Gravity is heavy today

Cecil dodges falling objects in his search for the truth. And SDStaff Chronos describes life on Donu [The Straight Dope] Gravity is heavy today By [The Straight Dope]( • Issue #16 • [View online]( Cecil dodges falling objects in his search for the truth. And SDStaff Chronos describes life on Donut World. Threadspotting The best of the Straight Dope Message Board April 10, 2020: [It could drive you to drink](. Straight Dope Classic: April 12, 2013 [Illustration by Slug Signorino] Illustration by Slug Signorino [Has anyone ever been killed by a falling piano or anvil]( Dear Cecil: Have there been any confirmed deaths by falling pianos? How about anvils? —  Stephen, Acme Industrial Products  Cecil replies: I see you’re a Road Runner fan, Stephen, although one of that small subset that wonders, on seeing Wile E. Coyote deploy a piano, anvil, or roadside explosive from Acme Products: is this technically feasible? Some say this attitude ruins a good joke. Not me. I understand that exploring the practical realities of being squashed like an insect deepens our appreciation of quality humor. I also have to say there’s a certain snob appeal in being able to tell a fellow connoisseur: you know, the real danger is when the piano falls up. We’ll get to that.   [Click here to keep reading](. Straight Dope Staff Report: June 7, 2001 [What would gravity be like on the inside of a donut]( Dear Straight Dope:  A couple of friends and I have run across a problem we have been unable to solve and it bugs me. Since you’re the world’s smartest human I’d appreciate you giving it a shot. Given: Planet shaped like a donut. Question: Would a man be able to stand on the inside rim or would he be pulled to the center of the donut? Or does it depend on the dimensions of the donut and if so, what are the ratios that determine whether he stays on land or floats towards the center? Assumptions: No rotation of the planet. The only force is that of gravity. Maybe you’ve heard this one, maybe you haven’t, but we’d all be truly impressed if you knew or could find the answer. The best I’ve been able to do is approximate the forces involved and it’s too close to call.  —  Roger Anderson SDStaff Chronos replies: We couldn’t get Cecil interested in this, but don’t worry, it’s not too hard. Remember from physics class, how you can treat a body like all of its mass is concentrated at the center of mass? OK, first of all, forget that. That’s only true when the bodies involved are spherical. To work with any other shape, you’ve got to break it down into pieces which are either spherical, or are small enough that their shape doesn’t matter. Then, for each piece, you use Newton’s equation, F = Gm1m2/r2 to get the force due to that piece (m1 is the mass of the piece, and m2 is the mass of the person or whatever). You then add up all of those forces, and you’ve got the total force. What’s that, you say? That doesn’t sound too easy to you?  [Click here to keep reading](. Straight Dope Classic: July 19, 2002 [Are 150 people killed each year by falling coconuts]( Dear Straight Dope:  During a recent ABC television report about how infrequent shark attacks really are, we were told, “Each year coconuts falling from trees kill 150 people.” That sounded absurd to me. Could it be true? If so, what is the cause of death?  — Nicki F. Cecil replies: This has gone on long enough. It’s about time somebody spoke up for the coconuts. For 20 years scientists have been saying you have a better chance of getting killed by a falling coconut than by whatever lethal life form they were getting big bucks to study. In 1984, for example, [this column]( quoted Dr. Merlin Tuttle, curator of mammals at the Milwaukee Public Museum and founder of Bat Conservation International, on the chances of being bitten by a bat versus death due to various misadventures (getting poisoned at a church picnic, murdered by your spouse, or bitten by a rabid dog or cat). Having worked up a head of steam, Dr. Tuttle thundered, “Statistically, you have a better chance in this country of dying from being hit on the head with a coconut than from a bat biting you.” [ Click here to keep reading](. Did you enjoy this issue? [The Straight Dope]( By [The Straight Dope]( Fighting ignorance since 1973. (It's taking longer than we thought.) [Tweet](    [Share]( If you don't want these updates anymore, please unsubscribe [here](. If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe [here](. Powered by [Revue](