Is Cecil sheepish about mowing the lawn?

This week’s assortment of Classics trims your grass and does the robot, while Elendil’s Heir gets the [The Straight Dope] Is Cecil sheepish about mowing the lawn? By [The Straight Dope]( • Issue #13 • [View online]( This week’s assortment of Classics trims your grass and does the robot, while Elendil’s Heir gets the Queen of England on the horn. Threadspotting The best of the Straight Dope Message Board  March 20, 2020: [Check out our new forum, THE QUARANTINE ZONE](. Straight Dope Classic: August 8, 1986 [Illustration by Slug Signorino] Illustration by Slug Signorino [Could sheep replace the lawn mower?]( Dear Cecil: I recently read that the city of Turin, Italy, had decided to use sheep to keep the grass in its parks trimmed. Being the lazy sort, I started to wonder: could my fenced quarter-acre backyard of Bermuda grass and crabgrass sustain a sheep? —  Chris A., Tulsa Cecil replies: Yearning for the carefree life of a sheep owner, are we, Chris? Let’s just think this one through for a minute. Your mix of crabgrass and Bermuda grass is a good one, as it happens: crabgrass continues to grow in hot summer weather when other grasses enter a dormancy period, while Bermuda grass can keep growing well into the autumn. Both kinds of grass come in assorted varieties with a broad range of growth rates: one sees figures between 6,250 and 13,310 pounds of dry mass per acre per year for Bermuda grass and anywhere from 1,000 to 12,000 for crabgrass. We’ll assume that (a) the grass you’ve got is in the middle of the pack yieldwise — maybe 6,500 lbs/acre/year for the crabgrass, 9,350 for the Bermuda — and (b) your yard is evenly split between the two types, meaning there’s an eighth acre of each. If so, your lawn could be expected to generate about 5.5 pounds of dry fodder a day. Since a mature ewe that’s neither pregnant nor nursing needs only 2.5 to 3 pounds of fodder daily, it’s reasonable to conclude that yes, your yard might be able to provide for a couple of sheep. [Click here to keep reading](. Straight Dope Staff Report: October 30, 2012 [How does the Queen answer the phone]( Dear Straight Dope:  A friend and I once tried to figure out how Queen Elizabeth II answers her phone. Now, obviously, someone else answers it first and they patch the caller through to Her Majesty if appropriate. But! She has to announce her presence once she picks up, no? She can’t just lift the receiver to her ear and remain silent. So what does she say? — Kimmy_Gibbler SDStaff Doug replies: You’d hardly expect her to say “This is Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of my other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith speaking” every time she picks up, would you? The poor woman would never get anything done.  [Click here to keep reading](. Straight Dope Classic: September 10, 2010 [Are androids possible]( Dear Cecil: Do you personally think creating a perfectly humanlike robot is possible? If so, how many years might it take? —  Debbie, Jakarta, Indonesia  Cecil replies: Anything is possible, Debbie. The question is whether it’s likely. My guess: no. Here’s why. What’s the point? We’ve already got a proven method of making self-propelled homunculi that realistically simulate a mature human being. It’s called sex. Five minutes of mixing the ingredients, nine months of patient construction, and ten years parked in front of the TV. Voila, the cutest little robot you can imagine.  [Click here to keep reading](. Did you enjoy this issue? [The Straight Dope]( By [The Straight Dope]( Fighting ignorance since 1973. (It's taking longer than we thought.) [Tweet](    [Share]( If you don't want these updates anymore, please unsubscribe [here](. If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe [here](. Powered by [Revue](