The nightmare is real: 'Excel formulas are the world's most widely used programming language,' says Microsoft [Mon Dec 7 2020]

Hi {NAME}, Daily Headlines - 7 December 2020 ***************************************************************** The nightmare is real: 'Excel formulas are the world's most widely used programming language,' says Microsoft So here's LAMBDA to make custom functions out of those formulas ***************************************************************** Business * China’s digital currency finds its first cross-border payments buddy: Hong Kong The possible plan to create a parallel financial system also adds bump-to-pay in new domestic trial * Microsoft hasn't had a good time with privacy recently – so here's a tool that checks your data compliance is up to snuff Sitting comfortably? It's an Azure Purview Preview * USA adds China’s top chipmaker to list of companies American money can’t legally buy a slice of SMIC says the smackdown won’t hurt, is based on fake news Data Centre * Uncle Sam throws Huawei CFO a bone in her extradition fight, but deal will require an admission of wrongdoing Deferred prosecution agreement offered to Meng Wanzhou * UK government puts £750m on the table as it looks to deal directly with cloud providers Plan is to get public sector buying services straight from suppliers * EKS appeal: 'Just snap install' it, says Canonical as AWS's container game goes hybrid Digging into the tech and strategy with compute services veep Deepak Singh * There are two sides to every story, two ends to every cable Panto season arrives at Vulture Central * AWS adds a ‘Would you like services with that?’ option to its software Marketplace Services spend lands on your AWS bill. Is that enough to get you buying with a click? Emergent Tech * Boffins from China push quantum computing envelope for 'supremacy' in emerging photon field Light-based quantum system bests classical supercomputer * Intel Labs unleashes its boffins with tales of quantum computing, secure databases and the end of debugging Machine programming and other future technology touted at Chipzilla shindig * China bans encryption exports – including quantum and key management tech And don’t you dare try to get a fax machine into the Middle Kingdom * Labor watchdog accuses Google of illegally firing staff in union-busting push – as AI ethics guru is pushed out Web giant could be dragged in front of a judge to justify its actions Personal Tech * Running joke: That fitness gadget? It's, er, run out I'd plug it back in but the cable's not long enough for a jog Security * What if you could call on SANS experts for training that fits your schedule? Well now you can. Here’s how… * Protect your business from DDoS attacks: Join this webinar to find out more Expert advice on how to combat one of the most dangerous online threats * It’s dark out there, and if you want to keep the lights on, you need to update your cyber-security skills with SANS Learn over one week, two weeks, or even two days – the choice is yours Site News * Fancy a complete change of direction or just ready for something new? Browse our latest job vacancies Software sales for Christmas Software * Happy silver jubilee to JavaScript, king of the web at 25 and still hanging on to its crown, for now Two and a half decades on, JavaScript is everywhere * The nightmare is real: 'Excel formulas are the world's most widely used programming language,' says Microsoft So here's LAMBDA to make custom functions out of those formulas * Microsoft pokes Cortana's corpse to give her telepathic abilities on Windows 10 Should we be worried? Science * Marine archaeologists catch a break on the bottom of the Baltic Sea: A 75-year-old Enigma Machine Attempting to save aquatic life trapped in old fishing nets, divers uncover a hidden treasure * A tale of two nations: See China blast off from the Moon as drone shows America's Arecibo telescope falling apart Everyone has an off day, er, year, er, make that four years... Bootnotes * Let's check in now with the new California monolith... And it's gone, torn down by a bunch of MAGA muppets Good to see the youth being productive * Wireless screen in estate agent window just begging for someone to fill it with mischief At last, a chance for a random phone-toting passer-by to show their quality ------------------------------------------------------------------------ This email was sent to {EMAIL} You can update your preferences here: or unsubscribe from this list: Situation Publishing Ltd, 14 Gray's Inn Road, London, WC1X 8HN, UK The Register and its contents are Copyright © 2020 Situation Publishing. All rights reserved. Find our Privacy Policy here: