It's gold, Jerry!

Netflix has signed Seinfeld and a bunch of other A-list comedians to corner the stand-up market. [The Hustle] Thur, Jan 19 Comedians on Netflix getting paid On Tuesday, Netflix announced that it had signed a [production deal with Jerry Seinfeld], which includes 2 exclusive stand-up specials and both new and old episodes of his show, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. This comes just days after they got [Amy Schumer on board] for a special of her own, and just months after [Chris Rock] and [Dave Chappelle] signed on for multiple stand-up exclusives. Expensive, but effective Chappelle and Rock will make [$20m per stand-up special]. No word yet on Seinfeld and Schumer, but one would assume they’ll get paid a similar, if not equal, amount. Are these jokesters really worth that much paper? Absolutely, and here are 2 reasons why: Number one, even if all of these specials bomb harder than [Jonah Hill in 22 Jump Street], Netflix still gets a ton of press and new subscribers. Take Chappelle -- this dude hasn’t done a comedy special in 12 years, so all of his fans will surely be tuning in. Don’t believe us? Well, when he returned to TV in November to host SNL, he delivered the [highest ratings of the season] and the best 18-49 ratings for the show since 2013. Number two… By signing these 4 deals, Netflix not only expands its comedy lineup but also steals some of the biggest names in the industry away from HBO, one of its largest competitors. Chris Rock’s filmed several specials for the premium cable channel, Chappelle did his first ever stand-up special for them in 2000, and last year, Schumer won an Emmy for hers (that Rock directed). Now, Netflix is outbidding them (and everyone else) en route to becoming the destination for comics. Oh, and did we mention they now have [94m subscribers] following their best quarter (for growth) ever? Things are going well. Heck, even Newman’s signed up! [I’m Rick James, b*tch] Slack wants to take things outside In the fight against oppressive email chains, it seems Slack’s greatest threat is itself. As the chat platform becomes more complex with team channels, private messages, and an ever-growing list of “slash commands,” it risks becoming the very thing it rails against -- a cluttered messaging system. So, to keep channels clean and simple, Slack has unveiled “[threaded messaging]” to encourage teams to take their tangents outside the group chat (channels), to a place called… the “flex plane.” WTF is the flex plane? Great question. It’s a side panel to the right of each channel with additional tools and information. According to Slack, you’ll be able to start a new thread by [clicking a button] (watch the GIF if you’re confused) next to a teammate’s individual message and get whisked away with them to a nested, or “threaded” conversation based on that specific topic. “I’m gonna need an example…” Sure. Say you and the marketing team are talking about your typical business stuff; briefcases, important faxes, PowerPoints, etc. Then out of nowhere, Tom makes a terrible joke. 3/10 pun. You need to tell him how awful it is, but instead of burying the group in all your sick burns, you can just pop into a thread and start roasting the sh*t out of him. More constructively, you can also use threads to ask clarifying questions about a particular project or collaborate to solve a problem. But mostly the roast thing. [Damn it, Tom.] Last call for lawsuits In the last days of the Obama Administration, 2 huge US government agencies are bringing the hammer down on Silicon Valley. But it may be too little too late. The lawsuits will pit the Federal Trade Commission against Qualcomm and the US Department of Labor against Oracle before the changing of the guard. Here’s a quick rundown of what’s at stake: First up: The FTC vs. Qualcomm The FTC claims that the mobile chip maker “[strong-armed]” Apple into using its hardware, and as a result, its competitors like WiMAX are now sleepin’ with the fishes. According to the suit, Qualcomm essentially bribed Apple with billions in discounts, provided they maintained exclusive rights to their business. If proven, this is a textbook example of an illegal monopoly. It’s also a huge reason mobile providers like Sprint got burned after making [huge bets on the WiMAX network], rather than the now-dominant LTE (based on Qualcomm technology). Next: The Dept. of Labor vs. Oracle The government body is now suing Oracle for “discriminatory employment practices,” including systematically paying white men more than women, African American, and Asian workers in the same role. As punishment, the Dept. of Labor is calling for the cancellation of all Oracle’s federal contracts. Unfortunately, these only represent a tiny sliver of the company’s revenue (mere millions of their [$37B in 2016]). Plus, Oracle had already begun the process of [cutting down its government contracts] on its own. Presumably, because they’re causing them more trouble than they’re worth. [Gotta love lawsuits] This just in: LinkedIn’s got a new website This morning, LinkedIn [unveiled its new desktop redesign], which aims to reduce the clutter by making it as simple as possible to move around the website. There are now 7 sections to navigate through: Home (news feed), messaging, jobs, notifications, me (profile page), my network, and search. And newer projects like [LinkedIn Learning], which the company hopes to push much harder in the future, are much easier to locate. As for private messaging and the news feed, in particular… The company made some significant changes that make it feel eerily similar to Facebook. For one-on-one conversations, there is now a real-time messaging interface at the bottom of every page (just like Facebook), plus [chat bots] to suggest conversation topics or how to “break the ice.” Then there’s the news feed, which will feature a lot more content aimed specifically for you -- both organic and sponsored (yup, LinkedIn’s ramping up its ads game, and will be [collecting more data on you] to do so). Alright, so here’s our take on this: By making itself feel more like Facebook, it’s clear that LinkedIn wants users to visit the site more frequently and stay there for longer periods of time. In other words, the company’s ready to evolve from “that place you go to stalk a potential hire or congratulate Kevin on his work anniversary (Yay, Kevin!)” to a place where you actually hang out, read articles, and engage with fellow professionals. Will this strategy work? Tough to say. On the one hand, we could all use a cat video-free news feed. On the other, do we really need another social network to browse, swipe, and click our lives away on? We were kind of enjoying LinkedIn as a “check it once a week” kind of thing. That said, the nagging emails (people are looking at your profile!) were getting to be a bit much. So, if this revamp makes LinkedIn less desperate for visitors, we’re all for it. [Seriously, chill with the emails] things you should... ATTEND: Pizza & 40s, FREE Attention SF readers: Our next Pizza & 40s event is happening on Tuesday, January 31st in Soma. We’re thrilled to have best-selling author, entrepreneur, and investor Scott Belsky joining us. [WOULD LOVE TO SEE Y’ALL THERE →] READ: Our interview with Ramit Sethit, also free Last week, we sat down with the founder of I Will Teach You To Be Rich to talk about scaling a business. Entrepreneurs, you’ll want to read this. Non-entrepreneurs, you’ll enjoy it, too. 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