Uber got a new boss

 Rumor has it that Dara Khosrowshahi, CEO of Expedia, is getting into the driver’s seat. Hint: not a woman. More on that as it develops. [The Hustle]( Mon, Aug 28 Samsung’s honcho is headed to prison Last week, South Korean electronics conglomerate Samsung announced the release of their Note 8 phone, successor to the notorious fire-catching, banned-from-airplanes [Note 7](. Unfortunately for them, the news was usurped by something more… explosive: [Lee Jae-yong]( -- Samsung’s vice-chairman, and de facto boss -- has been sentenced to 5 years in prison for his role in a massive bribery scandal that ultimately led to the impeachment of South Korea’s president. Choi-gate: a brief primer The scandal, known as “Choi-gate,” began to unravel back in late 2016, when [Choi Soon-sil]( a top advisor to ex-South Korean president Park Geun-hye, was accused of leveraging her political connections in a variety of shady ways. This included founding two [“non-profit” foundations]( and pressuring major conglomerates (including Samsung) to donate millions of dollars to them in exchange for business favors. Enter Samsung Lee’s been part of Samsung’s top brass since his father (the current chairman) had a non-fatal heart attack in 2014. [Forbes]( ranked him the 40th most powerful man in the world last year with a net worth of $7B and obvious heir to the family throne. When the opportunity to merge two units of Samsung arose in 2015, Lee saw a chance to strengthen his position of power. But there was just one problem: he had to get the government’s approval. So, he bought them off The courts found Lee guilty of “donating” more than $38m to Choi’s foundation -- including a [$900k horse]( and equestrian training for Choi’s daughter -- in exchange for a sign-off on the merger (which was, of course, approved). On Friday, Lee was found guilty of (among other charges) bribery -- and his team of 28 lawyers weren’t able to stave off his 5-year prison sentence. Despite this and last year’s $3B exploding phone fiasco, Samsung recorded soaring profits ([nearly $10B]( last quarter, and has seen its share price balloon 32%. In a Galaxy of their own  Surprise: apps are still dead in the water There was a time, long ago, when a wantrepreneur could dream up a new app and get a million first-week downloads. That time, my friends, is no more. Media analytics firm comScore recently released its annual [Mobile Apps Report]( and, while Americans are spending more time than ever before on mobile apps, they’re also not downloading new ones. A majority (51%) of all smartphone users report downloading a grand total of zero new apps per month. New apps have been struggling to find success for [several years now]( as the usual ilk command most of mobile users’ attention: Facebook and Google alone account for 8 of the 10 most-used apps. We’ve reached a “saturation point” for apps, where it’s almost impossible for the new kids on the block to break into the game. So, may want to rethink that “Uber, but for migrating narwhals” idea you were about to invest in. [Peak app]( Chipotle put all their eggs in one vegetable… or is it a fruit? Either way, the recently beleaguered fast casual chain is facing another setback: prices for Haas avocados continue to rise, thanks to disappointing harvests in Mexico and California. And considering the green, “good kind of fat” makes up about 10% of Chipotle’s food costs, [experts are projecting]( a material drop in the company’s earnings. Going from green to brown Squeeze the situation as much as you want but the projections aren’t gonna ripen any time soon. The average wholesale price for 48 avocados is sitting at just over $73 -- [more than double]( the August average of $35 over the past 13 years. According to Credit Suisse analyst Jason West, each 10% increase in avocado prices could [drop earnings per share]( 30 cents on an annual basis. The good news? If the alligator pear keeps getting more expensive maybe millennials will stop buying $10 toast and buy houses instead (at least [according to an Australian property mogul](. [Starting an avocado farm](  A new meaning for Netflix and chilllllllllll Netflix has put a lot of effort into building out its selection of “Late Night Comedies” (AKA, stoner movies) -- and now, the company wants to make them a little more enjoyable for you. This past weekend, in what is surely one of the strangest side-projects in the history of the tech industry, the streaming video company unleashed its [own line of cannabis strains](. No joke... Dubbed “The Netflix Collection,” the company’s marijuana varieties were developed for an August 25 - 27 pop-up event at the West Hollywood-based dispensary, [Alternative Herbal Health Services](. “Each strain was cultivated with the specific shows in mind, designed to complement each title based on their tone,” Netflix wrote in a [press release](. “Sillier shows may be more indica dominant, while dramedies will be more sativa dominant to help the more powerful scenes resonate.” Strains include Banana Stand Kush (Arrested Development), Poussey Riot (Orange is the New Black), Moon 13 (Mystery Science Theater 3000), and Prickly Muffin (Bojack Horseman) -- and Netflix won’t be taking a profit from any of them. Blazing the way Netflix’s move is a clear publicity stunt for their new show, Disjointed, in which a longtime weed advocate finally gets to open her own dispensary. But it also seems to be a subtle political statement. Though medical marijuana is legal in California, it remains a prohibited substance under federal law and, for a major tech company to (even playfully) endorse a line of its own weed strains is a pretty ballsy move. Unfortunately, it’s still not going to make Amy Schumer’s [Netflix special]( funny. [Weed Hastings](  monday morning review Some fresh faces Despite our best efforts, The Hustle family continues to grow and we couldn’t be more excited for our new teammates joining the cause. In no particular order other than appreciation of Keanu Reeves movies, here are the latest suckers who will help keep everyone warm through the long winter. Reminds me of something father used to say, “When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.” Becca Sherman, Client Success A friend of the company, Becca’s going to make sure everyone we work with is super happy. Not like ‘found a $20 bill in an old pair of pants’ happy. More along the lines of ‘[nailing the last line]( from The Next Episode’ happy. Keanu pick: The Matrix. Jay Warner, Growth Ambassadors may recognize Jay from his frequent, insightful contributions to the Facebook group ([4 referrals gets you access]( shameless plug). He’ll be helping us spread to the Internet’s nooks and crannies to find more people like your beautiful selves. Keanu pick: The Replacements. Wes Schlagenhauf, Writer Our newest addition to the editorial team. So new, in fact, he has yet to grace us with his movie preferences. He’ll join our talented team doing their darndest to switch back and forth between Samsung corporate scandal and avocado jokes. Keanu pick: ???. This edition of The Hustle was brought to you by Your nightmare is real It’s 6 p.m. and you’re in a cold sweat. You only have 2 hours until your friends show up for your monthly “movie night potluck”, but you’ve been procrastinating buying groceries all month. Now all you have is a fridge full of condiments. Which wouldn’t be such a big deal if you didn’t get a little braggy on the group chat and talk about how your fish tacos were going to “make them cry real tears of joy.” Tough to show up with just a bowl of guacamole after that… Show off to your friends, and cook [restaurant-level meals]( Plated makes that easy. The meal kit was designed for foodies, by foodies. And by foodies we mean Elana Karp, Plated’s [head chef]( who trained at THE Cordon Bleu (ever heard of it?). Plated takes the convenience factor of the growing meal kit industry, and [levels it up]( to where your friends and family will be wowed. No more average meals. So if you have a potluck coming up -- or just enjoy eating really, really good food -- then head over to Plated, and get 50% off your first week [using this link](. Save your tears for the movie.  0 REFERRALS [  BECOME AN AMBASSADOR WHEN PEOPLE SIGN UP USING YOUR LINK Lindsey Quinn WRITER Kamran Rosen WRITER Zack Crockett WRITER John "Ice dragon" Havel BACKSEAT EDITOR Stu Grody OFFICE CLEANER [SUBSCRIBE]( [JOBS]( [ADVERTISE]( [EVENTS]( You opted in by signing up, attending an event, or through divine intervention. [771 CLEMENTINA STREET, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94103, UNITED STATES]( • [415.506.7210](tel:+1-415-506-7210) Never wanna hear from us again? Break our hearts and [unsubscribe](