to end most pervasive violence in the world - North Dallas Gazette]( - [ABC7: Piqui's Law - named for South Pasadena boy murdered by his father - heading to Newsom's desk]( - [Insider: California legislature passes bill aiming to protect children from abusers during custody disputes]( - [Roundtable: Violence, Criminality, and Human Rights Violations in the Family Courts with Dr. Bandy Lee]( - Survivor Squad Podcast: [Part I: Money, Manipulation & Mayhem w/ Tina Swithin]( - Survivor Squad Podcast: [Part II: Money, Manipulation & Mayhem w/ Tina Swithin]( - [Toxic: The Podcast: Episode 75: Not the Fun Kind of Camp—Family Reunification Camps, aka, Legalized Kidnappings, Are Disturbing as Hell]( - [Your Divorce Survival Guide: Exposing Parental Alienation in Family Courts with Grant Wyeth]( - [What Came Next Podcast]( - [Ms. Magazine: Remembering Catherine Kassenoff and Continuing the Fight for Fair U.S. Child Custody Outcomes]( - [What You Need to Know About Reunification Therapy (Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast)]( - [Here's the Truth About Reunification Camps (Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast)]( - [Nightline: Lala Kent and Tina Swithin]( - [Navigating Narcissism: Dr. Ramani and Tina Swithin]( - [Insider: Her son said his stepdad was sexually abusive. A judge gave the stepdad custody anyway. Then she found the photographs]( - [One Mom's Battle by Annie Kenny: Welcome to America, the Land of the Free - Unless you are the Child of An Abuser]( - [ProPublica: Barricaded Siblings Turn to TikTok While Defying Court Order to Return to Father They Say Abused Them]( - [Page Six: Lala Kent Protesting Family Court Abuse]( - [San Francisco Public Press: Family Courts Rely on Dubious Theory to Dismiss Child Abuse Claims]( - [San Francisco Public Press: Children’s Violent Removal From Santa Cruz Home Raises Calls to End Reunification Camps]( - [Good Times Santa Cruz: Teens and Lawmakers Work to Outlaw Reunification Therapy]( [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Link]( [Website]( [Pinterest]( [LinkedIn]( [YouTube]( Our mailing address is: One Mom's Battle/Tina Swithin P.O. Box 123 San Luis Obispo, California 93406 Want to change how you receive these emails? 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