Fox and Disney, sittin’ in a $66B tree...

 M-E-R-G-I-N-G. [The Hustle]( Fri, Dec 15 Brought to you by [Elysium Health]( longer lasting human battery. We screwed up: Yesterday, in our “Things You Should” section, one of our writers recommended buying bitcoin and accidentally linked to his own Coinbase account instead of the site’s homepage. We work hard to make sure that our editorial duties and our product recommendations remain independent of each other -- and we apologize for the error. The FCC repealed net neutrality yesterday -- but the fight’s not over yet Yesterday, the Federal Communications Commission voted 3-2 to undo the [net neutrality regulations]( put in place by the Obama Administration in 2015. The regulations defined the internet as a public utility and prevented internet service providers from charging more money, blocking access to sites at their discretion, and picking and choosing the content people can see online. But with these rules set to be repealed in 2 weeks, all that could change. We might be looking at a new era of internet FCC Chairman Ajit Pai says reversing net neutrality will help consumers and promote competition by giving service providers like Comcast “more incentive to build networks.” But critics argue that the barrier of entry into telecommunications -- which includes installing millions of cables and poles -- is too high for new competition to enter the market and that it will only strengthen the oligopoly of Comcast and AT&T. One thing is clear: these internet gatekeepers will no longer be barred from slowing down content -- and they can now charge popular websites like Netflix and Facebook more money for [faster delivery]( We do have one thing on our side: opposition is tremendous A recent University of Maryland survey showed that [83% of Americans]( opposed the FCC’s repeal. In the internet’s social hubs -- Reddit, Facebook, Twitter -- hundreds of thousands of people are standing up against the ruling: 1.2m calls to Congress have been placed through pro-net neutrality site, [Battle for the Net]( and 2m+ more have signed petitions on [Change.org](. And on the legal front, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has already announced a multi-state lawsuit [challenging the vote](. What else can be done to reverse this decision? The FCC’s ruling is really just the beginning of a protracted legal and political battle: the future of the internet won’t be determined so easily. Congress could respond to our calls for action by invoking the [Congressional Review Act]( and petitioning for a reversal. The nation’s federal courts could also issue a stay on the ruling and pick apart the “substantive errors” in the FCC’s decision. Long story short: if you feel the ruling is wrong… Don’t Stop Believin’  Monster merger: Disney to acquire Fox Superheros. Jedis. Inanimate objects talking -- these are everyone’s favorite things. And now Disney owns all of them. Yesterday, the media juggernaut announced their plan to buy 21st Century Fox for over [$66B]( the [second-largest merger]( this year. The deal will include Fox’s movie studios, networks Nat Geo and FX, and a [60%]( stake in Hulu, among other things. And they’re waging war on Netflix In Disney’s all-out media domination, if (and when) this deal goes through, they can finally check “streaming market” off their bucket list. This merger will allow Disney to sell a trifecta of streaming services: a sports streaming platform, Hulu, and in 2019, their own [mega movie and TV subscription service]( But, history says this deal may not be such a slam-dunk While shareholders are obviously happy, history has shown time and time again that mega-mergers usually destroy a company’s [value]( over time. According to a report from [Accenture]( market returns on acquisitions valued over $25B tend to perform worse (usually between 7% and 12%) than smaller ones. That said… you try telling Disney they shouldn’t do something. [The House of Mouse](  Pet “influencers” confirm what we always knew: we trust dogs more than ourselves The ad industry has a new vertical: “[animal influencers]( reserved for celebrity pets with millions of Instagram followers. The market first came to prominence with the promotion of pet startups like Barkbox, and now companies from Google to Ralph Lauren are using pets to sell human brands -- because as it turns out, animal