Everything we canât stop loving, hating, and thinking about this week in pop culture.
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New This Week - Rihanna is risen. - Ben Affleck speaks for the people. - We all need Harrison Fordâs energy. - 1,040 pages of perfection. - The new Holy Trinity. Who else is excited for the major TV event on Sunday, the one that will capture the attention of the entire globe and likely set new viewership records? Iâm referring, of course, to theâ¦Rihanna concert. LOL! Iâm so silly. Bet you havenât heard that joke before, a non-sports person referring to the Super Bowl as the [halftime show performer](âs concert. So clever. So novel. So Prince-melting-our-faces-off-with-his-rain-soaked-guitar-solo in 2007. Yet here we (and two-thirds of the internet) are, recycling the silly line that weâve used so many times beforeâwhen Beyoncé, [Katy Perry](, Madonna, [J. Lo, Shakira](, and [Lady Gaga]( performed, especiallyâabout how excited we are for the 20-minute showcase for a pop icon, dismissing the biggest event in all of sports thatâs the actual reason for it. In my defense, I could not tell you what teams are actually playing in Sunday nightâs game, though I keep catching my New York Giants-loving family members muttering âdamn Eaglesâ¦â under their breath, so I suspect Philadelphia is one of them. (Look at me, an investigative journalist.) While that specific joke is admittedly tired, there is something amusing about how big the pop-culture accouterments to what was once supposed to be merely a good game of football have become. Itâs like an outfit where the hat, jewelry, handbag, andâI donât knowâfur cape on top of it all obscure the fact that thereâs actually clothes to be seen underneath. Coco Chanel said to take one thing off before you leave the house. The NFL said, screw that; put about 16 more things on and make them loud, garish, and noticeable. From that perspective, thinking about Sunday night is almost overwhelming. The Super Bowl is no longer just one major event. Itâs like a dozen of them, back to back. Itâs no longer just the national anthem thatâs the pre-show draw. (Country singer [Chris Stapleton is singing it]( this year, and I look forward to finding out who, exactly, he is.) There are now multiple performances before the coin toss. [Abbott Elementary Emmy-winner]( and Broadway veteran Sheryl Lee Ralph will [give her rendition]( of âLift Every Voice and Sing.â There is now a concert before the half of the game before the concert before the second-half of the game. Thatâs a lot of pressure to put on RiRi. Whatâs been remarkable in these past years is that, with the exception of acts like [Justin Timberlake]( and [Maroon 5]( (ban men from performing at the Super Bowl!), the performers have managed to transcend almost impossible expectations and hype for their performances. In 2013, Beyoncé brought in Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland from Destinyâs Child as well as an army of backup dancers for a stunning display of choreography that was perhaps a greater feat of athleticism than the football playersâ on the field. 2015 Katy Perry rode in on a skyscraper-sized tiger, brought in Missy Elliott, and then belted her face off while flying through the air during âFirework.â For the 2017 show, Lady Gaga turned the arena into an unparalleled showcase for her breadth of musicianship and talent. And in 2020, Jennifer Lopez and Shakira just about set their stage on fire with their energy, complete with a surprise rendition of âBorn in the USAâ and political commentary about immigrant children being kept in cages. Not only does Rihanna have those performances as precedent to live up to, but thereâs also the added anticipation given the fact that, outside of those snooze-inducing [Black Panther: Wakanda Forever songs](, the star hasnât released new music in six years, and hasnât performed a medley on stage since the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards. ([Watch it here](.) Thatâs the kind of build up that makes it so that nothing and no one could possibly fulfill expectations, barring an appearance from the second coming of Jesus himself. Of course, this isnât anyone. This is Rihanna. Her booking makes sense. The halftime show has doubled as occasion to crown a performer music royalty, an icon in a different stratosphere than their peers. The fact that Rihannaâs was so ubiquitous and sheâs been absent from the stage for so long certainly elevates her appearance Sunday to an event status on par with those other stars who slayed the gig before her. There are, of course, people who will rightfully point out that Rihanna took a noble and necessary political stance when she had previously been offered the halftime show gig and turned it down in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick. âI couldnât be a sellout,â [she said](. Some claim hypocrisy now that, after [Jay Zâs diversity summit]( with the NFL, she is taking the gig. That argument is as fair as the one that this could be the best halftime show weâve seen yet. It remains to be seen if sheâs going to perform new music. In an [interview last fall](, she said, âSuper Bowl is one thing. New music is another thing. Do you hear that fans? The second that I announced this, I said, âOh, my God, theyâre going to think my album is coming. I need to get to work.ââ But a teaser trailer she released revolved almost entirely around fan excitement over the possibility of a new song. ([Watch it here](.) While that would be a major moment, itâs almost too stressful to think about how a new song would fit into an already cramped setlist. It was revealed Thursday that Rihannaâs performance will be 13 minutes, a length of time that has the Navy (the term for the community of Rihanna fans) baffled. As [one fan tweeted](: âIf Rihanna got 8 albums and 14 number 1 hits how in the hell she only got 13 minutes for this halftime show.â For the most part, I think about Sundayâs Super Bowl extravaganza with dread. Will I be able to resist consuming 7,000 calories worth of foodâor the all-consuming guilt when I inevitably donât? Will I be able to force myself to laugh at whatever nonsense the celebrities are getting paid millions of dollars to do in commercials? Will I be able to stay awake until the game is over? (Thereâs little suspense when it comes to that one: The answer is no.) Yet the halftime show has managed to maintain its integrity as must-see viewing, a spectacle truly worthy of the word. Who wouldnât be excited to see Rihanna perform again? To feel the opposite would be positively un-American. Just when I had let my crippling skepticism start to rear its ugly head over whether the show could possibly live up to expectations, I [saw this tweet]( and became giddy with anticipation all over again: When the first âNANANANANA COME ONâ or âBUMBUMBEDMBUMBUMBEDUMBUMâ kicks on, just know that Iâm sitting on my couch, absolutely thriving. The Ben Affleck Memes Never Get Old As someone who never wants to be anywhere, at any time, I feel a camaraderie with Ben Affleck. Myself and the Oscar-winning movie star who is married to Jennifer Lopez and has children with perfect human Jennifer Garner: We are the same. When Affleck was spotted at Sundayâs Grammy Awards [looking absolutely miserable](, it [was screengrabbed]( and compared to past times where he looked like heâd rather stick needles in his eye than pretend to engage with your shit right now. I can relate. The thing is, if you [watched the Grammys](, not one person in that audience was enjoying themselves. It was utterly bizarre. The night kicked off with Bad Bunny performing the definition of a âget off your ass and dance!â set. Yet when the camera panned to the other musicians in the audience, they all were sitting down with blank stares, as if they were in some sort of hostage situation. (Give her credit where itâs due: Taylor Swift tried her mightiest to turn the night into the modicum of fun it should have been.) Sometimes, you have to meet people where they are. For Affleck, that means understanding how going to the biggest night in music is as unappealing as being dragged to an elementary schoolerâs band concert. We may run in different social circles, but, Ben, I get it. Stevie Wonder might as well have been playing âHot Cross Bunsâ on the recorder. Hereâs the thing: I donât like when celebrities pretend that theyâre always happy. Theyâre busy-ass people. No one lets them sleep. Their time is constantly being commanded by an army of publicists named Lauren or Ashley. Who could keep track of all of them? They think they have one free night, and suddenly they have to wear a tuxedo and deal with a camera eight inches from their face, capturing their every reaction to Sam Smith wearing a hat with devil horns. Sounds exhausting! Give me all the grumpy faces. Affleckâs [Dunkin Donuts memes]( are the closest thing we have to a modern day âMona Lisa;â they are perfect art. The screengrabs from the Grammys are a close second. Harrison Ford Speaks to Me In [a new interview](, Harrison Ford is candid about the rumors that heâs a curmudgeon. From everything that Iâve read, and in all the (rare) talk show interviews Iâve seen him do, he seems like a normal, fun guy that just doesnât have the patience for ridiculous shit. It just so happens that his industry thrives on ridiculous shit, which is probably how he earned his reputation. In any case, he gave a [clarifying quote to The Hollywood Reporter]( this week, and I want to hang it on my wall (alongside my framed photo of Ben Affleckâs grumpy face): âI donât have a social anxiety disorder. I have an abhorrence of boring situations.â Sir! Yes! I am enlightened. I feel seen. Is this how Moses felt when God was like, âHereâs some commandments, I guess?â Several readers [have pointed out]( that this is the same energy as when Kim Cattrall said in [an interview with The Guardian](, âI donât want to be in a situation for even an hour where Iâm not enjoying myself.â We donât talk often enough about a) how shady The Guardian was for making that quote the literal headline of its interview with Cattrall and b) how it is perfect life advice. So much of self-care these days is about doing things and opening yourself up to possibilities. No thank you! Iâm closing myself up. Iâm staying home. I am walking away from your boring ass, and I am going to find a situation in which I am enjoying myself. It will likely involve potato chips, Bravo, and not having to pretend to care about whatever youâre talking about. Barbra Streisand Is About to Have Me Reading Again There [is a YouTube video]( of Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, and Bette Midler presenting an award at the Oscars, in which they argue over the proper way to pronounce Barbra Streisandâs last name. Because of the [redacted] times I have watched this video, I am so cripplingly insecure over what is actually the right way to pronounce it that I refuse to say her name out loud. That is a devastating position to be in as a gay person! Thankfully, just as Lea Michele has 265 days to learn to read ([perfect self-deprecating TikTok](; no notes), I have just as long to learn how to pronounce Streisand. Because, trust that when the starâs [just-announced memoir](, My Name Is Barbra, comes out on Nov. 7, I will be interjecting every single conversation I have with my thoughts on the book. There are a reported 1,040 pages in the book. That means 1,040 opportunities for conversation starters. Charlieâs Angels Reboot? I canât explain why, but [this exact combination]( of people means the world to me. Hereâs a photo of Lindsay Lohan, Julia Stiles, and Quinta Brunson at the Christian Siriano New York Fashion Week show, and if every casting director isnât hanging this on a vision board, then Hollywood truly is broken. [Obsess over it!]( [See This] - Star Trek: Picard: The new season reunites Patrick Stewart with his old castmates; sometimes nostalgia really is nice. (Thurs. on Paramount+) - Titanic 3D: A little-known movie is heading back to theaters, in 3D this time. (Now in theaters) - Super Bowl Halftime Show: I heard Rihanna is performing. (Sun. on Fox) [Skip This] - Your Place or Mine: We should all feel betrayed by how bad this rom-com is. (Now on Netflix) - Sharper: Julianne Moore deserves better. (Now in theaters) Like our take on what to watch?
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