Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein [Mon Sep 16 2019]

Hi {NAME}, Daily Headlines - 16 September 2019 ***************************************************************** Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein A magical journey into the brave new world of Start Menus and Recycle Bins ***************************************************************** Business * OK, peons, we'll obey the law and let you talk about politics and pay packets, says Google Reaches agreement with US government over Labor rights * Malwarebytes back to square one as appeals court rules blocking rival antivirus maker isn't on Section 230 has legal eagles split over censorship * Service call centres to become wasteland and tumbleweed by 2024 Aye, son, I remember when this was all industrial estates... * Are you who you say you are, sir? You are? That's all fine then Stop asking difficult questions and stick to the script, pal Data Centre * Now that's what we're Tolkien about: You need one storage system to rule them all and in the darkness bind them An argument in favor of a single source of truth in your organization * Avaya considering tie-up with RingCentral to save it from fire sale – report Comms kit vendor in talks with videoconferencing outfit about possible joint venture * £1bn UK justice system digitisation scheme in massive delay shocker Now there's a surprise! Emergent Tech * 700km on a single charge: Mercedes says it's in it for the long run Star-spangled luxury EV trips the light fantastic * And the teeny-tiny bottle of AI whisky goes to... I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you drink that Personal Tech * Wall Street analyst slashes HP Inc's share rating amid mounting worries over printer supplies declines Supplies no longer HP Ink's licence to, er, print money Security * Whoa, bot wars: As cybercrooks add more AI to their arsenal, the goodies will have to too The future is automated, says Trend Micro bod * Consumer ransomware insurance? You could be painting a target on us all for avaricious crims D'ya hear that, cybercrooks? $50k up for grabs. * Charmin'. Garmin admits customers' full credit card data nicked from South African web store Rainbow Nation site was running on Magento * From PowerShell to auditing: Expand your cybersecurity know-how at SANS London 2019 Gain the skills you need to fend off miscreants this October in the UK capital Software * I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch Users find PCs silenced while Microsoft looks into search fix * Hold up, ace. Before you strap into Firefox's latest Test Pilot, ask yourself... How much do I trust Mozilla with my data? * Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein A magical journey into the brave new world of Start Menus and Recycle Bins Science * Magnetic cockroaches, dirty money, wombat poo and posties' balls: It's the Ig Nobels 2019 This year's theme was 'habits' and they were baaaaad * MIT boffins turn black up to 11 with carbon nanotubes that absorb 99.995% of light It's like, how much more black could this be and the answer is none. None more black * Tut – you wait a lifetime for an interstellar object then two come at once Boffins spot a possible follow-up to 'Oumuamua * Astroboffins baffled as black hole at center of Milky Way suddenly a lot hungrier than before 'We've never seen it eat so much in over 20 years!' Bootnotes * Wake me up before you Gogo ... so I can jump out: Kenyan MP takes on aeroplane flatulence Further investigation suggests she may actually have a point * Time for another cuppa then? Tea-drinkers have better brains, say boffins with even better brains Mine's a pint of oolong, please, love * Just what we all needed, lactose-free 'beer' from northern hipsters – it's the Vegan Sorbet Sour Brewed with ice cream ... and no meat at all! * Captain's coffee calamity causes transatlantic flight diversion Electronics and hot drinks don't mix ------------------------------------------------------------------------ This email was sent to {EMAIL} You can update your preferences here: or unsubscribe from this list: Situation Publishing Ltd, 14 Gray's Inn Road, London, WC1X 8HN, UK The Register and its contents are Copyright © 2019 Situation Publishing. All rights reserved. Find our Privacy Policy here: