Why negotiations fail

Struggle to get what you want? You’re not getting what you want for 2 very specific reasons. In the movies, negotiation (both hostage and business) seems to be portrayed as some dance of minds. One genius going up against someone with all the power. Can they outwit and outsmart their opponent? This is because real negotiation is so dull and repetitive that it would make a terrible scene. Real negotiation is when both parties want something and they have to reach an agreement. It’s not about "winning" or compromise either. It’s about both parties feeling like they’ve walked away with the best deal possible. Any fuck-mook can bully or harass someone into submission. That is to negotiation what an eating contest is to fine dining. The world’s best negotiators let the other party walk away feeling like they got the best deal AND they let the other party think it was all their idea. How do you do that? It’s simple. The 2 key’s to being better at negotiation and getting what you want is: - Know what you want - Make sure the other party knows what you want The negotiation scene in The Office where Michael relies on some bullshit tactics, whereas Daryl and Jim plainly state what they want, is the most accurate negotiation I’ve ever seen: [( Most people lose at negotiation or even getting what they want because they don’t KNOW what they want. A few days ago I received a HUGE bill for a broadband service provider that I hadn’t used in years. They claimed that I hadn’t canceled with them and wanted payment for all the months I’d missed. I was willing to admit that I had forgotten to cancel, but under their own contract, it stated that I had a rolling 28-day contract. What did I want? I wanted to pay as little as possible of this bullshit bill. Did they know what I wanted? I plainly and clearly explained that I would pay 2 months of the bill. My reasoning was that if I had been notified that I had missed a payment either by text, letter, phone call, email, or plane-writing in the sky, I would have canceled. As I would then have 28 days left after cancellation, I would be left with one more month, so 2 months payments. - Know what I want – to pay £80 of a £1400 bill - Make sure the other side knows what I want – even if they think it won’t happen They actually laughed on the phone when I told them that. He even had to ask if I was being serious and for me to repeat myself. This is a good sign, because denial is the first sign of acceptance. They listed off dozens of bullshit corporate bureaucracy about the bill and how I would need to pay. I could have easily started with threats, legal speak, warn them about taking them to trading standards and using omsbudsmans and all sorts. But the key to great negotiation isn’t in bullying or threatening, it’s in making them know what you want and eventually having them think it was their idea. I had an hour-long phone call with them. Asking as many discovery questions as I could, over and over and over. Deep down I was seething with rage. But my phone manner remained calm and clear that the end result was...2 months payment. "That’s very generous to take it to your directors to see if you can get 50% taken off. But I’m standing firm that I’ll only pay 2 months." "I understand you have customers do this to you all the time, that must be very frustrating for you. But I really can’t go higher than 2 months' payments." "I know that I forgot to cancel and you tell me your system should have sent letters and emails, however, I never received them. So I’m willing to offer 2 months' payments." On a Monday afternoon, I received a polite and calm phone call from the manager. "I’ve taken it to the directors and suggested that you pay 2 months. I’ve explained your situation and they have allowed me to take that offer back to you." I was FURIOUS that he made out it was his idea. But then I realised, I had won. I was only going to pay £80 rather than hundreds or even thousands. At first, this joker laughed at my idea. Now he thought it was his idea. And because he thought it was his idea, he was happy and probably defended it to his directors. I knew what I wanted and they knew it too. Start getting what you want by knowing what you want and telling people, what you want. Have courage, commit, and take action. Mike Mike Killen Sell Your Service Sent to: {EMAIL} [Unsubscribe]( Sell Your Service Ltd., The Generator, Kings Warf, Exeter Quay, Exeter, EX2 4AN, United Kingdom