influencers get more engagement than human bloggers. People are raking in $1k per pup post With 100k followers, [Mochi]( a 3-year-old “Maltipoo” has deals with Ralph Lauren, The Ritz-Carlton, Amex, Google, and Disney, and her owner (who works about 3-5 hours a week on Mochi’s brand) says advertisers pay around $100 for every 10k followers. By those numbers, that means heavy-hitters like [Marnie the dog]( (2.1m followers) and [Tuna]( (1.9m followers) are bringing in $200k a pop. There’s even a talent agency to manage them [The Dog Agency]( has 100 clients -- all “influential animals,” including dogs, cats, pigs, and hedgehogs, with hundreds of thousands of followers. And TDA’s brand doesn’t stop there: it also has its own arm of pet content called “Pet Insider,” as well as a [line of high-fashion clothing items]( called “Chewsy,” designed “for the discerning pet.” Among this season’s looks: a $55 “Catty Velour Pullover,” and a $42 “Sunday Brunch Long Sleeve.” If these animals only knew… [Dog buns are the new man buns](  Subway is bringing back the $5 footlong and franchisees are NOT into it To get butts in the seats, Subway has decided to bring back their long-time promotional mainstay: the [$5 footlong](. For nearly a decade, the deal featured one 12-inch sub each day at a discounted $5 price until, like all great fan-favorite promotions, it met its demise in 2016. And now it’s back because Subway is strugglin’ According to an internal memo, Subway’s traffic has slowed [25%]( over the last five years. In 2016, their sales fell 1.7%, and for the first time in the company’s history, the sandwich haven closed more stores than it opened, dropping 359 locations in the US. That’s a lot of out of work “sandwich artists.” The $5 deal is an effort to entice customers like the days of old -- but, alas, the snake always eats its own tail: more than 400 franchisees have signed a [petition]( against the deal, claiming that $5 footlongs are what “decimated” their business in the first place. Keeping up with the “price war” In [2018]( many fast food staples have decided to lower their prices to slow the fast food decline. McDonald’s recently announced they’re bringing back their illustrious Dollar Menu, which was nixed back in 2013 at the behest of McDonald’s franchisees for the same reason: these deals kill sales. But for these corporations, that’s a risk they’re willing to take. Because at the end of the day… fast food ain’t gonna eat itself. [Help a sandwich artist out](   friday shower thoughts - Cell phones have greatly reduced bathroom graffiti. - Shirts are crazy. Your body goes in 1 hole and comes out of 3. - Before cameras, no one knew exactly what they looked like with their eyes closed. - If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it's always perfume. - The bigger you are, the better chance you have of winning 'Spin the Bottle.’ - via [Reddit]( This edition of The Hustle was brought to you by The fragile psych of Father Time Elysium Health doesn’t want to “cure” aging - they’re just on a mission to keep your body in tip-top shape for longer. It's a lofty goal, no doubt -- and they’re not there yet. But the scientists and research team at Elysium Health have encapsulated the first step in healthy aging: NAD+. You can find the [lengthy scientific name]( but we’ll save you the click. Basically, NAD+ is the raw material every cell in your body needs to do, well, their job. Name a bodily function, and NAD+ is probably working in the background to keep things purring. Now, [Elysium Health]( wants to bring the science of NAD+ to everyone. One pill, full of the stuff your cells need Elysium Health’s flagship product, Basis, is the only NAD+ supplement whose two ingredients [have been found]( to increase NAD+ levels by 40%. It’s the stuff your cells need, delivered in capsule form. And for aging parents, [it’s the gift]( of the 2017 holiday season. Cruise over to [Elysium Health]( to see the deets and legal gumbo -- but don’t tell Father Time we sent you.  0 [SHARE THE HUSTLE]( REFERRALS Lindsey Quinn MANAGING EDITOR Zack Crockett WRITER Wes Schlagenhauf WRITER Sam “Animal influencer” Parr EDITORIAL EAVESDROPPER Les Ismore CAPITAL DEPRECIATION FUND [SUBSCRIBE]( [JOBS]( [ADVERTISE]( [EVENTS]( You opted in by signing up, attending an event, or through divine intervention. 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