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Plus, need your decorating help?! 🌲 🦌 🕯️                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Forwarded this email? [Subscribe here]() for more [30% Off Ends Today @ Midnight]( Plus, need your decorating help?! 🌲 🦌 🕯️ [Ash Ambirge]( Dec 3   [READ IN APP](   GOOD MORNING! I’m sitting here as the rain pitter patters on the metal roof of the farmhouse, coffee in hand (peppermint mocha creamer, despite my 16-year-old engrained diet tendencies), thinking about going to buy a Christmas tree to put in this giant picture window. I don’t know about you, but I am fanatical about soft white lights at Christmas—and no other. I don’t want any of this neon blue bullshit, none of this multi-colored vomit, none of this haphazard mixing of the strands of lights. Why??? Why would we do this to ourselves??? A third grader can make macaroni art nicer than that. Of course, the worst offender is the blow-up lawn ornament. A giant Santa in your front yard is mortifying, but then you add a giant Grinch, and throw in Mickey and Minnie for good measure, and we’ve got ourselves a FEMA Category A. That’s the category for “debris removal” when it’s in the public’s best interest. I absolutely classify these lawn ornaments accordingly. In fact, I keep fantasizing about getting a BB-gun and shooting them all down. Friends have assured me that’s very illegal, but I keep thinking about it anyway. They’re everywhere. This just goes to show that bad ideas are just as contagious as good ones. It also goes to show that good taste is taught. So, remember that the next time you see anyone wearing leopard print. (I know, you’d think I’d be a leopard print person, wouldn’t you? I am, firmly, very much not. Nothing screams “2003 drunk girl at a nightclub” like leopard print. I try to keep my look to “2009 great recession” as much as possible.) Anyway, I need to decorate the new farmhouse for the holidays because I don’t want any of the neighbors to think I am a bah-humbug. But then I realized: I have never decorated a house for the holidays before. Like, the exterior? I have never HAD a house like this before. In Chile, I lived in a high-rise condo in the heart of Santiago. In Barcelona, I lived in a flat in El Raval. In Costa Rica, I lived in a condo with two yappy-ass dogs downstairs. In Philly, I owned property in a building from 1786 and had two nightmare neighbors below me. (Who would NEVER approve lights, god forbid, hahahahahahaha.) When I do projects in London, I usually stay in Airbnbs around Hyde Park (though one of my favorites is on Gibson Square, which is every cab driver’s favorite thing to talk about. Gibson Square is one of the very first point a London cabbie must learn when studying The Knowledge. If you don’t know about The Knowledge, you [MUST READ THIS](. Becoming an official cab driver in London is as hard as becoming a doctor—the testing is just as rigorous, and takes year to pass, and is an incredible ode to London’s history. I first learned of it from London cabbies themselves, when they would pick me up in Gibson Square and, almost like clockwork, comment nostalgically on how it was one of the first points they had ever learned.) When I’m in Madrid, I usually try to stay at [this Sonder]( right in the heart in Santa Ana. (Highly recommend when in Madrid.) When I’m in Edinburgh, I like staying in the village of Stockbridge. ([This Airbnb]( is a GEM.) Last I was in Mexico City, I stayed above a wine bar at [this Airbnb](. (ALSO highly recommend.) Sometimes I seek out phenomenal boutique hotels, like [this one]( in Biarritz, France. Or [this one]( in Rovinj, Croatia. (I’ll never forget getting an Instagram DM afterward; someone there in the hotel recognized me from my blog and I almost died because I looked CERTIFIABLY DISGUSTING that day. 😂) Point being: I am always moving. And, I have never decorated a house for the holidays before. And, somehow, this feels BIG. So, I’m going to lean into this side of me this week. Spend my afternoons carefully stringing garland, and artfully stringing lights (I hope—the whole “string around a bush in horizontal lines” thing also gets me), finding ways to turn the farmhouse into a miniature winter wonderland. I want it to feel romantic. Classy. Elegant. British. (Yes, I’m *such* an Anglophile when it comes to aesthetics. I love British aesthetics.) If you have any tried & true holiday decorating tips, for indoors or out, I’d LOVE to hear them! Please, please leave me your favorite tricks, hacks, and “ways to make things look really fucking good.” ⬇ 🌲 🦌 🕯️ [Leave a comment]( In the meantime, also wanted to remind you that today’s the last day to enroll in my bestselling [Selfish School]( course for 30% off, my modern business course that will give you an exact plan to help you make more money with your passions online, while you have the freedom to travel & work remotely, and do the majority of your work in the mornings and have the afternoons off, using little to no social media. (That’s why it’s called “selfish”—we do online business differently around here. And, like I said, following my own plan, I’ve had my highest grossing year yet…while working less than ever. Hallelujah, technology!) Use code CYBER30 before midnight. 🕰️ [Get Selfish School for 30% Off]( And in the meantime, I wish you a Sunday full of merry, joy, memories, and the kind of neck cramps that can only come from looking, mouth agape, at some of these horrendous holiday decorations. Looooove, Ash You’re currently a free subscriber to The Middle Finger Project with Ash Ambirge. To get all of my posts & chat with me in the comments, upgrade your subscription. [Upgrade to paid](   [Like]( [Comment]( [Restack](   © 2023 Ash Ambirge 177 Huntington Ave Ste 1703, PMB 64502 Boston, Massachusetts 02115 [Unsubscribe]() [Get the app]( writing]()