Brexit will happen. The EU GDPR will happen. You can't avoid either [Mon Sep 19 2016]

The Register Daily Headlines 19 September 2016 Check out our other feeds and services: Business News * Australian universities drop tech services to dodge metadata retention obligation Secondary campuses - and your alumni email account - fail 'immediate circle' test * Peerless Skype to shed 400 UK developers Unicorns extinct in Holborn * United States Air Force grounds F-35As after cooling kit cracks up If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the poly-alpha-olefin insulation lines * Apple's tax bill: Big in Japan. Like, $120m big Cook and Co once again accused of money-shifting shenanigans * World's largest internet exchange sues Germany over mass surveillance DE-CIX questions legality of government tapping its system * Alleged hacker Lauri Love loses extradition case. Judge: Suicide safeguards in place Defence set to appeal decision * It's here! Defence Secretary launches £800m MoD tech creche And not an artisanal Shoreditch hipster startup in sight * MoD confirms award of giant frikkin' laser cannon contract Consortium headed by part-French biz MBDA scoops it * Idris Elba thrashes Night Manager Hiddleston for James Bond job vacancy Reg poll crowns most wanted as next 007 * Swedish appeals court upholds arrest warrant for Julian Assange The saga continues * Brexit will happen. The EU GDPR will happen. You can't avoid either Comply or not, in a few years you'll be able to choose * Two Sundays wrecked by boss who couldn't use a calendar On-Call: What day's that planned outage happening? Just get here anyway, minion! * New ISO standard kind-of explains how to ignore standards Meet ISO/IEC TR 38504 - Guidance for principles-based IT governance * Oracle settles with State of Oregon for US$100m, by locking it in Government hails free licences for PeopleSoft, Hyperion as stuff it could never afford, but desperately needs * Former comms minster Stephen Conroy to leave Parliament 'The NBN is my greatest contribution' says senator in speech detailing trolling Data Centre News * Cisco plugs another 'Shadow Brokers' hole Key exchange 0-day exploited in the wild * Salesforce Einstein: Enterprise AI breakthrough, or CRM Clippy? Cloud house sets lofty goals for deep learning layer * BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon Episode 11: Could it be a virus? Why, user, you should be head of IT. Yes, I said behead * Google: There are three certainties in life - death, taxes and IPv6 CloudFlare Internet Summit: And TCP-killer QUIC, right? Everyone loves QUIC? * First Dell EMC product is a VSAN-in-a-can, aka 'ScaleIO Ready node' Flashy software-defined storage packed into rack-mount servers, but no new bezel design * VMware flings vCenter Server away from Windows, if you want vSphere update adds vCenter Server for Windows to vCenter Server Appliance migration tool Hardware News * iPhone 7's Qualcomm, Intel soap opera dumps a carrier lock-out on us Analysis: Teardown reveals chips in new iThings, confirms love struggle in Cupertino * Rise of the Machines at Sea: The British firm building robot boats RotM: El Reg gets nautical with ASV Global Networks News * T-Mobile USA leaked free access to sites with '/speedtest' in the URL High school slacker hacker gets LTE for free * ICANN latest: Will the internet be owned by Ted Cruz or Vladimir Putin in October? Analysis: Let's check in with the IANA madness * Brave telco giants kill threat of decent internet service in rural North Carolina Citizens told they can't have broadband because something, something, competition Security News * Mozilla will patch zero-day Firefox bug to fiddle man-in-the-middle diddle Researcher revealed Tor flaw after initially being ignored * Let's Encrypt won its Comodo trademark battle - but now fan tools must rename Why the popular letsencrypt.sh is now known as Dehydrated * National Cyber Security Centre to shift UK to 'active' defence Cyber chief calls for 'offensive' weapons * Pramworld admits mailing list breach Spamalot Friday * You call it 'hacking.' I call it 'investigation' Something for the Weekend, Sir?: Let's call the whole thing off * Ransomware scum infect Comic Relief server: Internal systems taken down Nothing funny about stealing from a charity * Researcher says Patch Tuesday fix should have been made earlier Alleges attack allowing targeted Trojans was known long before Redmond's wranglers roped it * Remote hacker nabs Win10 logins in 'won't-fix' Safe Mode* attack *Turns out to be very unsafe mode thanks to this hack Software News * Emacs and Vim both release first new updates in years Updates for vintage text editors are like buses - none for ages then two at once! * Stripped and ready to go: Enterprise Java MicroProfile lands Red Hat and IBM make their microservices play * Audi works with Chinese technology companies to develop intelligent cars Tencent, Alibaba and Baidu join connected transport project * Wanna prove you're a Tech Trailblazer? 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