Hi {NAME}, Daily Headlines - 5 April 2023 ***************************************************************** Parts of UK booted offline as Virgin Media suffers massive broadband outage Even managed to kick its own website into touch in spectacular fail ***************************************************************** Off-Prem * Unilever claims it's a 'cloud-only enterprise' â now with added OpenAI Funny way to describe a company that makes toilet cleaner * When Google cost cutting goes molecular: Staples, sticky tape, and PC sweating Staff WFH so internal cafes are baking too many muffins, says doc, while bus shuttles and yoga classes are empty On-Prem * Samsung takes $3.1B gamble on OLED displays for tablets and notebooks That must be why PC sales are down â the blacks just aren't inky enough * IBM and Kyndryl are cutting jobs even after cutting ties Employees doubt IBM's claim that current layoffs were announced already * Parts of UK booted offline as Virgin Media suffers massive broadband outage Even managed to kick its own website into touch in spectacular fail * Why UK watchdog abandoned its Apple monopoly probe You win this round, Cook â but Europe has already lined up changes Britain fluffed Security * Feds seize $112m in cryptocurrency linked to 'pig-butchering' finance scams Thieves go nose-to-tail stripping cash from victims * Can ChatGPT bash together some data-stealing code? With the right prompts, sure But nothing a keen beginner couldn't do, anyway * UK data watchdog fines TikTok £12.7M for failing to protect kids Some 1.4 million under-13s used the app in 2020 by the ICO's estimates * Bank rewrote ads for infosec jobs to stop scaring away women Blokes happily bluffed; women played it by the book, leaving the bank struggling to hire Software * Anti-plagiarism tool Turntin tries to find AI writing by students â with mixed grades 98% accuracy, but tests suggest a human touch will beat the teachers * Microsoft App Center has been down for nearly a day, and no word on when it'll end Redmond claims service is (partially) restored, some users still stuck * Ubuntu 23.04 'Lunar Lobster' beta is here in all its glitchy glory That means next version of the most popular Linux distro is getting close * Twitter blocks Pakistan government account, boosts state-run media from Russia and China Block complies with Indian policy, but boost may violate avian network's state-sponsored media policy * Euro privacy regulators sniff Italy's ChatGPT ban, consider a pizza the action Germany may follow, France and Ireland look for guidance from Rome * Australian bank stops handling cash at the counter in some branches Crikey! Get those banknotes to an ATM, mate! Special Features * Think tank: Chips Act is great, but US should look at biotech supply chain too The White House and DoD move to bolster domestic biomanufacturing * US pushes next phase of satellite missile defense system Agency asks for industry input into medium Earth orbit system * Microsoft adds chatbots to Teams for the Pentagon Yes, DoD admins, your users can ask for this now, but make sure your bots are in compliance * 'Slow AI' needed to stop autonomous weapons making humans worse It's you, hi, you're the problem, it's you * Australia takes its turn to kick TikTok off government kit Even a politician who visited China last week has binned the app Offbeat * Tesla ordered to pay worker $3M-plus over racist treatment Ex-employee was offered $15M by judge in 2021, but asked for a new trial instead * Virgin Obit: Launch company files for bankruptcy in US Just as namesake ISP Virgin Media* falls silent out of respect ------------------------------------------------------------------------ This email was sent to {EMAIL} You can update your preferences here: or unsubscribe from this list: Situation Publishing Ltd, 315 Montgomery Street, 9th & 10th Floors, San Francisco, CA 94104, USA The Register and its contents are Copyright © 2023 Situation Publishing. All rights reserved. Find our Privacy Policy here: