There are only two certainties in life...

 Taxes, and talking about crypto. [The Hustle]( Wed, Mar 21 Brought to you by [Launchpeer]( flint for your startup tinder. The taxman is coming for crypto investors,  and coiners are freaking out To say the crypto market is volatile would be an understatement -- Bitcoin’s [price]( went from $997 at the beginning of 2017 to over $19k in December, only to plummet to around $8k on Monday. Some were smart to cash out at its peak, but, as it turns out, the taxman doesn’t reward people for their ability to get out while the gettin’s good, and now investors have been hit with a big ol’ tax bill their depreciated coins can’t cash. Tears of a Redditor Under the [heading]( “I just discovered that I owe the IRS $50k that I don’t have, because I traded in cryptos. Am I f*cked?” Reddit-user Thoway explained they were blindsided with a $50k tax hit after selling $120k worth of bitcoin at its peak to buy different coins. It’s as if reality and pretend have collided for Thoway, who reportedly makes [$47k]( a year as an office assistant in real life and can’t afford to pay his crypto-dominated tax bill now that the value of his “coins” have dropped to $30k. Taxes and crypto: 2 things nobody knows anything about In 2014, the IRS [announced]( they started viewing cryptocurrency as a property -- not a currency -- meaning anything purchased or sold using a digital asset is susceptible to be taxed as a capital gain. You could be taxed less depending on if your gains were long-term or short-term: Short-term transactions (holding onto digital assets less than one year) can be taxed as high as [39.6%]( though holding out longer than a year and a day could mean a lower rate. “But I never got a 1099??” -- Right, turns out crypto brokers don’t have to issue 1099s; unfortunately that doesn’t mean the investor isn’t responsible for reporting their gains. “Mercy me, Mr. Taxman, I know not what I gained” Still not sure? Put simply (by ripping off the Michael Jordan of comedy himself, Jeff Foxworthy): you [might]( owe taxes on crypto if… - You sold crypto for cash - You bought anything using crypto - You traded crypto for other crypto - You were compensated in crypto Sorry coiners, demz da rules. Godspeed come April. The house always wins  Claire’s gets pierced by private equity -- files for Chapter 11 After more than 10 years of struggling to stay in business, Claire’s, the finest purveyor of 50-stud earring packs, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. But don’t go rushing to stock up on mood rings just yet -- they’re not planning on going out of business. Instead, they hope to use the bankruptcy filing to rebound and reduce their $2.1B debt 90% by pivoting to online retail and using their brick and mortar locations solely as ear piercing parlors, which they believe will bring customers in-store. Claire’s rode the private equity train to the brink of bankruptcy Back in 2007, the private equity firm Apollo Management took the piercing palace private via a [$3.1B]( leveraged buyout (a deal in which the acquirer [finances a buyout with borrowed money]( and uses the purchased company’s assets as collateral). Because of high interest rates and the chain’s lukewarm cash flows, Claire’s hasn’t been able to take off the gaudy debt choker that was fastened around their neck over 10 years ago. They’re not the first company to fall prey to this tactic Toys R Us suffered the same fate after a leveraged buyout in 2005 that cost them [$183M]( in advisory fees to its private owners. Last year, over 50 US retailers filed for bankruptcy after rolling over their debt from their leveraged buyouts. And the retail merchant of death shows no signs of slowing: Analysts predict another [$6B]( in retail debt will mature this year alone. [Merchant of Death is our new metal band](  Google launches a $300m initiative to help news publishers get it right Hot off the digital presses: Google [announced]( they are launching the Google News Initiative (GNI) in an effort to assist journalism in the age of fake news. Over the next three years, the tech giant will put more than [$300m]( toward building products that help create sustainable business models for news outlets while hoping to elevate quality journalism. The truth: a hot market trend As of late, Google, Facebook, and Twitter have endured intense (and just) [scrutiny]( by allowing the spread of false and sometimes malevolent information that may have even influenced political elections. Last week, Facebook was caught in a furious kerfuffle following a whistleblower’s account of the social media giant allegedly selling [50m+]( users’ data to an analytics firm working for the Trump campaign at the time of the election; on Monday, the scandal caused shares of the entire tech sector to plummet on Wall Street. In other words, Google’s timing on this announcement couldn’t have been better.  [G for journalism](  The Sims’ creator is making a game “of self-discovery" based on your real memories Game designer Will Wright, creator of The Sims, has come out of years of hibernation to announce his latest project: an [ambitious game called Proxi]( in which players can “build games based on their memories.” The idea is for your experiences, called “mems,” to be displayed in playable scenes, and clumped in themed areas for things like “childhood,” “holidays,” and other real world tie-ins. What’s this all gonna look like? Nobody knows -- not even Wright. Instead, he’s [kicking off a contest]( to develop the art for the game, with the promise of hiring the winner full time as Proxi’s 3D artist. You know what they say, if you can’t do, crowdsource. But, we’ve been burned before… Some of us remember Wright’s last ambitious game from ’08, Spore, which he touted as the “ultimate game,” in which players could evolve their character from a single-cell organism into an intelligent species capable of space travel. Some of us may have even pre-ordered it, and waited patiently for it to change their lives forever. And some of us were [highly disappointed]( when the actual game turned out to be nothing more than a few glorified minigames cobbled together in an overhyped shell of [what the demo promised](. Some of us may (or may not) work at The Hustle… [People don’t forget, Will](  UPDATE: Bumble tells Match “no means no” Bumble sent an email to their users this morning that makes it pretty clear where they stand on Match’s acquisition-by-lawsuit strategy: “We’ll never be yours. No matter the price tag, we’ll never compromise our values… We swipe left on your assumption that a baseless lawsuit would intimidate us.” *Pause for fist-pumping and “whoop whoop-ing”* There was speculation that Bumble rejected Match’s previous acquisition attempt due to their rocky history with the company, and this is definitive proof that Bumble hasn’t forgiven or forgotten -- and they’re not rolling over any time soon. [Read the full email here](  Want to get Away? Pack your ba-- oh wait. No suitcase? Let’s fix that. We're giving away two Away suitcases packed to the gills in hand-picked prizes by us. What type of prizes? Could be anything from Keanu Reeves headshots to Sam’s hamper. We promise you’ll love it. How do you enter? Here are the deets: Every person you refer via your ambassador link ( between now and March 31st earns you an entry to win 2 [Away suitcases]( (e.g., 10 friends = 10 entries). That’s it. Refer your friends, score some swag and a case to carry it in. Easy. THE FINE PRINT: Have some integrity. We know when you cheat and, frankly, we hate that sh*t (and will disqualify spammers at our discretion).  deals deals deals - [20% off MVMT's brand NEW sunglasses]( for the next 24 hours. Use code: DEALS20 * - [First 50 signups get FREE tickets + 90% OFF after]( at Cryptopalooza (4/12) in San Francisco for $10 (originally $99). Use code HUSTLE * - [50% off any canvas or framed prints]( (upload any image/text) at CanvasPop. Use code: HUSTLE50 * - [50% off almost everything]( at Gap. Use code: GOBIG for an additional 20% off - [Packable 20L daypack]( at Eddie Bauer for $15.00 (was $30.00) - [EastPoint foldable ping pong table]( at Walmart for $90.00 (originally $249.99) - [8TB WD hard drive]( at eBay for $179.99 (originally $299.99) * Advertised deal exclusive to The Hustle. They paid us, to save you $$$. This edition of The Hustle was brought to you by Behold, “the calculator for startups” The startup sages at Launchpeer [built a calculator]( for launching startups. In a few questions, it’ll show you how much that great idea will cost to get off the ground and, surprisingly, it’s less than you think. Don’t believe us? [Try it out for yourself]( The Launchpeer team is standing by, ready to breathe life into your napkin business -- or whatever else you have up your sleeve. Estimate today, build tomorrow, pay later Spec the project using the[Launchpeer calculator]( then let their team of developers, growth hackers, and marketing magicians get to work. Plus, Launchpeer will work with you to spread out the cost over time -- no need to drop all your dough at once. That means you can get your app, website, anything up and running earning, faster, and [pay it off as you go](. It’s the startup of your cubicle dreams, without selling your prized stamp collection. See your idea take shape today with the [Launchpeer calculator](.   0 [SHARE THE HUSTLE]( REFERRALS [ YOUR UNIQUE URL Zack Crockett NEWS WRITER Wes Schlagenhauf NEWS WRITER Kolby Hatch AD WRITER [Lindsey “Spore made me a creationist” Quinn]( MANAGING EDITOR Marcia DePenguins STAFF ORNITHOLOGIST [SUBSCRIBE]( [JOBS]( [ADVERTISE]( [EVENTS]( [SHOP]( [Join our Facebook community →]( You opted in by signing up, attending an event, or through divine intervention. 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