Livin in a meatball paradise

 Execs at TaskRabbit are gonna be eating a lot more lingonberries... [The Hustle]( Fri, Sep 29 Ikea makes a gig economy play The home furnishings giant (and [meatball paradise]( just [acquired]( the contract labor company TaskRabbit for an undisclosed sum. Reportedly, TaskRabbit, which has raised $50m to date and is currently profitable, will operate as an independent subsidiary at Ikea and the company’s current CEO, Stacy Brown-Philpot, will stay onboard, along with her staff. The deal makes a whole lot of sense -- the most commonly requested task on TaskRabbit is literally [assembling Ikea furniture]( -- and it’ll finally give Ikea customers respite from the [hellish experience]( of putting together a Hemnes dresser on their own. Giggity giggity Launched back in 2008 as RunMyErrand, TaskRabbit was one of the first “gig economy” companies, relying on a vast swath of part-time workers to carry out various tasks for people in return for small sums of money. Today, the company only has about 60 employees, and the backbone of its business is the 60k independent workers who use the platform to make extra cash (or scrape together a living). Why is this a good move for Ikea? This works out a few ways for the Swedish company. First, they’re feeling the heat from Amazon’s recently-bolstered home goods offerings, and they’ve been looking for a way to boost up their [digital arm]( to compete. But it also seems like a long-overdue answer to their customers’ main gripe: assembling Ikea furniture is a major [pain in the ass]( In [2012]( the company started offering YouTube videos that give tutorials on the assembly of some of their more difficult offerings, but with TaskRabbit, they’ll have the resources to offer a speedier, better alternative for anti-DIY’ers. Fits together like parts F-12 and A-3  The guy who brought McDonald’s to India is raging against the Mac-chine 62-year-old [Vikram Bakshi]( managing director of Connaught Place Restaurants Limited (CPRL), first brought the Big Mac to India as a franchisee in 1996 -- and McDonald’s has been [trying to push him out]( ever since. India’s growing middle class makes it an especially lucrative market for multinationals like Mickey D’s -- and back in ‘08, they tried to buy Bakshi out for a measly $5m, but lil’ Vikky refused, citing evidence that his share was actually worth $331m. So McD’s fired him In 2013, the chain [tried to oust him]( from CPRL, alleging mismanagement of finances, and that he had leased out his property to a rival company. But Notorious Vikram B. wasn’t going down that easy: he sued to be reinstated (claiming “oppression and mismanagement), have his stake revalued -- and to maintain control of 169 branches without interference from corporate. In other words, Vickmaster Flex has gone rogue, and there’s not much Ronald, Hamburglar, or anyone else can do about it. Except cut off his ketchup supply McDonald’s has been pressuring Baby Got Bakshi’s suppliers to stop shipping to CPRL, and in August, his ketchup supplier, Cremica Food, [stopped sending product]( without warning, and his tomato supplier has done the same. Last year, an Indian court finally agreed to advance McDonald’s case, and Vikky Minaj is due to appear on October 25th. In the meantime, he’ll be slangin’ burgers sans condiments. [Old Dirty Bakshi](  H&M made a boo boo In its latest [earnings report]( the Swedish clothing retailers acknowledged that it might have sliiightly overestimated how much shopping people actually do in-store. It’s hitting their bottom line hard -- their profits have dropped around 20% compared to this time last year. In the midst of this kerfuffle, CEO Karl-Johan Persson has finally stepped out of his cryogenic chamber, with this sage realization: “The fashion retail sector is growing and is in a period of extensive and rapid change as a result of ongoing digitalisation.” Yeah, Karl… it is As of July, H&M had a global store count of 4,133, and for the last few years, their in-store profits have dropped pretty rapidly. That was all supposed to change in February when it announced it would be expanding e-commerce into more markets, but while their e-commerce sales have been growing, it’s still a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of cash their stores have been hemorrhaging. Looks like it’s time for some adjusting H&M plans to close around 90 stores this year to correct for their overestimation, but they’re still going to [open more new stores]( than it closes, focusing only on regions where there is room to grow. And as far as finally moving their business model into this decade, they plan to be online in 43 new markets by the end of the year. [The shoes… they’re in the computer…](  Pornhub lends the blind a handy Last year, the world’s leading adult site made headlines when they introduced a “[Described Video]( category for the blind, giving an extensive description of each video through a scripted voiceover. Now, they’re thrusting their efforts to help the visually impaired even further by offering enlarged text, customized colors, and [keyboard shortcuts](. Pulling out all the stops According to Chris Danielsen, Director of Public Relations at the [National Federation of the Blind]( screen-reader technology is dated and can’t accurately read or analyze pictures. But Pornhub’s screen-reader will now recite the name of the link or button, enabling the user to better, uh… enjoy his or her experience. Setting the example While there are obviously some moral issues surrounding the adult industry, Pornhub has historically positioned itself as a socially responsible digital spank bank. Back in 2014, they launched the ‘Give America Wood’ campaign, promising to plant a tree for every 100 porn videos watched. To date, they’ve spread more seed than [Johnny]( himself ([13,471]( trees, to be exact). The ‘hub is the 38th largest site on the internet, and they wield a tremendously big stick when it comes to setting an example on the internet. It’s nice to occasionally see them put that big stick to good use. [Wearing the nice-guy pants](   friday shower thoughts - It's not fair that coffee stains your teeth brown, but milk doesn't stain them white. - Mosquitoes are essentially used, flying, dirty needles. - Picking up a tiny piece of paper would take 2 seconds, but instead, we run it over 100 times with a vacuum at different angles. - I bet the person who invented the car cigarette lighter never dreamed it would one day be used to charge a cigarette. - I wonder if Gordon Ramsay lays in bed at night thinking of metaphors for undercooked foods and snickers to himself. - via [Reddit]( This edition of The Hustle was brought to you by [This stock picture]( raises more questions than it answers Why is she holding that corn cob? Where did she get that sick cyclops visor? And most importantly -- who is this for?? As a marketer, searching for a stock photo of something as simple as “coffee and a computer,” feels like entering a Hollywood set builder’s fever dream: ridiculous props, absurd contexts, and actors who look like they got kidnapped from a Sunoco -- all with terrible lighting. [Storyblocks]( has 400k+ good photos to choose from Not just whatever they have in “stock.” Their platform has thousands of high-quality photos -- ones with great composition, realistic settings, and natural lighting, that look like pictures a real photographer would take. And the best part is, they won’t blow your marketing budget. [Storyblock’s membership]( is just $99 per year -- instead of the arm and a leg most of us are used to paying for quality stock photography. Level up your company website or landing pages without spending hours, or thousands on custom photos -- Get 7 days of free downloads when you sign up for a [Storybook trial here](. And yes, they do have artsy [pictures of corn]( if you’re into that kind of thing.  0 [SHARE THE HUSTLE]( REFERRALS Lindsey Quinn MANAGING EDITOR Zack Crockett WRITER Wes Schlagenhauf WRITER Sam "I hate Gurus" Parr EDITORIAL EAVESDROPPER Twinny Yait Tuthree COMEBACK SPECIALIST [SUBSCRIBE]( [JOBS]( [ADVERTISE]( [EVENTS]( You opted in by signing up, attending an event, or through divine intervention. [771 CLEMENTINA STREET, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94103, UNITED STATES]( • [415.506.7210](tel:+1-415-506-7210) Never wanna hear from us again? Break our hearts and [unsubscribe](